


It has been a pleasure

by Deajoraty19



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Aiber embarrassing L, Alternate Universe - Mob, And Wedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, B is crazy, Bathing, Conflicted Emotions, Dancing, Domestic Fluff, Fake Identities, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Hatred, Instant Attraction, L is a mob boss, L is stubborn, Light is a police officer, Light is ambitious, Light is confused, Light's talents, Lots of kissing, M/M, Matsuda cameo!, Misa cameo!, Murder, My boy Beyond is here!, Nightmares, Pain & fire, Paris (City), Recovery, Revenge, Stabbing, Stalking, Switching, handjobs, in Lights perspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:15:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 56,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25536460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deajoraty19/pseuds/Deajoraty19
Summary: No one else would have accepted this job in the office. It was dangerous they said. Impossible to do, they said. So Light being Light, jumped at the opportunity.Locate the man named “L” and find a way into his circle. That was his objective. Surely a mob boss would be an easy target for his charm.Everything was going according to plan, but then Light accidentally stumbled upon this strangely beautiful dark eyed man.Light found himself wanting to taste this mysterious man’s lips and the mission could go to hell.
Relationships: L & Yagami Light, L/Yagami Light
Comments: 95
Kudos: 133





	1. It must have been fate

**Author's Note:**

> So, last night I couldn't sleep. I grabbed a cup of coffee, decided to open a word document and somehow this exists now. My brain thought it was a good idea to have Light as a cop and L as a mob boss. And here we are. Well I hope you like it regardless!

Light Yagami had been an exceptional person all his life. Excellent grades in every school he had attended paired with his overwhelming charm, Light was promised a prosperous and exciting life. His sense of justice and his morality pushed him to follow his father’s footsteps and become a police officer. Surely his career would give him everything he wanted; to use his intelligence and cunning wits to bring justice to the world. Except it wasn’t at all like Light had wanted it to be.

Light was really not suited for office work. Days when he had to do paperwork and sort case files were the days Light wished he would have chosen a different career path. He was being used as a pawn, a simple worker of the force and he hated it. But Light knew there was nothing really that he could do. He would just shut up and continue his boring life as a boring police officer. Everything felt the same and he was getting so tired of this nothingness.

Until the day case 56 was announced. No one else would have accepted this job in the office. It was dangerous they said. Impossible to do, they said. Practically a suicide mission. So Light being Light, jumped at the opportunity, just to get out of his reality, and here he was.

In front of this sleazy looking building at 2 a.m. in the morning. Music was loudly pumping through the walls, Light could swear that the ground was vibrating. A bunch of different colored lights were blinking through what Light assumed were windows, as they were covered crudely with cardboard. Light took a moment to take a deep breath and clear his head, focusing on his given task.

Locate the man named “L” and find a way into his circle.

L was somewhat of a legend around the office. He seemingly appeared out of nowhere and with his arrival, many unresolved problems the police had to face with the mafia were all being solved, one after the other. L, one of the most feared mob boss of the underworld, punished anyone who doubted his strength and his sense of justice. L had refused to work with the police, even after offering him immunity from prosecution for his past crimes, claiming that his way of dealing with things was way faster and he could use whatever means he wanted to in order to achieve his goals. Light secretly admired him for that and wished that he could do the same.

He was a mystery to many, and the police wanted a man with such power over the mob with them. And that is where Light came in.

It was no secret that L liked pretty faces. Girls, boys, whatever really, as he was seen multiple times surrounded by them in every scummy place the mob ran. So Light supposed his physical appearance would add points in his favor. If he could make L notice and talk to him, the mission would be a guaranteed success. By talking with him, hell, maybe even by seducing him Light was sure he could persuade L. Surely a mob boss would be an easy target for his charm.

Mobsters, in Light’s experience, were airheaded idiots who used fear, the most primitive of emotions, to fulfill their superficial need for power. Intelligence was not their strong suit. Actually it wasn’t their suit at all, as false slyness and cleverness weren’t Light’s definition of intelligence. Crude and uncivilized people, Light thought scoffing.

At that moment Light thought _to hell with it_ and shoved the heavy and surprisingly greasy door open with a face full of disgust. Boy was he wrong when he thought the music was loud outside because inside it was even worse. He felt as if his head was going to explode from the ridiculously high volume of this bad bassy music that those awfully dressed people were dancing to. Well, grinding to, was a better characterization when it came to what Light wished he hadn’t seen.

His lungs protested with a firm cough, drowning in the thick cloud of cigarette smoke that had engulfed him the second he took his first step in. Light decided to ignore his body’s warnings and set to locate the man known as L. He was told to look for a handsome blonde man with blue eyes. That was his objective after all. So, Light put on his most mischievous look, fixed his hair a little bit and threw himself on the dancefloor. 

Swaying and shaking his body to the rhythm, he scanned the dancefloor to locate a potential informant. He needed someone who knew who L was and where he could be found. Suited up men and skimpily dressed women were flooding the dancefloor, all looked gullible enough for Light to attempt his trickery, but none actually caught his interest. Except the black haired man that was making his way slowly towards Light. The man was not a part of the crowd a few seconds ago, Light mentally noted. Light would have noticed, given that the man was strangely handsome.

As the man got closer, Light thought it would be wise, as a policeman, to thoroughly inspect the man’s appearance. His hair were raven black, truly unruly and quite literally a mess. The mysterious man’s complexion was notably pale, translucent almost, so he couldn’t have been spending a lot of time outside. He must be someone’s dog, always following a Mafia boss around, Light smirked at his deduction. 

His clothes were untidy, but clean. He wore a white shirt, with the top three buttons undone, showing just enough of his toned chest. Light could see the fine lines of his sternum and the delicate way his clavicles were extending to his shoulders. He wore simple enough dark grey trousers, with one leg neatly folded while the other covered his left ankle. Slick black shoes, maybe a little worn out Light noticed.

But what fascinated Light was the man’s eyes. Big, round, onyx black and so very intelligent, Light nearly cheered that a person like that was in this abomination of a club.

Oddly enough, Light found himself marveling at the sight of this strange man who was almost a breath’s width away from him. He figured a man like him could be considered attractive, even by his own very high standards.

Now, face to face with the man, he casually closed the distance between them and slid his arms over the man’s slim shoulders. The man smiled crookedly, his dark eyes sparkled in the darkness of the club. Slowly and very carefully, Light started dancing against the man, silently challenging him to do the same. And that he did. The man gently brought his hands on Light’s hips and began swaying, rather clumsily, with Light.

After a couple of minutes of simply enjoying this strange dance with his handsome partner, Light remembered that he must, unfortunately, do his job and start getting information out of him.

“What is your name?” Light, with a velvety voice, said into the man’s ear. The man pushed their hips together and huffed a gentle laughter.

“Miyahara.” the man answered. “Miyahara Shinji.” Light smiled. He now had the name of his unorthodox dance partner. He briefly wondered what other information he could get out of Miyahara, since he had given his name out so easily.

“And yours is?” Shinji asked back, matching Light’s sultry tone.

“It’s Nishida Toshio.” Light didn’t hesitate to give his alias. He was a cop after all in a highly dangerous mission, if his superiors were to be believed.

“Toshio-san…” Shinji started “… if you allow me to address you that way.” Light nodded briefly, already liking this man’s way of speaking.

“I have not seen you around this place before tonight. Do not tell me that I simply missed you, because a face like yours would have been impossible to forget.” Shinji innocently inquired.

So he knows I am not one of them, Light noticed.

“You flatter me Miyahara-san…” Light tried to look embarrassed, averting his gaze to the floor.

“Please, call me by my first name.” Shinji eyed Light, as if waiting for something.

“Very well. Shinji-san, I take that you are a regular customer. Do you often tell boys that their faces are unforgettable?” Light smiled and turned away from the man, sliding against his slim figure and coming back up to find Shinji staring at him.

“It is not entirely by choice that I am here. My job requires me to be. And I am fairly good at it, if I say so myself, so I have to be always present.” Shinji, unhelpfully stated. “Make no mistake Toshio-san, I do not make a habit out of complimenting random people in this God-awful club.” he swiftly added, encircling Light in his arms from behind.

Clever man and with a good taste. Perfect. I have found my victim, and he is rather fascinating, were Light’s thoughts, as his mind plotted and schemed ways to make the man talk.

“It is true. I have never been here before. But seeing you tonight makes me regret that I didn’t come here sooner.” Shinji twitched against Light. Everything was going well, Light mentally congratulated himself. “So, Shinji-san what kind of job would require you to be in this horrible place so often? I would very much rather washing dishes somewhere.” Come on, take the bait, Light inwardly begged.

“I do nasty work. Surely you could not care less about my unfortunate choice of occupation.” Damn it, but I do, Light nearly screamed in frustration. This man was extremely good. Light tried not to let his obvious disappointment show, and put on his most charming smile as he faced Shinji once more, effectively clinging to him at this point.

“So what brings you in this horrible establishment Toshio-san? The atmosphere here is just rubbish, do you not agree? Why are you not washing your aforementioned dishes at the comfort of your own home? Not that I am not glad you decided to come though.” Light figured that Shinji wasn’t asking merely to strike up a conversation.

He genuinely wants to know why I came here. Strange, Light thought. He let out a short laugh.

“What if I told you…” A small pause for dramatic purposes. “I have come here as a proxy.” Light eyed the man for a reaction. He didn’t get one, as the other’s face remained stone cold.

“Hmm. A proxy you say?” Shinji inquired, full of curiosity. “What kind of work would send an obviously vulnerable person, such as yourself, as a proxy?” He did that on purpose. To test the lines of Light’s ego. Light would not fall for such cheap tricks as false mockery and blow his cover. He was above that. So he brought his hands on the other man’s face, cupping it effectively. He sweetly smiled at him.

“Maybe it was to lure unsuspecting men, such as yourself, to me, Shinji-san.” Light’s voice was dripping honey.

“Hmm? And whose proxy are you, Toshio?” Shinji purred back at him. Light had definitely noticed the not so subtle drop of the honorific.

“That is for the person that I am looking for to know.” Light answered truthfully.

“And who would that person be?” Shinji hurried to ask. Light smiled.

He took the bait. Finally I can get something more out of this ridiculous encounter, on top of the obvious sexual frustration. Light locked eyes with his beautiful stranger.

“I am looking for L.” He stated firmly. “I was told he frequents here. Do you happen to know where is he, Shinji-san?” Light tried to fake innocence. He knew just how good he was at it.

“You were told correctly.” Shinji responded calmly. “Unfortunately for you though, he is not present this particular night.”

There it was. Light’s plan ruined, in shambles it laid on the floor in that exact moment, after the sentence left Shinji's lips.

L was not here. Light came here for no reason. He inhaled half a ton of cigarette smoke and danced to this abominable music just to get to L. But L was not here.

He was furious, he wanted to scream, he wanted to…. Well, fuck it anyway. He had a beautiful man in his arms and he couldn’t deny that he was insanely attracted to him. So why not have some fun? At this point, he really had nothing to lose.

“Are you disappointed Toshio?” Light felt Shinji’s delicate hand brushing gently away his hair. And Light snapped. He put his arms decidedly around the other man’s waist, caressing purposely his spine and looking up to him seductively through his lashes.

“Can’t say that I am Shinji-san.”

Shinji’s eyes widened, and after a brief moment he began closing the distance between them. Light’s breath hitched, as the man got closer to him. His face was strangely mesmerizing, his bone structure perfect, and his pale skin glowing. This was going to be exhilarating.

A thick, ink black set of lashes were framing beautifully his big dark eyes. His nose was slightly crooked, but oh so delicate at the same time. And his lips, thin but so perfectly symmetrical. Just for the tiniest amount of a second, Light found himself wanting to taste his mysterious partner’s lips and the mission could go to hell.

Just then, Light set his lips near Shinji’s left earlobe, giving it a feathery kiss and promptly whispering. “Maybe we could continue this conversation alone. Away from this place.”

Shinji was out of breath, as he observed his younger partner trying to lure him away from the dancefloor. In a place where they could be alone. He laughed in an amused, and incredibly sexy at the same time, manner. He slowly searched for Light’s hand and grabbed him lightly by the wrist.

“Should I lead the way, Toshio?”

* * *

The way to the motel was crazy. Frantically making out in the taxi, the way Shinji’s hands were absolutely everywhere on him, absolutely everything about this man set Light on fire. Never had someone sparked that passionate of a response from him. This Shinji person must be definitely something else.

As soon as Shinji closed the door of their temporary room, Light threw him on the door and went for it. His blood was boiling, his head was spinning, and he wanted to make the man who made him like this feel the same. Light attacked Shinji’s lips once again, gently sucking them and caressing them with his own tongue. It was absolutely sinful, but so much worth it when Shinji let out a pained groan.

So Light decided that he needed to make him suffer more, just to take his frustrations of a failed mission onto this gorgeous man. He pulled back just enough to hear their spit covered lips smacking and to come face to face with a very frustrated Shinji, panting and staring expectantly at him.

Well, Light never disappointed anyone, let alone a beautiful writhing man in front of him. He ground their hips together, just to feel their hard erections clashing and their hips buckling into each other’s delicious friction. Shinji let out a loud moan. Dear God, this man was an absolute delight to be with.

And then Light began shimmying himself down Shinji’s body, gently sucking on his stark white neck on his way down. Shinji at this point was putty in Light’s skillful hands.

Finally arriving at his desired destination, Light began mouthing at the other’s erection, leaving a tiny wet trail behind on the other man’s trousers. Shinji’s hips thrusted slightly forwards. This was fun.

“Can I..?” Light began, but was cut by Shinji’s hands frantically undoing his buttons and zipper. Light laughed at the clumsy impatience of this wonderful man. And then, it was off. Shinji stood half naked, from the waist down in front of a very flustered, kneeling Light. Light, gently caressed the man’s hips, then his lower belly, ran his dexterous fingers on top of the other’s erect penis and marveled at the small amount of translucent liquid that started leaking from the top.

He took a moment to admire the other’s arousal. Lengthy and so, so very smooth. Pale, just like the rest of him, except from his perfectly shaped tip, that was a tad darker reddish-purple color, undeniably from his obvious state of mind under Light’s ministrations.

It was beautiful, Light decided, just like him.

Just for a moment Light shifted his gaze just to find the other man watching with impossibly wide eyes, mouth half open and hair even messier than before. He wanted to see his reaction to this.

So Light, without a speck of hesitation wrapped his lips around the head and set his experienced tongue at work, gently caressing it. Shinji’s knees nearly gave in Light noticed, as he whined beautifully in response to his actions. He was so sensitive, Light noted in absolute delight. There was no way this was his first blowjob? Or was it? Shinji’s head fell backwards, with a loud thud hitting the door. Oh well, let’s give him a show then.

Light pulled back, watching the desperation on Shinji’s face, spat into his hand, wrapped it around the rest of his erection and began bobbing his mouth up and down the thing, making sure to suck it gently and that his tongue was fully caressing its underside.

Shinji moaned and wailed, closing his eyes and grinding his teeth. He brought one of his hands upwards, just to tangle it in Light’s brunette locks and very gently holding him in place while Light continued on with his lewd activity.

And suddenly, out of nowhere, Shinji pushed Light off and kneeled next to him. Shinji put a palm on Light’s chest and began slowly pushing him back on the hotel room’s carpet, while locking lips with him. Kissing him fervently, Shinji began to move his unoccupied hand downwards where Light’s own erection laid forgotten.

Kissing this man was proving to be one of Light’s new favorite activities, as he relished every single shudder, twitch and moan he made, with great pleasure. Not only he was extremely reactive to Light’s advances, he also was maybe one of the most strangely beautiful people Light had ever had the chance of meeting. 

He felt Shinji’s tongue trying to enter his mouth, and Light shivered. He granted access to the curious tongue of the other and it felt like heaven. Light had never met anyone with such a skillful tongue, the way it swirled and playfully danced with his was an absolute dream.

The man didn’t seem resented by his own taste in Light’s mouth. In fact it seemed that he was getting more turned on about it, moving against Light faster and with a purpose.

Once Shinji’s hand found his clothed erection, Light groaned quietly into the still ongoing kiss. The other man seemed elated and started undoing Light's clothes, just as Light began to unbutton his shirt. Finally reaching the bottom button Light nearly tore the shirt off Shinji, pausing the kiss just to admire the man’s slim figure. His impeccable milky white skin and his perfect delicate face. Abandoning the mission was totally worth it, Light thought.

Shinji was on top of him now, panting, unblinking and waiting. Waiting for Light to finish his inspection and then, with an arrogant smile, he yanked Light’s trousers and underwear off with one slick movement. Then, with the dexterity of his long fingers, he undid Light’s shirt in a few seconds and deliberately opened it wide, revealing Light’s smooth, tanned chest.

Both, stark naked now, paused, staring at each other’s bodies up and down until their hungry eyes met. They laughed. Laughed because this was ridiculous and they both knew it. What was this insane level of attraction between them? Why did it feel so right being against each other? They barely knew each other but still…

Light ceased his laughter when Shinji lowered his head and pressed a kiss just above Light’s heart, like it belonged to him. Light felt his heart racing like crazy, as if it actually wanted to belong to this other man. His mind was slowly turning into mush the moment Shinji began trailing small wet kisses down Light’s torso.

And finally, finally reaching his neglected erection. Light’s body sang as Shinji, very carefully pulled back his foreskin and place a single long kiss on his very tip.

“Toshio, is it ok to..?” He gently asked for permission, just as Light yelled. “YES”

“Very well then.” Shinji responded with a gentle smile, his eyes lowering to his prize.

And then Light was drowning in pleasure. A pleasure he had never felt before in his life, no matter how many partners he had taken before this very night. Shinji’s tongue was wrecking him to pieces, so very beautifully. Just seeing those perfect lips wrap around him and feeling the warmth of the other man’s waiting mouth, was enough to almost send Light into oblivion.

How can you be so perfect? Why haven’t we met before? Just who are you? The questions flooded Light’s hazy mind.

Shinji, after a few minutes of gently sucking off Light, pulled back, leaving small licks on the inside of his thighs and on the base of his cock. Light shifted to investigate why the hell this amazing feeling stopped. Shinji looked up to him with glazed eyes, slowly breathing through his nose and adorably pouting.

“Toshio. We don’t have any lube.” He innocently started. Light smirked “How are we…? What should I….? Ahhh, forgive me I haven’t…” The last sentence was never meant to leave his lips, Light figured. Light got up from the floor, cupping once again the other man’s face and looking straight at his wide, surprised eyes.

“There are other things we could do.” Light stated, placing a tiny kiss at Shinji’s lips. “We don’t have to do that tonight.” He probably would never see this man again after tonight. He mustn’t make empty promises. But he very badly wanted to meet his peculiar almost-lover again. There was no reason to visit this neighborhood again, If not for his job. Light frowned.

He saw Shinji’s eyes briefly spark, like he understood his inner turmoil. Shinji closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek in Light’s palm, as if craving for affection.

“Like what?”

Light tilted his head up to properly kiss his lips one more time before suddenly grabbing the other man by his thighs and bringing him up so their bodies were flushed against each other. Shinji was sitting in Light’s lap, and it was the most delicious sight. Their members, still aroused, were touching. Their faces mere inches apart. Shinji’s arms flew, seemingly against his will, to hold himself up by clinging to Light’s back.

“Like this.” Light confidently said, taking a hold on both their spit covered arousals, cleverly using their spit and pre-cum, to slowly slide them together. Both men shivered with pleasure. Light kept moving his hand. At first slowly, then faster until he settled on a steady rhythm that had both men groaning and their hips shifting upwards. Shinji hid his face in the crook of Light’s neck, placing desperate kisses there, trying to keep his uncontrollable whining down.

The sounds of their desperate panting, their muffled moans against each other and the lewd sound of their parts sliding together were filling the room. Light felt Shinji writhe and spasm against him and he knew that they were both close.

Shinji let out the most sinful, amazing sound as he came and took Light with him, as they both orgasmed seconds apart. Blackness covered Light’s vision as thick streams of white fluid covered his hand. Some of it dripping off their chests onto the floor. But Light couldn’t care less. This was amazing. Absolutely magnificent.

Light, exhausted, fell slowly back to the floor, bringing Shinji with him. Shinji didn’t move at all after their, uh, “intense” activity, simply draping himself over Light. But that was okay. He fit perfectly against Light’s body, as if he belonged there. Like they were made to be together right in this moment, in this strange motel room.

Light did not believe in fate. But he silently thanked whoever or whatever controlled his own tonight.

After a few minutes, simply existing together Light started stroking the other man’s lower back gently. Shinji barely shifted from his position. Light decided to break the peaceful silence.

“So a virgin huh?” Light smirked against Shinji’s head. He felt him trying to hide further in his shoulder. He brought a hand up to pet his hair. “How rare in this walk of life, Shinji-san.”

“So you figured it out.” He didn’t sound surprised. At all. “Does it bother you? That you wasted a night on someone with no experience?” He elaborated.

“Not at all. I just thought that a handsome man, such as you, would get a lot of offers when it comes to this kind of thing.” Light explained his reasoning.

“Oh, I do.” Why did that statement slightly disappoint Light? Shinji turned his head to finally face Light.

“I guess I am just extremely picky.” He grinned beautifully at Light.

“Well, I can’t say that I don’t envy the one who will take your virginal status away from you.” It was more honest than Light had intended it to be. Shinji simply huffed an amused laughter.

“I surely hope that they will at least have half of your beauty and wit.” Oh, you can have the authentic thing anytime, Light subconsciously thought.

Shinji got up and groaned when he saw the mess between their stomachs. Light laughed at his ridiculously adorable, annoyed face and got up himself, as it was almost time to go. He had to deliver the news to the Chief of the department. They were expecting his progress. No, his boss wouldn’t be elated when Light would report his failure in meeting L, but at least he could try to convince him to let him try a second time. Maybe he could see Shinji again.

* * *

Light meticulously cleaned himself and put on his clothes in the bathroom after Shinji had done the same a few minutes before him. He exited the bathroom, straightening his shirt just to find Shinji sitting in a crouched position, resting his back on the wall next to the door. What a strange guy, Light thought.

This may be the last time that I see him ever.

He approached the door, sensing Shinji’s dark eyes on him. He stopped one step before the room’s door, visibly hesitating to leave and turned to the man sitting next to it.

“Thank you for tonight Miyahara-san. I had an amazing time.” Light, with newfound difficulty said. He expected a goodbye, an affirmative sound, heck, even a nod would have been enough, but Shinji simply stared at him with that beautiful, perfectly delicate face. Light didn’t want to leave him.

“Goodbye Miyahara-san.” Light reached for the doorknob.

“WAIT.” Shinji’s hand shot out of nowhere and caught his wrist. Light cocked his face curiously towards him.

“I can arrange for you a meeting with L.”

_What?_

_You can’t be serious._

“How?” Light nearly whispered.

“Because I work for him.” Shinji said firmly. Intensity lacing his voice and gaze.

Then I can see you again. Was Light’s first traitorous thought.

Light was rendered speechless. He couldn’t believe his luck. He had met a beautiful young man who happened to be his gateway to L. The chief would definitely promote him if all went as planned.

“Tomorrow night. Is that okay for you?” Shinji’s voice hid a note of desperation.

Light closed his eyes and he smiled to himself. He took the man’s forearm in his own hands, turned it around and placed a small lingering kiss at the top of the other's wrist.

“Yes. See you tomorrow night Miyahara-san. It has been a pleasure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So according to google, Toshio means "Brilliant man" and Shinji "True ruler". I thought that was so cool, so I chose those names for Light and L's aliases in this. Well, I hope it was good. I'll probably write the rest of this on another sleepless night. I'll try and fix any mistakes I'll find (I am so sorry). Thank you for giving this a chance and reading it!


	2. Nice to meet you Toshio-chan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light meets L, or who he thinks is L, at the club. He can't stop thinking about having Shinji in his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Yeah. I had so much fun writing this. I hope it's good.

That morning, Light had two clear objectives in his mind; to get a cup of cold coffee and report his findings to his superiors. He got the coffee first. Light had his priorities straight. Finishing the last drops of his cold brew, Light decided that it was a good time to pay a visit to the Chief’s office.

He politely knocked on the door and entered confidently after an affirmative answer was heard from the other side. The police chief was staring right at him. It was Light’s time to shine.

“Good morning officer Yagami.” The chief greeted Light coldly. Light expected as much.

“Good morning sir.” He obligatorily responded. Light mentally prepared himself for the delivery of the good news he had to report.

“Have a sit. Please.” The chief pointed to an old, clearly torn out chair opposite of his office. Light did as he was told.

“What do you have to report officer? How did the mission go?” The chief promptly started, clearly wanting to progress the case with sickening professionalism.

In this job, Light learned that cases, missions and public image were the well above priorities of the force. Their own wellbeing mattered only as long as the press was happy with their job. Light was well used to it by now. So he got straight to the point

“I failed to locate L…” He paused, just enough to admire panic painting the face of his superior. “…But I managed to find an informant.” My beautiful stranger, he doesn’t add.

Light let a cocky smirk form on his face when the chief’s eyes lit up.

“And did you manage to gather any information for the progression of your current mission?” _Of course you would care about that. Pitiful._ Light didn’t let his disappointment show.

“In fact…” He sat straight, so that he could stare right at the other man. “My informant was one of L’s underdogs. He arranged for me a meeting with him tonight.” Light said, triumph ringing in his voice.

_Yes, I have done the impossible. What do you have to say now? Just congratulate me, so I can go on with my life. Not like you care for anything else._

The man’s face froze in time, shocked, with his mouth agape for a few seconds.

“That is astonishing officer.” He smiled, his entire demeanor changing once he processed the info that Light gave him. “Brilliant job. I knew there would be no better man on the force than you for this demanding mission.”

 _Great, can we move on now? Enough with the empty praise_. Light was an impatient man.

“Thank you for trusting me.” Light bowed his head slightly. “Is there anything else you wanted to tell me sir?” Light inquired so he could get a negative answer and get the hell out of here, as it had just occurred to him that he to buy certain things. He had plans for later that night that required “special” equipment. He sure as hell hoped Shinji would stick close to him, so he could share with him his magnificent plan. Light smirked knowingly to himself.

“Nothing of great importance, but it is my duty to inform you that there have been reports of several disturbances in the west wing of the main prison. It is said a former mafia member is causing them. One of the most highly surveilled prisoners in the facility.” The chief mechanically informed him.

“Everything is under control I assume?” Light sounded disinterested.

“Yes, not really a reason to worry. Just extra information you should be aware of, considering your current involvement with that kind of people.” The chief waved a nonchalant hand in response to his own info. _Still managed to bring up the mission_ , Light bitterly noted. The force’s pride was on stake after all. Light wanted to scoff. But that would have been unprofessional.

“Well. That is all I wanted to discuss with you officer. I wish you the best of luck for tonight’s meeting with L. I’m sure you can handle it.” The chief attempted a smile. It looked so foreign on his normally expressionless face.

“I’ll do the best of my abilities sir.” Light answered modestly. It always pleased the chief to see his work force act modest. Light was anything but that, but he still was a great actor.

“You are dismissed.” Thank god, Light thought. He got up from that uncomfortable old chair and began heading for the door. “Oh, and one last thing.” The chief called after him. He turned his head.

“Light, be careful.”

“I will be. Thank you father.”

* * *

Light chose to wear one of the best suits he owned for that night. A deep chestnut colored two piece suit with the fine letters of the brand, embroidered in beige, decorating its sleeves. It brought out his caramel-colored eyes and went well with his ashy brunette hair. Light was not playing, he was going all out to impress this L person. To, at least, leave an unforgettable first impression.

And if his choice of clothing ended up impressing a certain someone else, it would be an added bonus to Light’s book. He let an evil smirk grace his lips.

He stood in front of the mirror of his own apartment, minutes before leaving for the club, and inspected himself thoroughly, so that he could appear flawless in the eyes of L. He combed his hair back neatly, with the intention of adding intensity to his gaze.

 _Not that it would stay in its place the entirety of the night_ , Light couldn’t stop himself from thinking. If he were anyone else, it would have been acceptable to have these intrusive thoughts about true black eyes and perfect lips.

But Light was a police officer. An ambitious one, for sure. He was aiming for a promotion out of this, as soon as possible. Maybe then he would have earned the respect he deserved from his coworkers, not just for being the chief’s son.

He couldn’t afford to cultivate his obvious attraction, for a strange man he barely knew, into affection that could never be truly returned. The man worked for the Mafia after all. What did Light think? That he would abandon his post so that they could run together to Hawaii and live happily ever after? Yeah. Life isn’t a romantic movie. He couldn’t do that. _Unfortunately_ , Light’s traitorous mind hurried to add.

And what if L refuses to cooperate? What if he shoves Light out of the club enraged by the police’s intervention in his grounds? Not only the mission would be completely ruined, with no chance of recovery, he would miss the only legitimate excuse to see his perfect almost-lover.

Light's head was heavy with every possible outcome; horrible endings, good endings. It didn’t matter. The mission itself was already too much of a burden to carry. Not meeting Shinji again was an issue that should have never even crossed his mind.

 _Well even if everything goes horribly wrong, I can at least give him an unforgettable night if he’ll let me._ Light found himself dreaming.

Oh, look at the time. It was show time.

* * *

Light entered the night club with the same face of disgust he had on twenty four hours ago. The cigarette smoke still attacked his lungs violently, the music still abused his eardrums. But strangely, he felt welcome in this lowly place. He supposed Shinji was to meet him at the entrance, but he was nowhere to be seen. Light laughed inwardly. They were so busy last night, they had forgotten to set a meeting place.

Shinji was an exceptional man, Light figured. Surely he must have thought of something. I should trust him.

He cringed.

Trust? A person who worked for the Mafia? It was safer to sell your soul to the devil. For all he knew tonight might be a trap. A way to lure him into false safety and then he would be done a million times over. But for some strange reason, he was truly calm. He had a good feeling about this.

Light was a man of reason. Logical and analytical in every way. He doubted a person of his way of thinking existed. A person who could stand as his equal. Light was special. One of a kind.

And then Shinji danced his way into Light’s Life and took his breath as well as his reasoning abilities away. It made Light impulsive, not careful and vulnerable. He couldn’t give a flying fuck. Light felt alive, for the first time in ages.

After spending five full minutes staring at random guests in hopes of finding Shinji, Light decided to head for the bar. Maybe he could get a better view of the area and locate the other man with more ease. As Light was walking steadily to the bar he noticed a figure sitting strangely on the very last barstool. A very familiar and welcome presence.

There he was. His beautiful stranger. Sitting delicately, his dark eyes locked on the dancefloor, as if searching for something. Someone.

Light felt himself smile so widely, the vision overwhelmingly endearing and precious.

As he got closer, he noticed that Shinji’s outfit was also different. A slim fitting suit hugged perfectly his thin frame. Dark gray in color, but not as dark as his lovely eyes. His trousers now neatly folded just above his ankles. His hair, while still an absolute hairdresser’s nightmare, were parted slightly in a futile attempt to tame them. But they still did their own thing. Light silently applauded the effort.

He looked stunning. Some deep, primal part of Light wanted to grab Shinji’s delicate wrist and take him out of here, right now. But he must be patient. He had a job to do. The fun could wait.

When Light was a few steps away, his presence was immediately noticed by Shinji, who turned his face so quickly, Light though that he could have broken his neck. He saw those mesmerizing eyes shine, the corners of his eyes crinkling and those perfect lips lifting to form a gentle smile. Beautiful.

“Ah, forgive me Toshio-san. I was expecting to find you on the dance floor.” Shinji said sweetly at Light, maybe even slightly embarrassed for not noticing him sooner.

“Were you expecting a repeat of last night’s performance?” Light responded, far too amused by his own assumption.

Shinji brought a thin index finger to his lips. Light followed this movement with great interest.

“Who can blame me? You proved yourself to be very skillful performer.” Shinji replied easily. “You seem to also be very talented in dancing, among other things.” Light could clearly hear the playfulness of the other’s words. It didn’t help his already pent up state of mind.

“Believe me when I say this Shinji-san. My partner was very, very inspiring.” He purred right back at an increasingly flustered Shinji.

“You certainly have your way with words.” Shinji let out a tiny laughter, as he got up from his weird sitting position. Light was tempted to send the mission to hell a second time, finding himself jealous of the suit that was so close to the body he last night had in his arms.

“Well, I assume you are a busy man so I will not waste anymore of your time…” Shinji started, his tone shifting into something more professional “…L is expecting us in the VIP room. I was told to escort you there.”

 _Let’s get this over and done with. It should be easy_.

“Of course.” Shinji started walking and Light followed close behind.

“Thank you for this opportunity Shinji-san. I am indebted to you.” _Thank you for being you_ , he wanted to add so badly. But couldn’t.

“Oh. Fret not my dear Toshio. You can definitely make it up to me later.” Shinji stated with a diabolical grin.

Light felt his stomach buzz happily. His soul singing, just by the mere thought of being together with Shinji again. Only the two of them. Everyone else could go to hell.

After walking for a solid minute, and several shoves from random drunk people, Light and Shinji stopped in front of a paper door. A traditional Japanese scene was painted carefully on it. It was a simple enough depiction of a sunset. The vibrant blues of the water and the fiery reds of the setting sun made Light pause for a moment to take in this magnificent piece. Light knew how to appreciate talent in all forms. He respected artists, for they could express whatever their soul desired beautifully.

Shinji slid the door slightly, poking his head inside. Light assumed it was to announce their presence without making much fuss. He waited patiently until Shinji was ready to take them inside the room. The wait was thrilling.

Shinji finally pulled back from the door, smiled an encouraging smile at Light, something that he appreciated greatly, and grabbed his hand by the wrist to drag him gently inside the room.

Light couldn’t help but notice the stark difference between this room and the rest of the club.

The room was furnished with furniture of the highest quality. The walls were heavily decorated with all sorts of paintings. Two giant ruby red sofas were in the middle of the room, covered in velvet and in, what Light assumed was silver, carvings on each side of them. The, also red, carpet was glossy and fuzzy at the same time. Not the kind of fuzzy you would expect a cheap plastic carpet to be made of. It felt like it was made from the expensive kind of fuzzy material, that Light surely could not afford with his measly salary as a policeman.

This room emitted luxury in contrast with the rest of the club that was just trashy.

And right there, seated on the middle of one of the sofas, surrounded by a number of different people, was a blonde man. A fairly handsome blonde man with bright blue eyes. He looked foreign. Light’s brain instantly made the connection and he smirked with burning satisfaction.

That man was L. The L who the police was begging time and time again to meet, and he refused every single time. The L who allegedly held the mafia at the tips of his fingers. The L who was the boss of his beloved Shinji. Finally.

The man wore a pristine white suit with a dark red shirt underneath it and a solid black tie. His blonde hair were slickly pushed back with copious amount of wax, and glossed in the low light of the room. Light couldn’t smell it from where he was, but he was certain that he also wore one of those ludicrously expensive colognes, the ones that no one really could tell the difference between them. He sat in an extremely confident and comfortable manner, as if he owned the place. He probably did. He looked expensive.

 _Well, the perks of being a mob boss_. Light inwardly smiled.

The people around L were all drinking and laughing at what Light felt was a joke from L. L himself seemed pleased.

“Boss.” Shinji started, making L turn to look at them with a face of recognition.

“Ah, my cute Shinji!” He exclaimed way too flamboyantly for Light’s liking. L hurriedly got up, crossed the room to get close to them. He grabbed Shinji by the shoulders and gave him a solid kiss on each cheek. Shinji actually looked uncomfortable. Light wanted to shove the other man away from his precious dance partner.

But this was L. The L. Maybe this was a way to greet each other in this mafia family. Who was Light to judge?

Shinji took a step back from his overly affectionate boss and turned to look at Light.

“Boss, this is the man I wanted you to meet.” Light felt L’s eyes scanning him up and down.

“It’s an honor to meet you L-san.” He bowed his head. Light skipped the introduction since Shinji had already talked to his boss about him. He didn’t want to bother L with unnecessary information.

“I assume you are Nishida Toshio. I have heard only good things about you from my little Shinji.” L said with confidence extending a hand. Light took it without hesitation. So L was a westerner. Light added that to his findings of the mental study he did of this man.

“I can only hope to fulfill the good image ‘your Shinji-san’…” It sounded wrong.”…painted for me.” Light turned to lock eyes with Shinji. “Thank you Shinji-san.” His beautiful stranger smiled knowingly at him.

“I know you have a proposal for me.” L stated, all professional.

“Well Sir I…” Light started.

“WAIT!” L raised his hand to stop Light from continuing. He brought his fingers near his mouth and whistled, rather crudely, so everyone in the room turned to look at him. “Alright every one, out! It’s time for business.” They got up immediately, one by one starting to exit the room. Nearly every woman and a fair number of men, kissed L on their way out. Light felt sick.

Is this the L who every mafia boss is afraid of? Is L a man who can easily be dragged away and manipulated by a pretty face? Great. It would make Light’s mission way easier than he had originally thought. But at the same time he began losing respect for this man.

It was the only detail that bothered him even before he got on the mission. What mob boss acts like a constantly horny teenager? Something seemed fishy. Well, he could be wrong, though he rarely was.

So they stood alone, the three of them in this massive room, each briefly staring at the other two.

“Well? Shall we start?” L nodded his head towards the luxurious sofas, and started heading to them. Light quietly followed, stealing glances at Shinji, who seemed entirely disinterested by the ways of his boss. L took a seat on one of the sofas, legs open, back relaxed and arms draped on the top of it. A pose showing dominance, Light knew.

He sat in a modest manner, just opposite of L. Direct eye contact was the first step to success, Light had read in one of his many psychology books. Just before Shinji made a move to sit next to Light, L intervened.

“My dear Shinji.” L shot at the still standing man. “Can you do me a favor and fetch us drinks. You know, three of those fancy martinis with the olives in them.” L smiled arrogantly.

“Of course boss.” Shinji ground his teeth noticeably while turning away to leave the room.

“Love you too!” L shouted after Shinji. The only answer he got was a slamming door.

“Doesn’t seem like it but he adores me.” _Yeah, just rub it in my face that you two are close_. Light was a tad annoyed. “It seems he has taken a liking after you Toshio-chan.” Chan? How aloof is this guy? “If my Shinji approves I also approve.”

“I am glad L-san.” Light tried to move on to the point. “I came here tonight to…”

“No no no, not yet. Not without our drinks” _What_? “Also my cute Shinji is missing, I need him by my side” Okay, it was starting to get very frustrating. “Let me tell you something Toshio-chan. In all my years in this line of work I have come to appreciate greatly my men. Show respect to my guys and you have mine also.”

Light noticed that L’s statement was unnecessary. He was buying time. For what? For Shinji to return? Who exactly was the boss here? Light laughed mentally. Surely someone with Shinji’s abilities would have been better at being L. But he was making assumptions again. That wasn’t his job.

“And as I see you treat my Shinji well. That is mainly why I accepted to meet you. He is lovely, is he not? Would love to have him in my bed….” _Ew, stop._ “But he refuses me all the time. Tell me Toshio-chan, how did you manage to?….”

“I brought the drinks.” Shinji announced loudly and entered the room again gingerly. Thank God Shinji was back. Light felt like he was dealing with a fifteen year-old.

Shinji held a large tray with his thin fingers, the three elegant martinis on top of it. L’s blue eyes shone with joy.

“Brilliant! Now, we can talk.” _Well, if you ever let me speak we will,_ Light thought, his patience running thin. Shinji placed the drinks on the table and hesitated for a second, seeming to decide where he would be seated. _Come close to me, be with m_ e, Light automatically thought.

But L grabbed Shinji by the arm and pulled him so that Shinji was sitting right next to him. Light did not approve. But at least he could see Shinji’s beautiful face while he was talking with L. He could accept that.

“You may express your request now Toshio-chan.” Light saw Shinji roll his eyes. It made him happy.

Well, time for work.

“I will be brief L-san, since you are an obviously busy man.”, _messing around like a teen_ , he doesn’t say. L nodded approvingly.

“I was sent here as a proxy of the police.” Light started with confidence. L’s eyes widened, as if he did not expect that level of honesty. He figured honesty was the way to go with this man, since he doesn’t seem particularly interested in long conversations. Short and simple. It was one of the many things Light excelled at. Surprising people.

“I firmly believe that if we work together, it would be highly beneficial for both of us. L-san, I am aware of your refusals in the past, but you seem like a reasonable man.” _Well_ … “Of course there are several benefits for you as well, if you decide to accept this offer on top of the ones already set on the table. The force will provide you with whatever information you ask for, and will send manpower if you ever wish for our assistance. Our weaponry will be readily available if you ever need it. And many more that will occur during our cooperation.” Light listed charismatically. L was watching him closely. Shinji’s face was graced with a genuine smile.

“I do not expect an answer now. But please consider our offer again L-san.” Light bowed his head slightly forward again.

“Well I can’t say you are not charming Toshio-chan. Very convincing indeed. I see why the force chose you to carry this message.” L started.

Light could see the rejection coming. Well, he at least tried.

“I will have to reject your offer….” Shinji choked on air, loudly coughing and disrupting L, glaring at him while gracefully holding up his martini. He was a vision.

“…Uh… as I am not very capable at handling this kind of deals. That is why I have people like Shinji-chan working for me. You can be in contact with him while I think this over.” L answered firmly, seeming to search Shinji’s face for approval. They seem to have a very familiar and kind of weird relationship with each other, Light couldn’t help but notice.

“Thank you so much L-san. I promise that you won’t be disappointed if you choose to accept.” Light added professionally keeping a straight face.

His father was going to be elated when he heard that Light managed to make L think twice about the offer. The higher ups would throw him a party on the roof of their building. He was going to be respected around the office, receive new cases and set the paperwork on fire. He could, finally, kindly tell to his division manager and his crossword to fuck off.

And Shinji. Oh God. He could be in contact with him. What a steal of a deal. I get a promotion AND my beautiful Shinji out of this. Light was barely holding himself back not to laugh like a maniac and ruin everything.

“Ah, don’t thank me. Thank Shinji-chan. He was the one that made this meeting possible.” L turned to look to said person with a face full of pride for his little assistant. I most certainly will, Light thought. His blood began to circulate faster in his body, his heart was pumping like crazy.

“Thank you, boss for your kind words. And you Toshio-san for placing your trust in me.” Shinji made an adorable face of modest pride, averting his eyes on his drink and pursing his lips just a fraction. Light wanted to kiss him.

“Well, that was a good conversation.” L suddenly got up, nearly spilling the martinis on the table. “Forgive me, but I must depart. There are a few acquaintances of mine waiting to perform certain activities that require my presence.” He fixed his white blazer and took a hand out to Light.

“It has been an honor Toshio-chan.” He flashed a toothy grin at Light.

“Likewise sir.” Light shook his hand firmly.

“And by the way you are far too handsome to be a police officer. Maybe we should discuss if you are interested in working for me. Preferably alone.”

A loud crash was heard from where Shinji was sitting. His martini glass was on the floor in pieces. “I am sorry for my clumsiness.” He didn’t sound like it. “It seems like my drink has slipped accidentally from my hand. Be careful not to squash the olive on the floor on your way out boss.” Shinji offered an almost forced smile, staring daggers at L. Light was highly amused by this.

“Don’t worry my cute Shinji, I’m not going to steal your beau. Even though it has crossed my mind. I wish you two goodbye and have fun.” L let out a deep rumbling laughter and started heading for the door. Light was baffled.

“USE PROTECTION.” L yelled, just before closing the door forcefully, leaving them alone in the VIP room.

“Oh, my god.” Shinji hid his head between his knees. Light nearly chuckled at the ridiculousness of this encounter.

“Is he always like this?” Light was genuinely curious. Shinji lifted his face, meeting Light’s questioning eyes.

“Unfortunately.” He replied with an empty voice.

“Well, that was definitely not what I was expecting.” Light voiced his opinion without hesitation. Somehow being honest with Shinji was like a second nature to him.

“I know. I know.” Shinji ran his thin fingers through his dark hair. A motion that hid his frustrations really well. “He can be a bit much sometimes, but he is a good boss. And he does his job. And that is all that matters. All that matters.” he sounded as if he was trying to convince himself more than Light.

Light finally laughed lightly, because the sight of Shinji frustrated and embarrassed by his boss, L, was really a one of a kind experience. That caused Shinji to smile as well, a melodic chuckle escaping his lips. Light felt a subtle soft warmth in his chest.

Can we start with the fun part of this night? Light’s mind prompted.

“So, what do you say?” Light started with a cocky expression. “Should we follow his advice?” He did not wait for an answer, slowly getting up and making his way on the opposite sofa. Shinji was watching with wide eyes, mouth slightly open, seemingly counting every step Light took. Every step, felt to Light, like a kiss waiting to be given.

When Light reached his target spot, he stopped, just for a few seconds, to admire Shinji’s perfect little face watching his, like he was getting himself prepped up for an attack. Even if Light didn’t want to, it was impossible not to smile.

He held his left hand up, and with his fingers he, so very gently, lifted Shinji’s chin, just a little bit. Perfect.

Light leaned in. Shinji’s breath hitched. Just before their lips touched Light asked.

“Is there a way I could offer my thanks to you Shinji-san?” teasing Shinji was becoming a very entertaining pastime for Light.

“Yes. Shut up.” Shinji grabbed him by the tie and smashed their lips together. Light felt their teeth clashing, their mouths opening automatically to let the other’s tongue in. Shinji’s tongue swirled around Light’s, making Light weak in the knees.

Shinji pushed him slightly away. Light went to question this but Shinji took ahold of his blazer and threw him on the sofa. Light chuckled, as his back sank on the soft material of the sofa. Shinji climbed expertly towards him, sitting himself elegantly on Light’s lap. This was met with a happy grunt of approval from Light.

And their lips connected again. Pure magic. Shinji began moving his hips, barely, but enough for Light to feel the delicious friction. He placed his hands on Shinji’s hips, encouraging the man to never stop casting whatever spell he had, that held Light captive to his beauty.

While kissing and grinding softly against each other, Shinji’s hands began caressing Light’s body. From his strong shoulders, to his exposed neck and finally his muscular chest. He paused there feeling something in Light’s left breast pocket. Light smiled against his lips.

Shinji actually broke their connected lips to stare at whatever his hand pulled out of Light’s pocket. A small glass bottle of lube. Light had bought it that morning, crossing his fingers and wishing upon the stars that his beautiful stranger would give him the chance to show him just how pleasurable sex could be. Shinji turned to look hungrily at Light.

“Only if you want to.” Light smiled gently at Shinji, reaching to brush Shinji’s tendrils of black hair out of his face. Shinji smiled beautifully at him.

“Let’s go.” He pressed a last feathery kiss on Light’s lips and got up, intertwining their fingers together and tugged Light up from his seat. As soon as both were on their feet Shinji’s smile turned evil and he made a run for the door, effectively dragging Light with him. Light laughed a joyous laughter and ran with him.

As soon as they were out of the room, the annoyingly loud music and the smoke were making a strong comeback. But Light was on cloud nine. Following after Shinji like he was following an angel offering him a place in heaven.

They ran and giggled like children through the dancing crowd, in a night club that was owned by the mafia. Light was having the time of his life. All thanks to Shinji. God, Light began regretting the time when he hadn’t know the existence of this perfect man.

Shinji reached for the exit when they were close enough, giving it a sharp push, never stopped running. The old door creaked, as if complaining for the sheer force it experienced from Shinji. But they were finally out in the darkness of the night. The bright lights of the club shone on them, making their soft silhouettes apparent in the darkness.

They stopped running, just to catch their breaths, still holding each other’s hand. Light turned to admire Shinji’s chest heaving, his breathing becoming faster, trying to recover from their dash inside the club. Even in the pitch black darkness, Light could see Shinji’s delicate features and his thin frame and that grey suit fitted so very perfectly. He felt an unexpected thud in his chest when he found Shinji watching him back. They smiled.

Strangely there were no Taxis parked outside the club, like there were last night, Light observed. Damn it. Probably changing shifts.

“It seems that we have to call a Taxi. Or wait for the shift to change.” Light went to grab his cellphone just to hear Shinji drown a frustrated whine in his throat. Light turned to look at him. “It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. We can wait.” Light offered a, what he thought was, a reassuring smile.

“I’ve been waiting all goddamn day!” Shinji exclaimed, catching Light’s wrist and started dragging him again. Light was fascinated.

Light realized he was being dragged behind the club, in a nearly hidden alleyway. It clicked in his brain.

“Shinji. There is no way I….” Shinji’s lips interrupted whatever protest was going to come out of Light’s own. Light melted against him. Shinji started pushing him slowly backwards until Light’s back hit a wall. Light stared in silent wonder at his impatient partner, who at the moment was smiling like crazy at him.

No, there was no way that Light would take him here. Absolutely none. Light was a gentleman first and foremost.

“Do I have to beg you Toshio?” Shinji whispered seductively on Light’s throat. His lips were so soft, leaving small kisses on Light’s neck, following upwards the path of his Adam’s apple.

“Hnnn.” He eloquently answered. Shinji was far too sexy for Light’s poor consciousness.

  
Shinji’s kisses found their way to Light’s lips. Such a fucking minx. Light loved every second of it.

It was when Shinji bit his lower lip that Light momentarily lost control. He grabbed Shinji by the shoulders, turned him around and slammed him on the alleyway’s wall.

Their chests crushed against each other’s hard, their breaths mixing and their lips connecting like they belonged together. Shinji wrapped his arms around Light’s shoulders and they began making out like there was no tomorrow.

Light was far too busy sucking the sweet nectar out of Shinji’s lips when he felt something wet running on his chest. And instantly realized what it was. He broke the kiss.

“What’s wrong?” Shinji sweetly asked, watching Light through his lowered lashes. Light smirked.

“Well, the lube is gone.” Light saw Shinji’s beautiful face fall gracefully. There goes his 1500 yen. And his cashmere shirt. Not that Light cared, but he found the situation extremely funny.

Just then, Light heard cars moving in the street. Great! The taxis were back.

“I have lube at my place, if you make me the honor of visiting Shinji-san” Light, with a fake casual tone, informed his partner. Dear God please say yes.

The disappointment on Shinji’s face was immediately replaced by overwhelming excitement, making his eyes shine bright and his smile almost reach his ears. He nodded fervently. Light felt things.

Shinji pecked Light’s lips before releasing his shoulders. They walked silently in the darkness towards the street.

Light got a weird feeling the instant they were out of the alleyway. He stopped and turned his head toward the corner they had just been. Something felt off.

“Are you going to make me wait any longer? You are such a bad man Toshio.” Shinji playfully tugged his wrist. Light snapped out of it.

“Couldn’t dream of it.” He replied using the same tone.

They approached one of the taxis that had just arrived and Shinji reached for the door, opening it and swiftly entering it. Light watched him, smiling.

“What are you waiting for Toshio-chan.” Shinji mimicked L’s tone.

“Please don’t call me that.” Light said smiling and entered the taxi after Shinji.

Light just couldn’t shake off the feeling of being watched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My only goal for this chapter was to make Aiber embarrass L. That's it. The rest kind of came along the way.  
> I do have a fairly simple structure of the narrative of this in my head and to be honest I'm going with the flow most of the time while writing.  
> It's really late so I'll read it again tomorrow for mistakes.  
> Thank you so much to everyone who read it, left kudos or commented. You are giving me motivation to continue writing <3


	3. My Adonis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and L sleep together for the first time, Light is great at making breakfast and sugary accidents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just smut and domestic fluff. Could not resist writing it. I hope it's okay.

Never in his life had Light fumbled in his pockets for such a long time trying to find the key of his apartment. Not in the left pocket, not in the right. Not in the back pockets. Great. Where the hell did I put them, he was frustrated with himself. He huffed. He must look like a complete fool in his eagerness.

Shinji, standing right behind him, watched the scene entirely too amused.

“Something the matter?” He teased Light, faking innocence. Light was ready to rip his own hair out.

“I can’t find my keys.” He informed Shinji, his voice falling flat. Well, the fun was gone before it had even began. He half expected a cold rejection from Shinji. Some yelling, some cursing and maybe a gut punch, as a finishing touch, to his dramatic exit. Light braced himself.

Shinji did nothing of the sort. He let out a deep, warm laughter that let Light staring at him in disbelief. He stepped closer and placed the palm of his hand on Light’s chest. And then with a swift motion, he reached for Light’s breast pocket. The one where the, now thrown away, bottle of lube had been.

Oh, Light understood. He knew where it was because he had looked there before in the club. That’s why the bastard was laughing. Light smirked at his handsome devil.

Shinji pulled out his hand holding the key and dangled them playfully in front of Light’s face.

“Problem solved.” Shinji purred with a low voice, placing the keys gently in Light palm and bringing his now lube covered fingers to his lips. Light's eyes followed after them.

Shinji placed two of his fingers in his mouth and gave them a slow, luxurious suck, making sure that Light was watching. “That could have been you now if you didn’t have the memory of a goldfish. Idiot.” There was no bite behind his words. Just pure lust and mischievousness.

Light's blood, hot like lava, coursed all over his body, pooling dangerously close to his genitals. He nearly growled. Shinji was definitely getting a kick out of torturing him.

“I am sure that I remember enough to make you scream tonight.” Light counterattacked. Shinji smiled and leaned in, right to light ear to whisper. “Do it then” And he promptly shoved Light towards the door, laughing at his surprised face.

Light unlocked the door expertly and grabbed Shinji’s sleeve, dragging him inside his apartment. The door closed behind them as Light admired Shinji observing around his apartment curiously.

“Nice place you have here Toshio. Love the carpet.” He sounded genuinely impressed. Minutes ago he was sucking his fingers all sexily, nearly giving Light a heart attack and now he was complimenting Light’s furniture like it was the most natural thing in the world. Light felt a surge of affection rush through him. You are so weird, my beautiful Shinji.

He hugged the other man from behind, giving his neck a little kiss and placed his chin on Shinji’s bony shoulder.

“I could give you a tour around if you want.” Light smiled.

Shinji turned around in Light’s arms, now face to face with him and stared at Light with a serious expression on his face. Great. What now? Light was sure his face was glowing.

“I would love nothing more Toshio-chan.” A truly evil smirk formed on Shinji’s perfect lips. “I think I would like to start from the bedroom, if you don’t mind.”

Light laughed wholeheartedly at the unbelievable man before him. In a swift movement he scooped Shinji’s thin body off the ground and wrapped his legs around his torso, effectively carrying him.

“If that is what my guest wants, I won’t be rude.” Light lifted his head to peck Shinji’s lips. Shinji melted.

And somehow, between brief kisses and licks, Light managed to carry Shinji in his bedroom. He broke the contact they had, just to see Shinji blushing beautifully in his arms. He placed the man, as gently as he could, on top of his bed and removed his blazer. Light stared at the stain on his shirt and laughed quietly. He never had to wash lube out of business clothes. There was a first time for everything.

Shinji let himself get comfortable on the bed, stretching his hand behind his head and cracking his spine in the process. He was watching Light with a sweet smile on his face and glossy eyes.

“I can’t say that you don’t look good in that shirt, but do take it off. I would appreciate it greatly.” Shinji said blinking at Light.

Light began undoing his buttons one by one while climbing on the bed, right over the angelic figure that occupied it.

“Help me?” He requested, almost whispering.

“Gladly.” Shinji got up and started working on Light’s belt while Light finished with the shirt and threw it behind his head. His dear Shinji was so concentrated on his given task. Eyes slightly closed and that sinful tongue was peeking just a bit from his lips. Light couldn’t resist. He cupped Shinji’s face with his right hand and leaned in to steal a kiss from him. Sweet. As always.

He felt the other man smile against him and realized that his trousers needed to be gone. So he got up, just a second to throw them away. He returned to his guest fully naked, eager to get Shinji to the same state of being. Shinji visibly swallowed.

“Your turn.” Light informed him smiling devilishly. And started undoing Shinji’s shirt. Such a shame. It fitted him so well. Shinji’s breath was getting more unsteady by the second. After some fumbling around and some giggles when Light’s finger got stuck in Shinji’s zipper, they were finally naked in front of each other. Like they had been last night. But it felt different. More personal.

Light took a moment to admire the sheer beauty of the man under him. The way his soft skin was as pale as the sheets under him. The way his hair were absolutely everywhere. The way his toned chest heaved with every shivering breath he took. And oh God, the way his beautiful black eyes widened when Light was close enough for them to focus on. Light wanted to drown into their mystical abyss and never come back again.

You look stunning. Absolutely breathtaking.

Light leaned down to leave gentle kisses and suck on the side of Shinji’s milky neck, just to hear his breathing speed up and a shiver travel through his body.

Light’s fingers began wondering on Shinji’s soft skin, painting small circles on his pectorals, following the subtle dips of his abs. Shinji moved against Light’s hand, as if craving to be touched all over, and let his own hands run freely against Light’s back. Light felt each feathery touch on his back like it was hot iron branding. They fit so perfectly together. Like they were never meant to be apart.

Light lightly touched Shinji’s arousal, pulling on his foreskin gently. Just enough to get the blood moving around. After three minutes of Light stroking softly, Shinji’s member has rock hard and his hips were moving with him. Shinji’s little whines were music to his ears.

He let go and reached for the drawer, were the lube was. Shinji’s eyes followed the movement intensely.

When he finally got the small bottle on the bed next to him, he turned to watch his partner, just to make sure he was okay with continuing their exploration of each other’s bodies. Shinji instantly understood why Light stopped, and let a wobbly smile forming on his lips, nodding slightly.

I can’t believe I have him in my bed. I can’t believe I have him in my life.

Light was ready to take everything Shinji wanted to offer to him and give all of himself back to him. It would be for another day though. Because Light wanted. And he had never wanted anything in his life more than making this man his.

But something held him back. While gently caressing the other’s body, Light found out that the muscles of his abdomen were tense. His hands were twitching on his back. The poor guy must be afraid. It was his first time after all. Light remembered how he felt on his own.

He reached Shinji’s ear to softly whisper against his earlobe.

“We don’t have to do this if you are not ready. Being with you here is enough.” It was the truth. He would never do something to hurt Shinji, be that physically or emotionally.

He finally found the person that was equal to him. Who brought him joy. Brilliant in his own special way. And Light was falling. He couldn’t afford to lose someone like that.

He felt Shinji’s head turn toward his own. He placed a long kiss on Light’s temple and his heart shattered in pieces.

“Light. I need this. Please.”

Warmth began surging through Light’s body, but his brain hit a wall when he finally realized what came out of Shinji’s mouth. He pulled back. Staring. Questioning.

“How do you….?” he began, his voice thick in disbelief. “How do you know….?”

“Your name?” Shinji smirked. “I told you I was very good at my job.”

A couple of seconds passed. Shinji’s eyes were slowly filling with fear when Light gave no reaction. And then Light began laughing like crazy.

“You are so goddamn perfect.” He leaned in and kissed Shinji passionately, who remained motionless in Light’s arms. He felt Shinji relax after a few seconds into the kiss. Light pulled back to stare at him, amusement clearly painted on his expression.

“So full of secrets, my dear Shinji.” Light smiled. “Do not tell me your name is also fake.” It would be ridiculous. Absolutely insane.

Shinji laughed.

“And what if I did?” He was watching Light carefully, but with an easy look on his face. Light figured that he was just teasing him and answered easily.

“I would not care.” He threw himself at Shinji. 

Light got all fired up after that little clever banter between them. His loins were on fire, he felt butterflies in his stomach. He began trailing wet kisses on Shinji’s chest, stopping to lap his tongue skillfully around one of his nipples. Shinji moaned. Light got hard. Everyone was having a great time overall.

“You know.” Light started. “I’m kind of glad that you know my real name.” Light looked at L with hooded eyelids. “Because I’ll make sure you’ll be screaming the right one.” He got up and took the bottle of lube in his hands.

“Are you sure you want this?” Light wanted to confirm one last time.

“YES!” Shinji almost yelled, hard and frustrated. He reached for Light.

Light leaned in to hug him and whispered to him.

“Okay, okay.” He smiled. “I just want to you know that we can stop anytime and I mean ANYtime. Just tell me what you feel, let me know if you feel uncomfortable. Would never want to hurt you.” He promised him sweetly.

“Jesus Christ Light, Fuck me already.” Shinji’s writhing form requested. Light drowned a laughter.

“Alright then.” He spared an affectionate glance at Shinji and grabbed the bottle of lube that fell on the bed next to him. He opened it mechanically and put a decent amount on his fingers. He searched for Shinji’s entrance, never leaving his eyes from the man’s face. Shinji shivered from the touch of the cold fluid on him.

Light played around a little bit, admiring the shift of Shinji’s hips upwards to meet his hand. And then decided that it was time. He started pressing the tip of his index finger inside, always watching. Shinji made a weird face but then relaxed visibly when Light leaned in to press a kiss on the tip of his nose. Light slowly started setting a rhythm, handling Shinji as if he were the most precious jewel and would break under more pressure.

Shinji let a small sound escape his throat, one of lust and hunger. Light was extremely pleased.

He then pressed a second finger, then a third, and was slowly working his way in making this as pleasurable as possible. Light angled his fingers slightly upwards, knowing, just knowing how good brushing against that one spot felt.

“Ahh!” Shinji jolted violently, his back arching off the bed. Light, entirely too satisfied with himself leaned down to swallow Shinji’s small whines, and relished how Shinji was now in sync with the movements of his fingers.

Breaking the kiss, he saw the way Shinji’s black eyes glossed and shined at Light, begging him quietly to continue. It was a good thing, because Light never wanted to stop.

“Ah, Li..Light?” Shinji tapped Light’s cheek. Light answered with a short questioning sound. _Please don’t tell me to stop. Please. I’m too far off shore, drowning in your eyes and smile and everything else about you._

“I think I am ready.”

Light’s soul sang.

“Okay.” he, very quietly responded, afraid that if he were to raise the tone of his voice just a tad more, it would shatter this beautiful moment.

Light got up and reached for the condoms in his drawer. Gotta follow L’s advice. He got it out of the silvery package and put it gently on his, at this point, raging hard erection. He gave it a slight tug, just to see if it was on properly and put bunch of lube all around it, to make the intrusion as painless as possible.

Shinji began sliding his thighs together in a form of excited anticipation, looking up at Light with the most sinister expression. He was so sexy. Light needed to have him now.

He put his hands on Shinji’s knees and pushed them apart gently while sitting himself comfortably between the other’s thin legs. He put the tip of his cock where it needed to be and started pushing inside slowly. His arousal throbbed and twitched as he entered Shinji’s warm body.

Shinji let out a grunt and let his head fall back, exposing his delicate throat at Light. Light hated missing opportunities, so he leaned in to lick and suck the exposed skin. Shinji moaned loudly, and Light was finally all the way inside, feeling more alive than ever. He waited until Shinji let a frustrated sound and began circling his hips in order to get more friction. Light wanted the same, and so much more.

So he pulled out, inch by inch, and once he was almost entirely out he snapped his hips forward, seeking the warmth that had gone missing. This was greatly appreciated by the man underneath him, who let a loud moan leave his lips. Light wished that he could thrust with all his might inside this beautifully inviting body, but above all he respected Shinji.

“Fuck, Light, I can’t…” Light saw what Shinji meant, his eyes following the clumsy motion of the other man’s hips. He understood that Shinji wasn’t a man who could let control go that easily. Being submissive was something entirely too new to him. So after a couple of delicious thrusts, Light pulled out entirely and he swore that Shinji was glaring knifes at him.

He grabbed gently the other’s hips and rolled them so Shinji could sit on top of him. Shinji’s eyes softened when he realized what Light was doing. Light smiled at him, brushing his hair from his slightly sweaty forehead.

“Think you can handle it?” Light asked playfully.

“Oh, I just hope you are ready for the _ride_ ” Shinji smirked.

Shinji reached behind his back to grab Light’s throbbing erection and with one motion he connected again with Light, all the way. Light groaned.

Shinji began rolling his hips on Light’s, his own erection bobbing rhythmically between his milky thighs. An absolute talent, Light admired the breathtaking view of Shinji riding him. He could see clearly the flushed face of the other, his entire, delicious body. Light couldn’t take his eyes off Shinji.

The sinful way Shinji moved on him, and the absolutely perfect vision of him panting, and sweating were enough for Light to break. He grabbed the top of his thighs and began snapping his hips upwards, each thrust making him moan. Shinji relished the change of the pace, trying to drown his pleasure behind his hand.

No, I won’t let you do that. Light reached up and forcefully removed the hand, pinning it on the bed, never stopping his thrusts. The room filled with the sinful sound of flesh pounding flesh, voices consumed by pleasure and small creaks of the bed.

“Ahh….Li…Light!! I’m… I’m gonna..” Light felt the same, chasing his own release in Shinji’s tight body. So he reached for Shinji’s head, dragging him to lay on top of him and locked their lips together in a forceful kiss. He needed this. Needed to feel him close. Where he belonged.

The instant their lips touched, Shinji twitched and jerked violently, releasing his fluids on Light’s tense stomach. His insides squeezed Light in sync with his tremors of pleasure, inviting Light to join him.

So he did. He grabbed Shinji’s hips and smashed them against his, finally reaching his own orgasm. Light moaned wildly in Shinji’s sweet mouth. They swallowed each other’s sounds of pleasure, like they belonged to the other. Light reached a newfound level of satisfaction, right here, right now, inside this incredible man. Light wished for time to freeze so that this brief moment, when everything was like it was meant to be, never ended.

But all good things end. And Light’s mind began functioning properly again, regaining awareness of his surroundings, and choosing to focus on the slender, warm body draped on top of him. Light ran his hand gently on the other’s spine, counting each vertebrae on his was up, when everything was over. Shinji was laying on his chest, breathing heavily and looking like Light’s ideal definition of perfection.

It seemed that after a few silent, peaceful seconds, Shinji regained consciousness as well, because he began drawing small shapes on Light’s pectoral with his index finger. Light found that adorable.

“Light…” Shinji started with a low voice.

“Hmm?” Light responded.

“I should go.” He stated and got up, removing himself from Light with a small hiss through his teeth. Light panicked. He didn’t want him to go.

“Can’t you stay?” Light’s wide pleading eyes were fixed on Shinji’s face. He looked as if he was going to deny his request. Oh no.

“Please.” Light dragged his voice desperately. “At least for a while.” He hurried to bargain.

Shinji sighed. They were both so tired.

“I guess I could stay. Just for a while though! Until you’re asleep.” Light’s heart fluttered and nearly leapt out of his chest. He smiled, satisfaction dripping from every pore of his body and tackled Shinji to the bed, pinning him effectively.

They slept in each other’s arms until the morning.

* * *

Light was the first to wake up, as he usually did every day due to his job and rigorous morning routine. But this morning wasn’t the same as every day, for today Light woke up with his face buried in Shinji’s hair. Not quite soft, but not as rough as Light expected with how messy they appeared. The weight of the other man’s body on top of his felt weirdly pleasant and extremely warm.

Light made a move to get up, careful not to wake up his lover. Yes, he could finally call Shinji his lover. Finally. But while trying to get away from his beautiful trap Light found himself floored by Shinji’s face.

He looked like an angel, like something divine that fell on his bed from heaven. He looked so young in the faint light of the morning sun. And Light realized, this was the first time he got to see Shinji in the light of the day.

He wanted to see more, wanted to experience more with this man. Days, nights, evenings, mornings, eclipses. Everything.

But Light had to get up eventually, so he slowly removed his body from underneath Shinji and replaced himself with a pillow. Shinji made a tiny sound of protest and then cuddled the hell out of the pillow. Light huffed a tiny laughter.

When he was finally up, he went straight to the shower, as last night they literally died in each other’s arm and forgot to clean the mess they had left behind in the process. After a quick shower, Light, positively refreshed, headed for the kitchen to make some coffee and breakfast for himself and his still sleeping beauty.

Light gathered all the ingredients necessary, and was ready to begin chopping veggies, when he heard Shinji’s sweet voice calling him from upstairs.

“Light???”

“I’m down here!” Light yelled, placing the green onions on the chopping board. He heard the tiny thuds of Shinji’s footsteps and saw his face poking out from the bedroom door.

“Uhhh, I think I need to use your shower? Before I go. If it is acceptable with you of course” Embarrassment was written all over Shinji’s adorable face and Light chuckled.

“Second door on the right. And I have bathrobes you can use, in the cabinet behind the door.” He casually explained.

He was watching Shinji debating his next action in his head, and then witnessed the absolutely hilarious run for the bathroom he made in the hallway, having wrapped around him one of Light’s white sheets. He looked like an ancient Greek statue. My very own Adonis. Light nearly choked on his own spit. Like I haven’t seen you naked before.

“Take your time! I’m making breakfast!” He yelled after the statue man. 

About ten minutes later, Light heard the door of the bathroom open and expectantly turned his head towards it just to see Shinji wearing one of his fluffy white bathrobes and a pair of grey plain slippers. The sight was oddly endearing.

“Light?” He took a first step down the stairs. Light never once stopped looking at him and smiling. Shinji looked a bit uncomfortable, a bit restrained.

“Yes?” He answered naturally. Shinji, meanwhile, had come down the stairs and just stood across the apartment, watching Light back. It was like he belonged here. Like he was a part of Light’s life. He fit so easily. Effortlessly filling the void in Light. Stay here forever, Light thought.

“I think I overstayed my welcome.” What, no. “I should get going. I just wanted to thank you...” Don’t. “…Uh, for everything” Light’s heart sank in his chest. He didn’t want this to be over. “I am just going to get dressed and go. I won’t burden you anymo…”

“You do not burden me!” Light cut him off, his voice maybe a tad more forceful than necessary. Shinji stared, surprised at Light’s tone.

“I’m sorry.” I’m acting like a lovesick fool. “Just… Join me for breakfast at least. I’ll put your clothes in the washing machine-dryer and when they are dry you can go.” That sounded more reasonable.

“Okay.” A small smile formed on Shinji’s face and he began walking towards Light. Light couldn’t help but count each feathery thud of Shinji’s slippers, until he was standing near him. Shinji took a casual pose, leaning his one hand on the counter, right next to Light.

“I didn’t think you could cook” Shinji’s voice was light, playful. It helped Light focus on his task and relish this unexpected domestic moment with him.

“There is a lot you don’t know about me.” Light smirked as he began chopping carrots.

“I guess you have many talents I have yet to discover.” Both men laughed. Light turned to see Shinji’s gorgeous face smiling widely, his dark eyes taking a stormy grey color in the daylight. Light wanted to kiss him, yet again, but he wouldn’t want Shinji to get uncomfortable this early in the morning.

“I sure hope you do like omelets, because after mine you’ll never want to taste another ordinary omelet again.” You won’t have to, if you stay close to me, he doesn’t say.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had omelet before. Just scrambled eggs.” Light gasped, as if offended. Shinji laughed, bringing a hand up to his eyes to wipe nonexistent tears.

“I was raised in England and France. My breakfast consisted of jam croissants and black tea for more than a decade. Nowadays it’s just five spoonfuls of coffee and ten sugar cubes in a cup.” Shinji explained, having an affectionate expression, seeming to cherish the times where things were simpler.

So that’s was why you look so different. Your beauty was perfectly constructed from genetic material around the world. Light was fascinated.

“Do you ever miss it? Your life in England and France?” Light curiously asked.

“No, not really.” Shinji answered with zero hesitation, smiling enigmatically. “Though I wish I could visit Paris again. They make the best crème-Brule. French people surely know how to appreciate their sweets.”

“My, my. Does Shinji-san, have a sweet tooth?” Light asked. It was kind of cute, the way Shinji’s eyes lit up on the thoughts of jam and Crème-Brule.

“It’s not an addiction. It’s a preference.” Shinji sounded like he had had this conversation before. So he is a sweets addict. Light took a mental note, for future reference.

Light grabbed a bowl and started cracking the eggs one by one. He started stirring them and added the materials he had chopped beforehand. A comfortable silence was present between them. It felt right.

Light started the fire and put the pan on it, dripping his delicious mixture inside. Shinji watched the whole time, following Light’s every movement carefully.

“How can you be so good at everything? It’s unfair for the rest of us normal people.” Shinji remarked as the rich smell of cooked food filled the room.

“I can teach you sometime.” Light smiled softly. “If you want to. That is.” He added hurriedly, not wanting to sound desperate.

“My culinary skills are absolute garbage. I would greatly appreciate it.” Shinji answered honestly. Not even considering the thought of them having to meet again for that to happen. Like it was the most natural thing in the universe.

“You can’t be that bad” Light wanted to sound nice.

“Oh, I assure you that I am. Wa.. ehh my grandfather, once let me to cook for my brother. I set the kitchen on fire. No big deal. I appreciate your trust in me Light.” He laughed.

“You have a brother?” Light’s question came naturally.

“Well, adoptive brother is the most correct term for what he is to me. But yeah, we grew up together.” Shinji seemed to regret ever mentioning this fact. Light noticed.

“Where is he now?” Why are you so uncomfortable talking about him? Was the real question.

“I’m not sure. I haven’t seen him in a while.” That sounded as a careful lie. “We don’t have the best relationship with each other.” Shinji swallowed hard.

“I am sorry to hear that.” Light ended the subject as subtly as he could.

“No it’s okay.” Shinji dismissed. “What about you? Do you have siblings?” Shinji tried to avert the conversation to Light.

“I’m sure you know the answer to that.” He smiled an honest smile. “You knew my name after all.”

“That I did.” Shinji agreed. “But it’s part of my job to know things. Please don’t blame me for that” What was Shinji’s job? Light could feel the question nagging him, but even if he asked he wouldn’t get a straight answer out of the man. Light understood why, considering his involvement with L. L wouldn’t want the work of his people to become common knowledge, especially to a police officer like Light.

Light served the omelets carefully in their dishes, making sure to place them in a fancy manner. He began walking towards the table and Shinji followed him quietly.

“I don’t blame you.” I never could. “So, for how long have you known who I was?” Light was curious to know.

“Oh, from the very beginning.” Shinji firmly said. Light wanted to laugh. So that first night they had met, danced together, held each other was Shinji’s background check on him?

They sat next to each other on the table, Light made sure to offer the seat to Shinji before he sat on his own.

“Should I suppose that last night wasn’t in the investigation plan, when you came to me?”

Shinji let a rich laughter fall from his lips and searched for Light’s eyes.

“None of it was. My job was to verify your intentions. I did. The rest was a result of my unexpected, but not unwelcome, attraction to you.” This man was so genuine, so very special. And Light had him right here. He felt blessed.

“Are you really attracted to me?” Because I’m completely infatuated with you. Light wanted to know. Shinji smiled widely.

“Haven’t I proven it? Multiple times? I have to admit to you Light, I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before.” Light felt the same.

They understood each other, their eyes couldn’t lie. The connection was irrefutably there. It was never for play, or for manipulation. Light’s heart dared to hope, that, maybe, this was what was missing. What he was looking for.

Fool. His brain shouted at him. He dismissed it.

“You’re going to make me blush Shinji-san.” Light, in an unexpected surge of emotion leaned down and kissed Shinji’s forehead. An action that let the other man stare at the wall with impossibly wide eyes. Light decided to run away to mask his embarrassment.

He got up from his seat, remembering that he had to wash Shinji’s clothes.

“I’ll go put your clothes in the machine, please start without me.” He nodded towards their freshly prepared food. “There are drinks in the fridge. Coffee and sugar are on the counter. Feel free to take whatever you want. Please excuse me.” He made a sprint for the bedroom.

The whole process took just five minutes, with Light picking the clothes from his bedroom’s floor and bringing them to the laundry room. The smell of sweat and cologne still lingered on the other’s shirt.

When he was back to the kitchen he found Shinji placing sugar cubes delicately in a huge glass of orange juice. He was so weird. Light loved it. He seemed so absorbed in his ridiculous task he did not notice Light approaching from behind. Light, when he was close enough, wrapped his arms around the unsuspecting man, making him yelp and throw the cube he was currently holding upwards. It landed on Light’s head, breaking apart and running down his face.

Shinji sharply turned around to face a very unamused Light. Shinji burst out laughing, hiding his face on Light’s chest and chuckling uncontrollably. His slim shoulders were shaking in sync with the vibrations Light felt on his chest. That went on for a couple of seconds.

When Shinji stopped laughing, he stared up at Light, looking ready to start laughing again any second now.

“I know you like sweet things, but what the fuck?” Light mood brightened immensely when he saw the beauty laughter brought to his lover. You should always look like this.

“I’m sorry.” He wasn’t. His eyes were already tearing up.

“Well, my morning shower was completely useless. Good to know.” Light finally smiled at Shinji.

Shinji leaned in and licked Light's cheek, where some sugar was left. Light sighed.

“You taste good though.” Shinji smirked. “But you always do.” He closed his eyes for a brief moment and stole a kiss from Light. Light’s arm tightened slightly around Shinji. He kissed back.

Shinji broke the kiss gently. Light's head followed, seeking to reconnect their lips. Shinji placed a finger on his slightly puckered lips.

“The omelets are going to get cold.” Oh my God, fuck the omelets. “You took time to make them, so we will eat!” Shinji let himself free from Light’s embrace, took his glass of diabetic juice and sat on his chair, in the weird manner he was seated last night on the bar stool, his eyes inviting Light to follow.

“Why do you have to torture me? I’ve been nice. I made you food!” Light took a fake disappointed expression. He was anything but disappointed.

“Yes, you did. And we are going to eat it!” Shinji took down a swig of his horribly sweet concoction. Light laughed affectionately.

“Very well then.” He followed the actions of his ridiculous lover.

They ate quietly, occasionally throwing jokes at each other, commenting on Light’s immaculate cooking skills and Light struggling to remove the sugar that fell in his plate from his hair. Shinji snorted each and every time. It was so much fun, Light felt like he could act his age and not be continuously serious just to please others.

When their plates were empty and their stomachs full, Shinji got up and turned to Light.

“I would love to stay more, but unfortunately I have some business to conduct with L…” He looked angry. “…and you work night shift tonight, so I will have to go.” He sounded slightly sad. Light felt the same.

“How do you know I’m working night shift tonight?” He knew the answer, but thought that he had to tease Shinji a bit before he left and took the joy Light felt, with him. Shinji just smirked knowingly.

“Yeah, don’t answer that.” Light laughed. “What am I gonna do with you?”

Shinji faked a serious face.

“Hopefully treat me nice, let me pour sugar all over you again...” He nearly started laughing again “…and take me out for dinner. I’m quite demanding Light.” He added jokingly.

“Done.” It was that simple. “What about tomorrow night? I have the day off.”

“Did not expect that it would work.” Shinji started, surprised. “But I’m glad it did.” His eyes softened.

“Should I give you my phone number or do you already have it?” Light asked, questioning why he bothered asking in the first place.

“That won’t be necessary my dear Light. I will be in touch with you.” He started heading for the laundry room

“Perfect” And Light meant it. About everything.

* * *

About three hours later, long after his beautiful Shinji was gone, Light had to get ready for work. He expected new orders for his higher ups, to see what was being done with L’s case. Light felt confident that this case was going to be his ticket to recognition. He had to get to the office fast.

After taking a second shower, to remove whatever sugar remained stuck in his hair, he mechanically put on his uniform and headed for the door.

Just before exiting Light noticed a piece of paper just in front of his door. Someone slid that under here, Light thought. He lifted it carefully and turned it around. In capital letters was written crudely on the note:

‘YOU ARE A WEAKNESS’

A weakness? What does that mean? Did the note mean ‘weak’?

Light's head was full of questions.

But he wasn’t worried. He had a simple answer to this. The kids next door slid multiple times several things under Light’s door as a joke. He had found hello kitty stickers, an obviously fake love confession and even a note inviting him to play in the playground. He liked those little brats.

Besides, the note was probably not grammatically correct so it was more possible that children had it written.

Light smirked, crumbled the note and left for work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't already guessed it, I'm bringing someone in the story. I won't tell you yet, though I think it's pretty obvious who it is. I absolutely love hearing your thoughts about the story.  
> See you guys next chapter!


	4. Moon of death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A phone conversation and an unexpected incident. Light begins questioning his sanity.

Light got to work relatively early. Two hours early. He had left from the appartment minutes after Shinji did, not even bothering to check what time it was. His place was far too quiet after Shinji was gone, he just wanted to fast forward time so they could meet again.

Soon enough, Light smiled to himself.

Since he was early, he decided that perhaps he should go buy something from the convenience store nearby, just a few blocks down from the police station. Night shifts were even more brutal when Light was hungry, so maybe something sweet would keep him through the night. Something sweet… My dear Shinji, you are rubbing off on me.

He walked slowly, taking his time to appreciate his surroundings. It was absolutely magnificent how the flowers were at full bloom this time of the year. Decorating almost every part of the neighborhood, spreading color in contrast to the dull grey buildings that dominated the city. Light almost felt happy. If only he was free tonight, maybe he would have visited the club again. For no reason, really. That filthy place, somehow felt important to him.

He could now see the colorful sign of the store, which was great, because his stomach began twisting and turning, complaining about the lunch he had missed. Light was a few feet away from the store when something, no, someone clashed on him, seemingly with all their might. 

Light took a couple of steps backwards, clutching the shoulder that had taken the impact with his other hand and hissed through his teeth in pain. How fast was this person going? Why were they running in the middle of the street? Light was ready to scold the citizen and turned around to face them.

But what he saw left him speechless for a moment. There was a person, a man, kneeling in an extremely awkward, and what Light assumed was very painful, position. Both his hands were clutching his face, blood dripping from his nose and mouth. He must have fallen face first on the floor.

“Sir, are you okay?” Light reached for the other man, worried.

But the man’s eyes widened in fear, full of pure terror, as he screamed and backed away from Light’s hand, crawling backwards on the pavement. His breathing was erratic, wheezing and one of the man’s hands was firmly attached to his lower left ribcage, just below his heart.

What on earth was that? 

The man never stopped looking at Light with a terrified expression. He groaned in pain and clutched harder at his chest, that was now visible to Light, which was covered in blood. And that is when Light realized that it wasn’t the fall that had caused his injuries but rather someone.

“You….You… I saw you… You were with him….” The man’s hoarse voice rang in Light’s ears.

“It’s okay, I won’t hurt you.” Light started.

The man was not convinced. “I am a police officer, you are under protection in my presence.” He tried to explain gently to the hurt man.

“The police station is just a few blocks from here. You can call them any moment you think I am a threat to your safety.” Light knew how to use his words in order to sound convincing. He had received that skill from his past police training, and, admittedly, he was a naturally good speaker. He kneeled down, next to the man, with slow movements, never breaking eye contact.

“But…but… I saw you with him… How can this be?” The man was talking mostly to himself, confusion washing over him.

“Who did you saw me with?” Light calmly asked.

“The black haired man. In the club.”

Shinji?

What does Shinji have to do with this?

“When did you see us together?” Light had to confirm that it was indeed him.

“L… In L’s room. I was there before... you came in with him…” The man’s words were laced with fear. His breaths shaking. There was no doubt in the man’s eyes. It was Shinji the one he was referring to.

“What did he do? What is wrong?” Multiple things were wrong. Shinji didn’t seem the type of man to do this kind of job. Yes, he was part of the mafia, but Light couldn’t bear to imagine those fragile pale fingers covered in blood.

“He….uhh… he. I can’t tell you. He’ll come after me again. No, no no …….” The man began chanting ‘no’ as he reached for his hair and dug his nails in his skull hard. Blood began dripping on his forehead.

“It’s alright now, you are safe with me here. When did this happen?” Light carefully probed the question.

“Five, maybe ten, minutes ago.” The man informed him quietly.

“The man who did this to you. Was it the man who was with me at the club?” Light begged and hoped that it wouldn’t be him. Please don’t let it be him.

“Yes.” Light’s stomach tied itself in knots.

“Black hair, big eyes, pale skin. It was him! It was him…” The man insisted.

“Where did he go?” Light asked because he knew that he had to be close.

“It’s futile…. He has already fled from here…He’s too fast…he” And then the man burst into tears. The blood form his forehead mixed with the tears running from his eyes, covering his entire face with trails of washed out red. Light felt intense hatred flooding his body for the scum that was responsible for this. Even if it meant that the scum was Shinji.

Light brought a hand forward, just to test the man’s trust, but the man wrapped his own arms around him and started sobbing uncontrollably. What the hell did Shinji do? Light could feel disappointment burn his loins, cutting the air from his lungs. What the hell am I going to do now? Arrest him tomorrow? Light sighed painfully.

“Shhh, it’s okay.” He started soothing the man. “It will all be fine. I will call for an ambulance.” Light reached for his phone and got to his feet.

“Yes, hello. This is officer Light Yagami speaking. I need an ambulance three blocks from the police department.” A pause. “Yes, next to the convenience store. I understand. Thank you very much.” Light’s head was buzzing, it felt as if it was going to explode any moment now. But there was a citizen who needed his help and guidance, so he tried to get it together, at least for a while.

“Come with me, we’ll go inside the store and you will wait there for the ambulance. It’s too dangerous to stay here.” Light motioned towards the store with his hand and thankfully the man understood. The man got up and with trembling steps he followed Light inside.

Light didn’t get anything from the store.

* * *

It was only 15: 41.

Light stared intensely at the clock on the wall of his office, as if his piercing gaze would somehow make it go faster. On one hand, he wanted time to go faster, so that he could go home, eat some ramen and go to bed. On the other hand, he knew that the moment he was going to leave his office Shinji would consume his thoughts, like an unwanted parasite.

It had only been thirty minutes since, but Light’s brain was cruelly replaying the scene from before, causing him an extremely painful headache and confusion.

Why would Shinji attack someone? Did someone from the Mafia tell him to do it? Was L responsible for this? Did Shinji do it of his own volition? Which was worse? Light's brain cells fought over and over again trying desperately to find an excuse, a reason, something to explain what the man told him before.

He didn’t want it to be Shinji. But the man was certain that it was. Light wanted to break something, frustration filling his mind, his patience running thin. Why couldn’t the universe let him have this one good thing in his goddamned life? Light felt anger boiling his blood, he could physically feel the vein popping on his temple. He looked at the clock again.

15: 47

Light felt the overwhelming need to punch the clock and shatter it to pieces. And then his phone rang.

Light blinked, clearly not expecting the call, and tried to calm down before he reached for the phone. On the screen said “Unknown number”. Light could pretty much guess who the caller was, and even if it was the last person Light had wanted to call him, he found himself wanting, needing to hear his voice. He accepted the call.

“This is Light Yagami. Who am I speaking to?” Light said with a dead voice.

“An overly impatient man, who was thinking about omelets.” It was indeed Shinji. Light could recognize his unique, deep voice anywhere. He resisted smiling.

“Really? Don’t tell me you want the recipe? I thought you hated anything not sweet.” Light couldn’t help himself. Teasing Shinji came naturally.

“What can I say? You made me a believer.”

Light wanted not to smirk, wanted to remain stoic but then Shinji laughed ever so gently on the other end and Light’s façade broke.

“Look at you, wanting to eat something other than a sugar factory. I’m kind of proud.”

“Hey!” Shinji exclaimed, as if offended by Light’s statement. “I will have to inform you that not everything I eat is sweet.” He stated categorically.

“I don’t believe that. Name one thing you have eaten this week that wasn’t sweet, excluding the omelet.” Light challenged, already amused.

“Your dick!”

...

And Light burst into an unexpected fit of laughter, his eyes actually tearing up. He did not expect that answer. It went on for a solid minute. This man was ridiculous.

“That… is not… food.” He managed to articulate through his laughter. His ribs were actually starting to ache.

“You did not clarify.” Light could feel the smile forming on Shinji’s lips. “And I would love to have it again. Five stars from me. The omelet was good as well.” Light was wheezing, Shinji laughed at Light wheezing, everything felt right, even if Light knew that it wasn't. 

“Okay, okay…” Shinji stopped laughing “I did not call you to talk about genitals. Even thought we should talk about it sometime.” Light rolled his eyes, but the promise of sometime in the future made his heart flutter against his will.

“I’ll hold you to that.” Light answered with ease. “I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting you to call this early.”

“Uh, well, I assumed an acceptable amount of time has passed since our last meeting.” Shinji innocently said in an awkward manner. He sounded flustered. Light was willing to bet that Shinji’s eyes were locked on the floor. It was something Light noticed Shinji doing during their brief time together.

Light glanced at the clock again.

16:01

“Literally, three hours have passed since then.” He cleverly noticed.

“It’s already three hours more than I would like.” Shinji was positively pouting on the other end. It threw Light’s brain into a frenzy.

“Can’t argue with that.” Light was being honest. He felt the same way. Shinji let out a tiny cough, seemingly clearing his throat.

“The reason I have called, as you already have guessed, is to discuss details about tomorrow’s courting event.” Light held back a snort.

“Courting event? Who talks like that?” He teased. He loved hearing Shinji talking in strange words and phrases in a way that was his and his alone. It was one of the countless things that Light adored about him.

“I do!” Shinji sounded flustered. “Now, please indulge me as I have a few questions for the _COURTING EVENT_.” He exaggerated unnecessarily.

“Go ahead.” Light felt himself smiling.

“Okay.” he took a steadying breath “Firstly, where is it going to take place?”

“We can go to whatever restaurant of your choice or you could enjoy my magnificent cooking at my place again. Which one sounds best to you?”

“A restaurant doesn’t sound bad, but I would love to have whatever you’ll be cooking. You are far too talented for me to let an opportunity like that pass.” It sounded reasonable, he was a great cook. And the bed was far closer to his kitchen in contrast to the restaurant… No, no, Light stop.

“So, my place tomorrow night. I’ll cook something nice. It will blow your mind.” Light’s confidence in his skills shined brightly through his words.

“Is my mind the only thing that you are offering to blow? Because I have requests!” Shinji exclaimed with determination. Light laughed slightly.

“You can voice your ‘requests’ after the main dish has been served. I can do pasta, I love my Italian recipes, or seafood. Maybe something with chicken. I’m not sure yet. What would you prefer for our main course?”

“If I say ‘your dick’ again, are you going to be offended?” Shinji asked quietly. Light was going to lose it. His Shinji was proving to be quite insatiable.

“Didn’t peg you as a sex addict. I can’t believe you were a virgin.” ‘Were’ was the keyword in that sentence. Light wished so badly to see that pale face flush with embarrassment.

“Ahh, it’s entirely your fault! Mr ‘I am good at everything I do’. How can you expect my mind to operate correctly after last night? You don’t understand the suffering I had to endure Light! There I was, talking with Aiber, minding my own business and images of you pounding me into the mattress flooded my head. You should be illegal. You and your magic dick!” Shinji, after his amusing monologue, sounded out of breath. Light understood too well, for Shinji was in his head all day long, only for the wrong reasons.

“Who is Aiber?” Light instinctively asked after hearing another man’s name from Shinji’s lips. He’s never mentioned the name before.

“We work together for L.” Shinji answered with no hesitation. “We’ve been having an unnecessarily long meeting for over two hours now and Light, it’s sooo boring.” Shinji dragged the ‘so’ for no reason at all.

Light’s eyes widened. If Shinji was in a meeting for two hours, it could only mean one of two things. One: Shinji was telling the truth, and was indeed bored out of his mind, or two: Shinji was lying to him.

Light wasn’t sure what to believe. If Shinji was telling the truth, Light would have to question his sanity. Was the man he saw before an illusion? Was the man from earlier lying to him? And if Shinji was indeed lying to him, why? Why would he?

Ughh, so many questions and no definitive answer.

“….ight? Light?” He snapped out of his internal torture when he heard Shinji calling his name in a noticeably concerned tone.

“I’m here.” He whispered.

“Oh thank God. I hate it when people ignore me. Especially people who eat savory things in the morning, such as omelets. Unacceptable.” Light managed to smile, just a little bit. 

“That’s coming from the person who probably has more cavities in his mouth than every five year old child in Japan.” Shinji gasped.

“My teeth are in perfect condition, thank you very much!”

“For some reason I highly doubt that.” he chuckled at Shinji’s childlike behavior. Not many things managed to lighten Light’s mood but talking to Shinji, even for a few minutes, did just that. It was as if the other man had a mystical power over him that he wasn’t aware of.

“I decided. I want the pasta, so I can pour the sauce on your hair. I heard ladies hate it when stuff gets in their hair.” Shinji threw at him with a voice full of sarcasm and teasing.

“Are you really trying to offend me by calling me a lady? That is such a weak insult.” Light laughed wholeheartedly.

“It sounded better in my head!” Shinji hurried to defend himself. “And your hair is stupid.” His voice cracked comically.

The line went silent for exactly four seconds “No it’s not. It’s fucking perfect like the rest of you. Why has nature given you everything?” Shinji admitted defeated.

Light’s heart softened when he heard Shinji’s insult-praise, not because he didn’t know he looked good. No it wasn’t that. Just, it was Shinji the one telling him. The one who made Light weak in the knees with just one glance. With the impossibly big eyes and perfect arrogant smirk. He smiled.

“And yet, I want you. Just you.” He gently said. “I miss you already, my perfect little Shinji.” He didn't mean to say that.

Shinji wasn’t responding, so Light assumed he was having a staring contest with the floor again.

“I miss you too…” Shinji added with a tone of longing in his sweet voice. “You make me sound like a fucking teenager. I’m a grown ass man!” Shinji remarked. He could hear Shinji’s struggle.

“If it offers any consolation, I’m probably worse than you.” It sounded like a bad thing. But his heart felt feather light, soaring and pulsing passionately behind his ribcage. It was moments like this that convinced Light that it was truly a blessing to be alive.

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” Shinji quietly chuckled.

“So it is settled then. Tomorrow night at my place, 19:00 sharp. Don’t be late.” Light tried to shift the conversation to its original purpose. “Any other questions?”

“What should I wear? A suit?” Shinji asked, surprisingly genuine. Light figured that outside of work Shinji had no idea how to dress properly.

Something about Shinji screamed that the man was an introverted loner, living entirely in a world of his own. But Light wanted to be a part of that world, erasing Shinji’s loneliness like it never existed. A future where neither of them felt lonely anymore. Stray thoughts of him and Shinji drinking tea in the early hours of the morning, laughing together as they watched the sun rise, invaded his mind. He couldn’t help it if that was what his heart wanted.

“Anything is fine, just make sure it will be easy to take it off.” Light teased him.

“I’ll see what I can find. Light, I swear to God, if what you’ll be wearing isn’t going to be just the apron, I’m gonna be really, really disappointed.” Shinji responded teasingly as well. “Question number 3…” Shinji started. Number 3?

“Did you seriously write a list of questions?” Light said with a confused expression, clearly amused. Shinji found the most creative, ingenious and hilarious ways to cover his inexperience.

“Yes I did. And look at that! Question number three says: SHUT UP.”

“That’s not a question.” Light smirked widely.

“My list, my rules. Anyway…” Shinji sounded happy. That was the highlight of Light’s afternoon. “Should I bring anything over?”

“Is that question number 3? Oh wait, that was ‘Shut up’… I wonder if question 4 is also not a real question. How many question did my dear Shinji write?... ” Light began rambling, the sole purpose being to frustrate Shinji as much as possible.

“Uuughh, LIGHT!!!” Knowing the way Shinji’s eyes would light up, hearing his voice colored with passion when he was overwhelmed by emotion was worth every second of scolding he was going to get by him. He wanted Shinji to feel what he felt when they were together. It was the only way to remind himself that they were still human.

“I’m sorry.” Light smiled gently, holding the phone closer to his ear, as if it would bring Shinji closer to him. “No you don’t have to bring anything over. Just yourself.” It’s way more than enough. It’s all I need.

“Will do.” He could definitely hear the low, playfully frustrated snarl in Shinji’s voice. “Okay I have to ask you one final question. Light…..”

“Officer Yagami!”

The door of his office flew open, a coworker of his stormed furiously into the room holding a phone. Light glared at him. The man was sweating bullets, he looked out of breath. It must be important.

“Shinji, I have to go. I apologize.” And before he could receive an answer he ended the call.

“What is it?” He questioned.

“There has been a double murder. A few blocks from here.” The man’s voice was tired, scared. “Two people were found with their throats slit open inside a convenience store.” Light’s lungs stopped working, his eyes opened wide. It can’t be…

“One of the victims was the store’s owner. The other victim seemed brutally beat up before his death.” The man continued.

It was him. The man from before.

How? Why?

Who? Shinji?

Light was shocked beyond belief.

“We received the call from the ambulance crew that got there before us. It was reported you were the one calling them. We need everything you know about the case. You have to help us officer Yagami.” The man dragged his voice pleadingly. Light’s hand clenched tightly into fists.

“Notify squad 5. They should be located west from the crime scene. Tell them to head there immediately. Evacuate the area around the place. I’ll call the higher-ups.” Light got up from his seat abruptly, enraged that the killer was so close to him and he let him go away. That scum slipped right through his fingers. He was so fucking useless.

“I’m afraid you must follow us to the crime scene immediately. There is something you have to see.” The man looked terrified, his face deadly pale, like all his blood was sucked out of his body.

“See? See what?”

* * *

Light reached the scene in about five minutes. The entrance of the building was covered by bright yellow police ribbons that forbade entrance to anyone irrelevant with the incident. Light watched, repulsed, as two medics dragged one of the victims inside the ambulance. The putrid smell of iron filled the atmosphere, rivers of red were flowing on the pavement making all kinds of shapes.

“Officer Yagami!” A woman dressed in a blue plastic bodysuit called his name. She had also on thick plastic gloves and a breathing mask covered her face. Light recognized who she was, as he knew her well enough from other cases. She was a doctor, the head of the forensic team.

“Doctor.” He acknowledged. Light searched around for the bodysuits. He needed to wear one too if he was going inside. He found the torn cardboard box in the back of one of the police cars there. He started putting the special equipment on hurriedly and approached the woman again.

“What is the situation?”

“Two bodies, slit throats. Estimated time of death 15.50-16.00. The wounds are very fresh. No fingerprints have been found, thus far, in the scene. We almost have zero evidence.” She informed Light concisely.

One piece of information caught his full attention for a moment.

_Estimated time of death 15.50-16.00._

The realization hit Light in the face harshly.

It wasn’t Shinji.

Shinji was on the phone with him.

He was telling the truth.

It wasn’t him.

But if it wasn’t him…Then who did the man see?

“Doctor, you said almost zero evidence.” Light noticed, trying to keep his voice and breath steady.

“That is correct.” The woman answered. She was clearly uncomfortable bringing the subject up.

“Almost. Why almost?” The word bugged Light. He needed to know.

“Yagami-san. You are not going to like this.”

“Show me.”

Light, finally suited up, followed the woman inside, ducking under the ribbons.

The place was an utter mess. The foul scent of blood was even worse inside. Products lay messily on the floor. Some broken, some torn apart. Their spilled contents were mixed with the large pool of fresh blood in front of the cash register. Light felt chills running down his spine.

The woman approached the cash register. She waved at Light to follow.

Each step he took towards the counter felt like the prelude of something horrible.

Light got close enough and then he saw it then.

A horrified expression formed on his face.

There was something written with blood on there.

‘死の月’¹

“Moon of death.” The woman stated the obvious.

“They have already chosen a name. If, god forbid, we are dealing with a serial killer this is probably going to be their signature.” She sighed.

Light was dead silent. It couldn’t be a coincidence. That was…

“I’m afraid we might be against a deranged person Yagami-san. Moon of death? This person is definitely not sane.”

It wasn’t the moon.

Light knew what that Kanji was.

It wasn’t the fucking moon.

His name.

What the fuck was going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much happening in this chapter, I know.  
> Next one will be the dinner. Hopefully I can make it up to you guys. Your thoughts on this one? 
> 
> ¹死の月-Shi no tsuki, if someone wants to know how it is pronounced.


	5. Birthday Shrimps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji visits Light for the 'courting event' and everything is wonderful until it is not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I really tried to hold back my fluff-starved self from word vomiting all over the chapter. I failed. Here it is. Also it's 4:40 a.m. so you know what that means... Shameless me took over.

Light spent the entire evening searching for evidence about the murders. He found nothing. No witnesses were available, no murder weapon found around the scene. It was like the murderer had vanished off the face of the earth.

But Light had deducted something he deemed to be extremely important.

The cameras of the store were deactivated minutes before the murders had occurred. The subject fled the scene just after the deed was done and no one had seen them do it.

It would be impossible for one person to do it so effectively on their own; execute the murders and deactivating the cameras in tandem.

It was crystal clear to Light.

The murderer had company.

At least one more person was in it with him.

That made things even more complicated and Light wanted desperately a break from it all. The world was so rotten, filled to the brim with scums like them. Detestable, filthy, inexcusable criminals. If only he could erase their existence from this earth. Judge them and punish them fairly, like a God would do.

But Light was anything but a God. A mere mortal, who was doomed to watch people like them steal hopes, dreams, smiles and lives of others. His head was buzzing and pulsing painfully.

Light went home that night with a major headache. He had a quick shower, drank some hot chocolate and went straight to bed. He slept like the dead.

Jesus Christ, talk about a demanding day at work.

At least I’ll see Shinji tomorrow, was Light’s last thought before drifting off to a much needed slumber. The memory of Shinji’s smile gave him comfort, helping him forget, just for a while, how much of a failure he was at his job.

It was going to be a long fucking week.

* * *

The apartment was filled with the delicious scent of freshly chopped basil, sautéed garlic and onion. Light had the pot on low heat, occasionally stirring the pasta so that they wouldn’t stick together. He had washed and peeled the shrimps deftly, leaving them in a small bowl on the counter so that he could add them when the time came.

Everything was going great, but that was to be expected of Light. All he needed to do in order to learn and execute perfectly a new recipe was to read it once. It was a talent of his he was especially proud of.

When the spaghetti were done, Light turned off the stove and started working on the sauce. The chopped onion and garlic had already taken a slightly golden-brown color in the saucepan, the smell they emitted was hedonic. One of Light’s favorite cooking tips was: always sauté your ingredients with olive oil. So he made sure to buy the best one on the market he went to that morning.

Shopping food was always incredibly fun for Light, for he could judge and pick every product himself, in order to create his favorite recipes at home. Light wasn’t a man that craved many luxuries, but his kitchen would be filled with top-tier, professional chef equipment and his fridge was always fully decorated with a colorful array of ingredients of the best quality. 

He chose to dress the pasta with a tomato based sauce, mixed with garlic, minced basil, freshly ground pepper and fresh shrimps from the seafood market. Light picked every single tomato carefully, so that they were sufficiently ripe and just the right amount of juicy. He never got pre-made sauces from the sauces’ rack at the supermarket. He found it insulting.

Just before he would start grating the tomatoes, he searched around the kitchen to locate his apron. Yes, he indeed had an apron and wore it regularly in the kitchen. It’s a known fact tomato juice isn’t exactly kind to clothes, and Light, being the pristine, excellent cook he was, made sure to cover his own clothing when working with them.

He fixed the apron around his waist and went back to the counter, picking a multipurpose grater on his way there. Every tomato shined, bright red, with small water droplets adorning its circumference. It took exactly six minutes to grate them in a thick, delicious paste, and with that Light had everything he needed to finish his dish.

He put the shrimps and the tomato paste in the saucepan, added some cinnamon and waited for the mixture to simmer around. Light was ready to sprinkle some salt over the sauce, just for a final touch of flavor, when the doorbell rang. Light raised his head when he heard the sound, the digital clock on the counter said it was 18:59.

That punctual bastard. Light smiled.

He wiped his hands on a kitchen towel and walked towards the door, not even bothering to remove the apron.

When the door was opened, Light came face to face with the lovely sight of Shinji standing awkwardly in his doorway, back slightly hunched while he was watching his phone.

“In three…two…one.” Shinji muttered to himself and then the phone vibrated, its screen showing with giant numbers the time 19:00. Shinji let a small smile grace his lips, his eyes crinkling victoriously. “Right on time. Not bad, right Light?”

Light was tempted to slam the door in his face and let him have his nonsensical victory on the welcome mat. Why must everything about you be so weird but captivating at the same time? Have some mercy on my poor heart. Light mirrored Shinji’s smile, admiring the absolute dork waving a celebratory fist in the air.

And then Light saw what Shinji was wearing. Oh my god.

For a top piece, Shinji chose to wear a pristine, bright white shirt, neatly ironed and folded at all the right places. No jacket, no tie, casual enough for a date and perfectly suiting his frame. It made it look like he had made an actual effort to dress nicely.

But then… The bottom part. Dear God…

He had sweatpants on. Dark gray sweatpants, a loose bow tied with its white strings, hanging. This man had worn a dress shirt with sweatpants. Why did it not surprise Light?

He sighed. Shinji was hopeless when it came to style. It meant that Light would have to endure this ridiculous attire the entirety of the evening.

But it also meant that Light could drag him out in a shopping spree and buy him whatever he wanted. Soon…Light resisted smirking evilly.

“Are you done yet? Great.” Light watched Shinji smirk, entirely too satisfied with himself and his predicting abilities. “How did you know I was going to answer the door immediately anyway?” Light challenged, but clearly couldn’t wipe Shinji’s victory face off of him.

“You wouldn’t leave me waiting in the doorway, now would you?” He asked Light sweetly, honey dripping from his lips.

“If I knew what you were wearing, believe me, I would.”

“What’s wrong with my clothes?” _Everything_.

Shinji sounded genuinely confused, as if he truly believed himself to be dressed to perfection. He looked down, inspecting himself, trying to find the flaw.

“...Just why?” Light eyed him up and down.

“Comfy enough, and elegant all in one. I am nailing this courting event!” Shinji remarked full of pride.

“Yeah, you surely are.” Light wanted to bang his head on a wall, just so he could forget he ever saw this dreadful combination of clothes on a person.

“Shut up apron boy.” Shinji’s words held no malice. He laughed at Light’s apron, Light laughed at Shinji’s sweatpants, and Light fell for him all over again.

“Now, how the fuck do you make this thing stop?” Shinji pointed on his phone, which was still vibrating rhythmically in his hand. “I’ve unfortunately lost the other one and this one is a pain in the ass.”

“Where did you lose it?”

“If I knew where, it wouldn’t have been lost, Light.” Shinji smirked at him.

“Fair enough.” Light meant to help him remember where he last saw it, but didn’t correct himself because it was way funnier this way. “Here, come inside…” He moved away from the door. “…and give me that.” Shinji shoved the phone on Light’s chest and walked inside with ease.

He passed right next to Light in his way inside, and Light caught a small whiff of his cologne. The cologne mixed perfectly with his already sweet natural scent. He smelled divine.

“At least you picked a nice cologne. I suppose I can forgive you for the sweatpants.” Light handed him his phone after deactivating the alarm. “What is it?” Would Shinji even know the name of it? If he had no idea about fashion, there is no way he would know about perfumes and colognes, right?

“Chanel Grand Extrait no.5. That is what is said on the box.” Shinji replied nonchalantly.

Light choked on his spit. That cologne costed nearly 230,000 yen. It was a limited edition luxury product only the elite could afford, and was sold out immediately. How did Shinji get his hands on that?

“I didn’t think you’d know about colognes.” _And have such an expensive taste at them_. Light’s eyes widened even further.

“I don’t.” Shinji laughed at Light’s bashfulness. “L got it for me. I asked him to find me something that smells nice, he contacted the brand and here I am. Wearing it…” Wow, Light thought. Shinji’s influence over L was astounding.

Shinji realized that maybe he had said a bit much, so he went quiet for a few seconds. Light was still speechless.

“Uhh, well, it’s really nothing. It’s like every other cologne. I didn’t overdo it, right?” Was he actually asking Light for confirmation? He really had no idea.

“It’s fine. I’m just surprised you actually bought something like that.” Light smiled soothingly at him, as Shinji started freaking out over L’s choice of cologne. Shinji sighed gently and scratched his head.

“Why, how much is it worth?” Shinji inquired. Light supposed that L hid the price from Shinji so that he could gift him the cologne. Perhaps L was just a really nice, and ridiculously rich, guy.

“It doesn’t really matter anyway. You are great with or without it.” Light meant for his comment to be sweet, as it was the truth, but Shinji ignored it and opened his phone to search for it.

Light watched amused, as Shinji struggled to find the search engine in the swarm of applications on the menu of his new phone. ‘Aha’ he exclaimed quietly when he finally found it. After half a minute searching on the website for ‘Chanel Grand Extrait no.5’ Shinji stared, clearly unimpressed, at the screen. He looked up at Light.

“I fail to see anything ‘ _Grand’_ about it except its price.” He said with a dead pan voice.

Light laughed impulsively. He stepped closer to Shinji and placed his hand gently under his chin, lifting it slowly and pressed an affectionate peck at the other’s lips. He pulled back just to see Shinji eyeing him, questioning quietly the reason of the kiss. Light understood him.

“No reason. Just felt like it.” He reached up and ruffled Shinji’s feathery hair playfully.

“So if I wear this again will you be feeling like kissing me more often? Because if that’s the case I’ll pour the whole bottle on me next time.” Shinji asked, eyes wide and hopeful.

Light chuckled and started heading for the kitchen. It was almost time to plate the dishes.

Shinji stumbled behind him, seemingly still slightly drunk from the sudden display of affection from Light. Light reached the kitchen and finally added that tiny pinch of salt the sauce needed. He turned off the stove and everything was ready.

Shinji stopped a couple of steps from him, leaning on a counter trying to look casual and failing miserably because of that damned dress shirt and the sweatpants.

“I don’t know what that is…” Shinji pointed at the food Light had prepared.”…but is smells like heaven.” He dragged his voice for emphasis.

“See? I told you I was good at it.”

Light started plating the dishes carefully. He put a layer of, the already cooked to perfection, spaghetti on the bottom of both his and Shinji’s bowls. He delicately added the tomato sauce in each bowl, steam rising from the freshly prepared mixture. Light, with slow and precise movements, stirred the ingredients in each bowl, so that the pasta got fully coated with the rich sauce and the shrimps were evenly distributed. And, for the finishing touch, he put just a bit of chopped basil leaves on the top of their plates. Just to make things fancy.

Shinji was watching wide eyed the entire process, following Light’s movements carefully and biting his thumb while doing so. Light found the way he was concentrated completely adorable and turned to smile at him, gesturing towards the bowls and slowly removing his apron.

“I couldn’t decide between pasta and seafood, so I made them both in one dish.” He grasped the bowls with extreme caution from the edges, as he was painfully aware that tomato sauce and clothes were a horrible combo, and set them gently on the table, just a few steps behind him. The table was decorated simply, just a beige tablecloth, a vase containing a single rose that Light had cut from the garden in front of his apartment complex, two crystal wine glasses and the wine bottle, right in the middle of the table.

“Color me impressed Light.” Shinji remarked from his position on the counter. “You would make an excellent housewife.” If you said the word I’d cook for you every day, Light thought hoping to live and see a day like that. He sat on his place at the table and locked eyes with Shinji, who was still unmoved from his place.

“I don’t believe you’ll leave me eat alone, my dear Shinji?” Light tried to bat his eyelids invitingly at Shinji, even though he knew he probably looked very silly in the process. But apparently it had worked on Shinji because he saw the pale man visibly shudder and move from the counter towards the table.

This time Shinji sat across the table, just opposite of Light, which he found delightful, as he could watch his beautiful face as they enjoyed their food. He waited for Shinji to have the first bite of his culinary masterpiece, smiling like a madman.

Shinji forked a shrimp wrapped in some pasta and brought it to his lips. Absolute satisfaction coursed through Light’s body as he saw Shinji’s dark eyes nearly rolling in the back of his head, as he let out a tiny moan while tasting the shrimp.

“Ooo mah gahd.” Shinji made an effort to swallow his food. “These are so good Light! I’ll hire you as my personal chef. With benefits. You’ll be my chef with benefits!” Shinji exclaimed, as if it was the most reasonable thing ever. Light huffed a laugher, already feeling pure happiness taking over his body.

“Is this the first time you’ve had shrimps?” Light felt that his reaction was definitely worth investigating.

“No, but other dishes I’ve had sucked in comparison to this. This right here...” He pointed his fork towards his bowl “…is heaven. In England I didn’t have seafood often. I’m not sure why though. English people have other tastes in food I guess.”

“That’s a shame.” Light rested his chin on the back of his right hand, simply relishing Shinji’s bright eyes as he ate another bite from his food. Light began eating his own share of pasta. It was indeed good. He should cook more often, especially when that meant Shinji would come over to taste it.

“It is.” Shinji agreed, nodding his head fervently. “How do you even know how to cook shrimps? You are a police officer, not a master Chef.”

“My mom taught me. I always liked shrimps, it was one of my favorite foods, so my mom made me this dish on my birthdays.” Light recalled fondly as his mother served him his favorite food and kissed him affectionately on the cheek each time.

Those were the days where things were simpler, easier. He kind of missed them. But that’s how life is; you always regret not appreciating the days you thought were nothing special.

So Light set a goal to make each and every minute of his time with Shinji count, for no one knows what the future holds.

“Birthdays? You mean to tell me, you had shrimps and not cake. On your birthday.” Shinji addressed with a deadpan tone. “Why am I even talking to you?” He threw playfully his hands in the air. “Cakes are a gift from heaven.” He made a dreamy face. “How can you go through your birthday without having strawberry shortcake? What are you, a masochist?”

Light stared, amused.

“I take that you like strawberry shortcake.” That must have been the understatement of the year.

“No Light. I _love_ strawberry shortcake. Passionately.” It shouldn’t be a surprise, considering Shinji’s unbearable sweet tooth, but that defensive stance over strawberry shortcake was phenomenal.

“So what is the kind of cake you had on your birthday then? Strawberry shortcake?” Light was strangely curious to find out if Shinji drowned himself in cake on his birthdays.

“I didn’t have any.” Was Shinji’s simple answer. Light felt strange. It wasn’t the answer he had been seeking to hear.

“Why is that?” He probed gently.

“Don’t get me wrong Light. I love cake, and I will always love it.” Shinji played with his food using his fork. “But the truth is, I don’t like celebrating my birthday.”

“How can you love cake and not birthdays?” Light whispered defeated. A cold unfamiliar felling shot through his chest, freezing his heart and creating an uncofomfortable lump in his throat.

“Ah, just some bad memories, I suppose.” Shinji looked Light straight in the eye, pleading quietly for him not to dig any deeper. It hurt seeing him suffering quietly like that. Light regretted bringing the subject up, even though he couldn’t have known from before the sensitivity of it.

So Light ended it at that. Shinji resumed eating his food in silence.

Then he remembered the wine. That would be his savior. Light reached for the wine he had placed on the table before he had started cooking. It was a frizzy rose wine, sweetened, just how Light liked. He assumed Shinji would appreciate his choice.

He popped the cork off the bottle with an audible, and unreasonably loud ‘pop’.

So loud in fact, Shinji, startled, dropped the shrimp that was on his fork. And then Light witnessed, what he had thought to be, one of the greatest disasters in fashion take place; the shrimp, a tomato-basil sauce covered shrimp, landed right on Shinji’s snow white dress shirt.

Both of them watched speechless as the shrimp slid down Shinji’s chest, leaving a painfully visible trail of red behind, and landed gracefully on the floor. They looked at each other, and began laughing together at this unfortunate mess.

“That’s why you wear aprons in the kitchen.” Light remarked between small fits of laughter. “You are really clumsy.” Light set the newly opened wine on the table, not bothering to serve it because the hilarity of the current situation was far too much for Light to ignore.

“It seem so.” Shinji agreed, staring at the abstract art of red the shrimp had left behind on his shirt. “I’ve been working with the sound of gunshots in the background for some years. You can expect me to be somewhat ‘alert’ on loud noises.” Shinji made an attempt to reason himself out of his embarrassment. It brought a joyful, bright smile to his lips, and Light appreciated that greatly.

“I’m a cop, I do it too. I don’t see any stains on my shirt.” He responded, still laughing. Light sat back to his chair and went for a bite of his food, leaning close to the bowl and carefully sucking some pasta between his lips, to divert his attention from Shinji’s stained shirt.

He looked up.

Shinji had unbuttoned his shirt fully and started removing it swiftly, baring his toned chest at poor Light.

Light choked on his pasta and while doing so, he hit his bowl with his fork holding hand, thus spilling the entire content of the plate on himself.

Light watched with dread as his own shirt was now painted, almost entirely, red and pasta clung from its buttons. He got up with lightning speed when the pasta hit his crotch, because ow. Hot food shouldn’t go near there.

On the other side of the table Shinji nearly died while laughing, folding himself and holding his stomach. Seeing Light in distress seemed to be the trigger.

Light let a barely audible whine of frustration while he stared at the mess he had made, not only on his precious shirt, but also his floor.

“Who’s the clumsy now?” Shinji wheezed joyfully, wiping the tears that filled his eyes.

“Very funny.” Light said, unamused. “Laugh all you want. At least I’m not the one with sweatpants on.”

Shinji, still laughing pointed at Light’s crotch, which was also an unfortunate mess. “At least, the crotch of my sweatpants is clean. Yours looks like something Picasso would paint.”

Light groaned, arms wide open, unintentionally displaying the stains on his clothes to Shinji.

“You know, I can help you clean that up.” Shinji offered when he stopped laughing, still standing with his shirt wide open, eying Light intensely. It didn’t sound that bad.

He walked towards Shinji. Shinji waited with a baited breath for Light to reach him. Light could feel lust surrounding the air around him, an intense feeling of want flooding his mind and body. He stood in front of Shinji, smiled wickedly and with his index finger traced the small tomato stain left on Shinji’s uncovered chest.

“Only if you let me clean _that_ up.” Shinji’s dark eyes widened, his nostrils flared and Light felt his chest vibrate when he took in an unstable breath.

Shinji, suave, reached towards Light’s tomato stained chest just to rub it teasingly, locking eyes with him and moving his body forwards.

“I think we have a deal.” Shinji smiled seductively. Light’s mind came up with something sinister, just to tease up Shinji a bit, before giving him what they both wanted.

“Good.” He smiled all innocent and childlike. “I think I need to have a bath. It won’t take long.” He stepped away from Shinji and relished the vision of his perfect face fall gracefully.

Shinji stared with an expression that screamed ‘you can’t be serious’ and watched with his mouth slightly open in disbelief, as Light walked away, reaching the stairs.

Light decided that he had tortured enough his poor Shinji and paused, turning to flash a teasing grin at him.

“What? Won’t you be joining me?” He asked, as if it was already implied before.

“I…” Shinji swallowed. “I did not think I was invited to your cleaning ritual.” _Cleaning ritual_. Light’s mind took a moment to appreciate the new addition to Shinji’s ridiculous vocabulary before he reached with his left arm towards Shinji invitingly.

“Oh, you are always invited to whatever ‘ritual’ I perform.” Light informatively said.

“Will we be using our ‘magic wands’ during this particular ritual?” Shinji asked with a lustful expression on his face.

“You can bet that we will.” He grinned evilly. “Now, will you come here or should I cast a magic spell over you to do so?”

“You’ve already done that. I’m at your mercy.” Shinji responded finally moving from his place.

Light smiled satisfied with himself, seeing Shinji practically fly in his direction, grasping his offered hand and dragging Light towards his own bathroom. They got up the stairs in a hurry and Light could barely manage to slam the door behind him before Shinji’s dexterous fingers attacked his belt buckle.

“….Wait a moment.” Light caught Shinji’s wrist.

“For fucks sake, you piece of….” Shinji started muttering profanities under his breath and Light pressed a soothing kiss between his furrowed eyebrows.

“I just need turn the faucet of the bath on. That’s what we’re here for after all.” Light did just that, letting the water flow steadily into his bathtub. He turned towards Shinji and started unbuttoning his own sticky shirt so that he could throw that monstrosity somewhere far from him.

Shinji quickly got the message and threw his own Shirt on the floor, his shoes following it. Now, naked from the waist up he marched with determination towards Light, grabbed his face with force and took Light’s breath away, kissing him endlessly. Light couldn’t understand how each and every time, Shinji’s lips tasted sweeter, fitted even more perfectly against his own

Their lips were connected tightly and their hearts beating in tandem for what felt like a couple of seconds, but must have been at least a few minutes. Light noticed how the bathtub was already full, and blindly reached with his hand to turn the water off. Shinji never once let him out of his firm grasp he had on his face, wanting and inviting Light to drown in their kiss again. Light was captivated.

Shinji stole one more kiss from Light, leaving him panting and needy for more, and started licking and sucking his way down Light’s heaving chest. He followed the trail the sauce had left behind on Light’s body, licking fervently the skin under it. Light shuddered when Shinji, in his determination to follow the tasty path, sucked gently on Light’s left nipple.

Then Shinji kneeled elegantly in front of him, his fingers playing with the hem of Light’s trousers and his piercing black eyes looking up at Light through thick black lashes. Light swore that even if Shinji were to stab him this very moment, he would go a happy man. He could rot in hell for the rest of eternity, but at least he got to taste a piece of heaven in Shinji’s form.

Light ran his right hand through Shinji’s thick locks, encouraging him to continue whatever he was planning to do. Light could only hope that Shinji’s clever mouth would do him the favor and sent him on a high trip of pleasure again.

Shinji blinked sweetly up at him and, just for a moment, Light saw the pure innocence and inexperience on Shinji’s delicate features. But then the angel in front of him became the devil incarnate, and with a lustful groan he undid Light’s zipper and threw his belt away, effectively stripping him and leaving him only in his boxer briefs.

A hunger, so very intense, graced Shinji’s face, as the absolutely sinful man started nipping on Light’s clothed bulge making sure to watch Light’s reaction to every single bite and suckle. Light bit his lower lip, seeming unable to contain the lust and absolute want he felt toward the other man. He felt his fingers twitching in Shinji’s soft hair, as he Shinji lowered his briefs and Light’s already erect penis sprang forward in anticipation.

Shinji eyed Light’s erection as if it was the most delicious thing in the world and pressed a wet kiss at his flushed tip. Shinji blew gently on the wetness he had left behind, and Light shivered in delight. Light felt like he could pass out any second now.

“Light…” Shinji purred. “Your wand is leaking. Whatever shall I do?” He ran a pale finger along Light’s erection and made small circles through the pre-cum that shined on the very tip. He moved his finger away, watching the wet string of fluid follow after it.

 _You might be the most beautiful sin I’ve ever committed, but fuck you and your torturous jokes_. Light nearly growled. Shinji smiled, running his pink tongue over his lips.

“Pardon my French, but fucking _Bon Appétit_.” In one swift motion, Shinji engulfed Light’s member in his hot, waiting mouth swallowing it down his throat with zero hesitation. Light let out the most embarrassing moan and titled his head back. The man had no gag reflex.

Shinji, totally satisfied with the amount of noise Light was making, hummed a low sound of approval and Light felt its jolt throughout his entire body. Shinji’s sinful little tongue danced in circles around Light, and he sucked with such fervency, like it was the best thing he ever tasted.

He bobbed his head up and down rhythmically, making sure to give special attention to Light’s sensitive tip and enjoying thoroughly his work. Light managed to look down at Shinji, staring with glazed eyes, as the little devil sucked his soul out of his dick. Pleasure felt better when it was Shinji the one offering it to him. Light was on the brink of falling.

Shinji sensed Light’s thighs quivering, heard his breath catching in his throat and watched his abdomen clenching. He knew exactly what to do. Shinji grabbed Light’s hips and drove him roughly into his mouth, lodging his hot length inside his throat once more, but this time he hollowed his cheeks instantly. Saliva was dripping sinfully around Shinji’s mouth and Shinji opened his dark eyes just to look straight in Light’s own.

Light couldn’t help himself. The sight of his reflection in Shinji’s piercing black eyes sent him over the edge. He clutched tightly his fingers on Shinji’s head and let himself fall.

Shinji remained where he was, gently swallowing around Light and easing his suck, so he could give Light time to recover. Light would definitely recover from the magnificent fall of his orgasm, but he wouldn’t recover from falling for Shinji. The intensity of what Light felt was unprecedented, he couldn’t quite point a finger to what that feeling was. He gently stroked Shinji’s chin, affection surging through him all at once.

The kneeling man finally let Light’s member fall from his talented mouth, stroking him lightly with his hand.

“I’m definitely adding your dick in my list of favorite sweets.” Shinji smiled, wiping carefully some of Light’s cum from the corner of his mouth. What a fucking perfect vision he was, Light wanted to snap a picture of him, but their phones were left downstairs in their rush to get to the bathroom.

Light grabbed Shinji from his biceps and helped him to his feet. Shinji followed giggling. He didn’t waste any time and instantly pressed Shinji’s body close to him, attacking his lips fervently. He wanted to feel everything all at once; Shinji against him, the taste of his luscious lips and the inevitable flutter of his heart when their lips finally connected.

“For someone who just had his dick sucked, you sure are eager.” Shinji grinned at the haze that covered Light’s caramel eyes. Light grabbed his hips and forcefully dragged them to collide with his, feeling Shinji’s erection twitch through his terrible sweatpants. Shinji groaned lowly.

“Yeah, sure. I’m the one who’s eager.” He responded. His fingers were following Shinji’s toned chest, dipping in the V of his hipline and grappling themselves on the strings of the sweatpants, undoing the bow swiftly.

“You know, I’m kind of glad you chose to wear those.” Light groped purposely Shinji’s erection through the soft fabric of the sweatpants

“So you don’t hate them now?” Shinji asked teasingly, wrapping his arms around Light’s midriff.

“Oh, I fucking despise them. I would enjoy myself immensely watching them burn.” Shinji drowned a laughter on Light’s throat. “The only thing good about them is that I get to do this.” Light ripped the ugly piece of clothing off of Shinji with a single fluid motion and let it fall down on the floor between their feet. His needy erection sprung free and Light, after an appreciative glare at the beauty in his arms, couldn’t help but notice the lack of underwear.

“My, my. It seems that Shinji-san had some ulterior motives for tonight.” He teased the man, getting ahold of his hot, throbbing member and giving it a slight tug. Shinji jerked slightly forward, seeking Light’s touch, while suckling the side of his neck gently.

“I mentioned the word dick, like, five times yesterday. I thought my motives were clear enough.” It was Light’s turn to laugh. He pulled away from their awkward embrace, already missing its heat, and stepped in the water of the bathtub waiting for Shinji to join him.

“Light…” Shinji started, unsure. “How can we do, you know what, in there?”

“We won’t” Light informed him with a soft smile. He saw Shinji staring down at his own dick, and then at Light questioningly.

“Then what am I supposed to do with this.” He wiggled his hips a bit, making his erection bob slightly. Light found the sight funny, even if Shinji had a tortured expression on his face.

“The night is still young dear. We can do that too later, I promise.” He soothed the worry off of Shinji’s face. “I have other plans for you now.” he reached for Shinji’s wrist, tugging it gently, urging him to follow him in the bathtub. “Trust me.”

Shinji did just that. He stepped out of his sweatpants and put a foot in the lukewarm water, following Light’s own movement. Light felt a wave of happiness washing over him and he was so thrilled to show Shinji the pleasure he had generously received from him.

He sat in the water, knees above the surface and lead Shinji to seat between his legs, back flush against his chest and Shinji’s head rested on his left clavicle. He felt Shinji relax on him, starting to let himself go, leaning on Light’s chest like it was the comfort of his own bed. Light tilted his lover’s head towards his own, just to steal a sweet brief kiss from his lips. Shinji broke the kiss smiling.

“It’s nice, but how will it solve my problem?” He took gently one of Light’s hands and led it towards his neglected erection. Light smiled knowingly, placing his chin on top of Shinji’s shoulder.

“Patience.” He nibbled on Shinji’s exposed earlobe, just enough to make Shinji move impatiently against his body. Light rubbed his nose affectionately on Shinji’s temple and with his free hand grabbed the bubble bath liquid, which smelled like vanilla and cherry blossoms, and squirted a generous amount of it in the water above them.

Shinji watched with peaked interest as Light made it foam with coordinated hand motions. When Light deemed that the bubbles were enough, he reached and grasped Shinji’s erect member underneath the soapy water, making sure that Shinji was watching.

He began sliding his hand up and down, in a slow, calculated manner. Shinji hissed. Light gave his pretty head a tiny kiss and turned to whisper in his ear in a low sultry voice.

“Have you ever done this before?”

“Nghh…” Shinji moved his hips against Light’s hand “...No. I don’t think I have.”

“Good.”

Light sped up his motions, twisting and turning his wrist in ways he was absolutely certain felt good. The subtle slipperiness that the bubbly water provided aided his efforts, making Shinji mewl and moan his name in the process.

“Ah.. Light…it feels..” Shinji tried, with broken from pleasure words, to express how he felt underneath Light’s sinful touch.

“Nice?” Light asked, turning to kiss Shinji’s throat.

“Perfect.” Shinji responded and he let a long moan, arching his back over the surface of the water after Light pinched and tugged lightly the underside of his tip. Light watched mesmerized as Shinji fell apart in pieces in his skillful arms.

Don’t get him wrong, Light loved receiving pleasure, but watching Shinji writhe and turn like that over him, satisfied Light much more greatly than any blowjob could ever do. So Light, continuing the brilliant wrecking of Shinji that he had started, with his other hand searched for Shinji’s sensitive nipple, just to pinch it between his fingers. And Shinji lost it. He buckled his hips wildly in Light’s hold, his neck arching backwards, trying to find Light’s lips through foggy eyes.

“Mhh.. Light.” Shinji complained, moaning, when he couldn’t find what he was searching for. And Light caved in so sweetly. He turned to catch Shinji’s lips against his teeth, tugging them slightly, just enough to make Shinji want more and pant wantonly against his lips.

And when Shinji thought that Light was going to leave, Light attacked ferociously, devouring every single sound that dared to escape his lover’s lips. Like hell I’d leave you, Light lovingly thought.

Shinji came right when Light’s eager tongue entered his hot mouth, tasting the mess they had made there previously. Light relished every tiny twitch and buckle of Shinji’s body, wanting nothing more than to beg him to stay with him forever. But Light’s mind was drunk and heavy with lust and passion. He shouldn’t make such suggestions at times like this. Even if his heart was begging him to cling to this amazing man in his arms, and hold him close to him, never wanting to let go.

Shinji’s breath calmed down, after a couple of seconds of resting his head on the crook of Light’s neck. Light played with the tips of Shinji’s dark, half-wet hair and watched him closely as he came down from his high. He took one of Shinji’s hands, intertwined their fingers together and rested their joined limbs on top of Shinji’s pale chest, claiming ownership over his erratically beating heart and surrendering his own to him.

They remained unmoving, quiet, for they could shatter this beautiful fragile moment. They held each other, in Light’s bathtub, perfectly content in this heavenly afterglow, counting the seconds away. Shinji decided to break the silence.

“Trusting you was a great idea. One of my best decisions, in fact.” Did Shinji mean the hand job? The sex? The food? Their meeting? Light couldn’t know for sure. But it didn’t matter because he, as well, was grateful for everything Shinji brought to his life.

“I don’t know how it felt for you, but watching you was breathtaking.” Light pressed a gentle kiss on Shinji’s sweaty forehead.

“Do I make a good spectacle?” Shinji laughed slightly.

“The very best. In fact, I can’t stop myself from wanting to stay here, just to watch you laying in my arms.” It was the simple truth.

“That’s funny because I too don’t want to leave.” Shinji closed his eyelids and let the calm of the atmosphere engulf them, in this quiet room. That went on for just a few seconds.

“I want to take you to Paris and London.” Shinji suddenly said.

“Where did that come from?” Light was curious.

“Nowhere. I just want to go with you.” Shinji informed him naturally.

“Let me guess.” Light was still playing with Shinji’s hair and faked a ‘eureka’ expression. “So that we can have Crème Brule under the Eiffel tower?”

“I was going to say, to have sex in Eiffel tower’s elevator, but Crème Brule sounds nice too.” Light snorted.

“We’ve just done that. How can you still be thirsty for more?”

“I’m always thirsty for more. I don’t think I’ll ever stop wanting you. Like, have you seen yourself in a mirror? You look like a god.” Shinji complained, playfully smacking Light’s sternum with his free hand.

“You’re being unfair to yourself my beautiful Shinji. You look like an angel. Have you seen yourself asleep?” Light dreamily recalled the sight of waking up next to Shinji.

“Then, it’s unfortunate that I have to remain awake for the rest of the day, looking like a zombie.” Shinji remarked thoughtfully. Who fed you those lies? How can I make you see what I see? Light wanted to scream.

“You’re fucking gorgeous. Never believe otherwise.” He settled for a soft, gentle kiss on Shinji’s lips. Shinji lowered his eyes, embarrassed and Light felt him smile against his neck.

“We can go on my birthday.” Light suddenly exclaimed like he had the brightest idea ever.

“Hmm?” Light hummed on his wet skin.

“To Paris!” He added, determined to fulfill Shinji’s wish. “I usually take an entire week off, so we could go then.”

Shinji turned sharply, staring at Light with huge eyes that sparkled with excitement.

“When?”

“February 28th.” Light revealed to Shinji, already plotting and scheming ways to infiltrate the elevator on the Eiffel tower.

“Thank God it’s after Valentine’s day. Have you seen Paris on February 14th? It’s a nightmare of people sucking each other’s mouths off.” Shinji’s eye twitched, as if he was having war flashbacks.

“So you say we won’t be doing that?” Light teased.

“I’m saying that _sucking_ should take place in the bedroom, where it belongs.”

“Are you sure you’re still talking about kisses?” Light laughed when he saw Shinji hollowing his cheeks in order to demonstrate his words.

“No Light, I’m talking about blowjobs now. Pay attention.” He responded, blunt as ever in the most adorable manner. Light began stroking Shinji’s neck softly. He began to wonder.

“When is your birthday?” _so that I can drown you with kisses and presents_ , Light asked.

“October 31st.” Shinji replied.

“My dear Shinji…”Light began softly, knowing that he might be touching on something that wasn’t meant to be touched.

“…Why do you hate your birthday so much?” _because you shouldn’t. It was the day you were brought to life. So you could be in this moment with me._ Light wanted to reason with it because it seemed unfathomable to him that Shinji could have never been born. But he didn’t.

The room fell silent. Light felt Shinji tense up against him. Shinji didn’t move from Light’s embrace.

“It is stupid for someone like me to celebrate being alive.” Shinji began with a small, weak voice. “I have never met my parents. No one was there to celebrate it with me. No one to miss me when I am gone.” Light could feel the pain in Shinji’s words and stroked his back soothingly, not wanting to disrupt him. “That’s mostly the reason why I don’t like them.” _Mostly,_ so there was more, Light thought.

“Your grandfather?” Light asked gently.

“…He…died.” Shinji said.

“I’m sorry.”

_I’m sorry your parents weren’t there for you. I’m sorry you hated your birthdays because of that. I’m sorry your grandfather died. I’m sorry I didn’t meet you sooner so that I could replace all the pain in your eyes with joy._

Light felt sorry for a lot of things, but not for Shinji, for Shinji was strong. He was right here, in his arms, alive and breathing even when life wanted to convince him he wasn’t worth it.

_Fuck, I want to take it all away. Will you let me?_

“Don’t be.” Shinji tried to put on a wobbly smile. “It’s not like _you_ killed him.”

Light brought their joined hands to his lips and kissed the back of Shinji’s palm. It was the only thing he could offer. A silent promise of: _I’m going to be here for you._

Shinji glanced at Light, his eyes glossy, but his smile genuine. Light knew that Shinji understood him. He grasped Light’s jaw tenderly and gave him an innocent peck, their lips barely touching, as an appreciative response.

“Light?’” suddenly Shinji’s eyes were full of life again, as if his previous mood had disappeared behind the soap bubbles of the bathtub.

“Yeah?” Light offered a smile of his own back.

“Can we watch a movie?” He enthusiastically suggested.

“What kind of movie?” Like Light would deny him. Anything his heart desired Light would give it to him.

“Can we watch something about the mafia and with cops?”

“Why? Are you interested in how movies depict people like us?”

“No. I just want to make fun of the idiots who think they know how things work in our line of work. I love watching moronic characters getting killed in the middle of the movie.”

“Fair enough.” Light laughed delightfully.

“Light, believe when I say that I don’t want to leave this bathtub, but my fingers are pruning.” Shinji stuck a finger in front of Light’s face, waving it theatrically to prove his point.

“Fine. Which robe do you want? The plain or the fluffy one?”

“Oh, I’m definitely wearing the fluffy one.”

* * *

When they got downstairs in their bathrobes, Light had offered to serve the wine before dealing with the mess left on the floor by the pasta. Shinji, meanwhile, was drinking slowly the wine, pausing just to compliment Light’s cleaning skills and point at stains he accidentally left behind.

Half an hour later, Light and Shinji were comfortably lodged on Light’s couch, eating microwaved popcorn gleefully and sipping wine from tall wineglasses.

“The old man with the glasses is going to die first.” Shinji nudged his wineglass at said man on the screen. Light looked at him questioningly. “It’s always the father figures that pass away first.” He explained his reasoning. Light nodded.

A gunshot was heard in the movie, and the old man with the glasses was no more. Shinji got to his feet and said “I called it” triumphantly.

“I was right!” Shinji exclaimed, placing his wine glass on the coffee table.

“You are ridiculous. That’s what you are.” Light laughed and reached forwards to grab Shinji’s hips and guide him towards his lap.

“I might be ridiculous, but that guy was a moron.” He pointed a finger on the dead body showing on screen.

“And you know what I am? Horny. So get over here.”

Shinji let a joyful laughter fall from his lips and sat in Light’s lap, trying to find a comfortable position.

“Are you going to keep your promise from before mr.Yagami?” Shinji purred, sliding his fingers under the hem of Light’s robe and rubbing skillfully his inner thigh. Light wrapped his arms around Shinji’s lean waist and leaned in to steal a sneaky kiss from his lips.

“If you stop talking for a goddamned second, I might just do so.”

Shinji crashed their lips together, sucking and licking passionately wherever his lips could reach. Their tongues danced together in a futile battle of dominance, for both were at the mercy of the other. Things got steamy again, as they began grinding on each other on the couch while wildly making out.

Light was ready to pick Shinji up, throw him on the couch and fulfill his promise right then and there.

But then, they heard a phone ring. They broke the kiss to see which phone was responsible for ruining the mood.

It was Shinji’s.

“I told them not to bother me tonight.” Shinji groaned.

“It must be important then. Answer it.” He tucked some of Shinji’s wild hair behind his ear, urging him gently to answer the phone.

Shinji with a frustrated growl, dismounted himself off of Light and reached for his phone.

“What?” He answered sternly, positively pissed.

Light could hear the man on the other line speaking rapidly. He sounded stressed.

And then Light saw Shinji’s face contort with an emotion he had never seen before. Was it dread? Disappointment? Terror? Anger? All at once? All blood drained from Shinji’s face and made it look even paler than usual. Light just stared, afraid of what that conversation meant.

“When? When did that happen?” Shinji’s body froze, his feet stuck to the ground. He waited.

“Why the hell did no one tell me?” his voice sounded hoarse, disbelieving

“What do you mean she acted independently? Who the fuck gave her the permission?” A pause

“No…I get it. It was the right thing to do.” Shinji closed his eyes and let a long painful sigh escape his lips.

“For fuck’s sake Aiber.” He sounded defeated.

“Yes I’ll be there shortly. Don’t do anything stupid.” Shinji closed the phone and let it fall on the floor. He stared somewhere off in the distance, eyes dead and no expression on his face.

Light was immensely worried. Something was definitely off. It was fucking terrifying to see Shinji react like that.

“Shinji?” Light got up. “What’s wrong?”

Shinji snapped out of it and turned to look at Light, suddenly in a hurry.

“Light I’m so sorry but I have to go.” He picked the phone off the floor.

“What, now?” Light couldn’t believe it. What was going on?

“Yes, now.” He stepped closer, just for the tiniest amount of time.

He kissed Light longingly on the forehead. They locked eyes.

“I’m begging for your forgiveness, Light. Please don’t follow me.”

He went to protest, to grab Shinji and crush him to his body, but Shinji begged, weak.

“Please...”

And just like that Shinji left the apartment, leaving behind Light staring at the door and the sound of the awful movie playing in the background.

All Light could think was:

Why the hell did that kiss feel so final?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the cologne was there for me to make the joke (it exists by the way, and is one of the most expensive in the world), and yes Aiber shops for L. L dosn't care about money.  
> I had so much fun writing this chapter you don't even know  
> It's long because I wanted to atone myself for the pain that I'm about to cause to them. It only goes downhill from here.  
> Sincerely thank you to all of you kind people who read this and commented, cheering me on. It means a lot to me. I adore you all. <3  
> p.s. -i'll try and fix my mistakes later, because I think I'll fall asleep on the laptop right now.


	6. Dangerous Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light has a fight with his father. In a rush to find Shinji, he overlooks important details and that leads him in deep trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, who's ready for the suffering to begin? (I'm so sorry)  
> Also, my crazy boy Beyond and my girl Wedy are in this chapter!  
> WARNINGS!: Blood and violence. Attempted murder.

Five days.

It had been five days, since that night. When Shinji had abandoned Light in the middle of their night together and ran off like a wanted criminal. Light had many questions, and none had an answer. Who was Aiber, and why was Shinji so shocked after their conversation? Who was the ‘she’ he had heard Shinji mention on the phone?

Was Shinji okay? Was the one question that buzzed inside his head over and over again, for Light had been missing his presence since he had disappeared, without even saying goodbye.

He had tried calling Shinji’s number, the one he had saved on his phone from the day they had talked. No response. He had tried sending him messages. No response.

All his stupid phone did was to beep annoyingly in Light’s ear, painfully reminding him that the person who he yearned to hear was not available.

The very next morning of that first night, Light had tried to make an omelet for breakfast. It didn’t taste the same. He added all the ingredients in the right order, followed the steps carefully, but even then, the omelet left an ashy, horrible taste in Light’s mouth.

So, with a heavy heart, Light woke up every day on exactly 9:00 p.m. He ate pancakes for breakfast, fully drenched in honey, for Light needed to drown his thoughts in something sweet, and drank black tea instead of coffee. He put on his uniform, and headed off to work. He got home early in the evenings, cooked whatever was in his fridge and went straight to his bed, reading a book until he fell asleep.

Light hated routines.

The same. Everything felt the fucking same again.

Dull, grey and so utterly boring.

Every single morning he wished he would wake up to stormy grey eyes and messy hair. Every single night he wanted to fall asleep cradling a warm body in his arms. But Shinji was gone, taking with him Light’s remaining joy.

Light had even visited the club.

The fourth night of Shinji’s mysterious absence, Light was stuffing his mouth with potato chips while draping himself on his couch, like a slob, and didn’t even remember what TV show was playing on the stupid box. He felt loneliness creeping up his body, the room cold and empty.

And so his non-caring attitude had flown right out of the window as he got up, determined to locate Shinji no matter what.

He didn’t find him.

Shinji was missing and so was L. Nobody in the club had seen them in a while. So Light, immensely disappointed and hurt, did the only thing he thought would help him forget. He slammed a 10,000 yen bill on the counter and ordered the barman to ‘keep them coming’.

It wasn’t responsible. It wasn’t intelligent. Everything about this poor decision screamed at Light how much of a fool he was.

On one hand Light reasoned that Shinji might have had an absolutely valid excuse to why he had disappeared so suddenly. On the other hand, Light didn’t care. He let himself believe that in the eyes of Shinji he would find peace and pursue happiness with him by his side.

But Shinji had left, and everything was bitter now.

And after five or fifteen vodka shots later, Light’s world was spinning like a carousel. Cigarette smoke now smelled nice to him and the music seemed in sync with Light’s frantic heartbeat. Bright lights and flashes invaded Light’s vision, leaving him blind to his surroundings.

The only thing he recalls vaguely was a figure. Someone with dark hair and pale skin was pulling him off the dancefloor. His heart screamed in joy, that maybe it was Shinji the one doing so. He probably yelled and called after him many, many times, but the figure wasn’t responding. Maybe it was all an illusion; His drunken mind crafting the object of his desire to soothe his want and ease the pain.

The last thing he remembers was red. Intense, bloody, dangerous red.

Light doesn’t remember how he got home that night. He just remembers the painful morning after, as he, hangover as fuck, stumbled drunkenly into the kitchen and tried to find coffee or juice or _something_ to make his brain function. He had to go to work.

On his way there, Light grabbed a few newspapers from the newspaper stand and bought ten cans of instant coffee, vanilla flavored, his favorite. If he was going to pull through this torture, he might as well not worry about his health at the moment. Like it would make any difference.

‘ **The ‘moon of death’ strikes again. Fifth body found in Minato district. Identity is still unknown**. ’ was the title on the first newspaper.

‘ **Tokyo citizens terrified as police searches their properties looking for the murderer**.” Said the other.

Light wanted to bang his head on the desk, scowling at how incompetent they all were. Everything was going terribly. His life was back to being awful, his bed back to being cold and him back to slowly dying inside. The only thing that had changed was the hunt for this lunatic who murdered people left and right, like it was his fucking right to do so.

Strangely enough, all the victims were former or current members of the same mafia family. Light had visited the crime scenes, it wasn’t pretty, but with every next victim, the scumbag got sloppier, as if his raging rampage was getting bigger and bigger. The only thing that was the same in every single dead body, was the way they were positioned after their brutal deaths.

On their backs, with their arms bending at the elbow in right angles.

If Light didn’t know any better he would have assumed that it was the letter ‘L’. But L wasn’t the murderer for he had offered to help the police during the investigation. He wasn’t allowed to contact L, even though he was dying to know Shinji’s whereabouts.

The only person in the office who L was in contact with was the Chief a.k.a. Light’s father. And the bastard never told Light a single thing about the context of their conversations, even though he had been the one who was responsible for case 56. He dug his nails into the thin, dull grey paper of the newspaper, feeling it crumpling in his hands.

And that’s how his father found him. Sulking in his office, newspaper crinkled in his hands, and several empty cans of coffee laying around on his desk.

“Light.” He called. Light turned to stare at him. He was holding a large envelope.

_Light? He never refers to me by name on the job_

“What is it Chief?” He curtly responded.

“We need to talk.” Was his father’s stern response. Light’s eyes widened slightly. That was something entirely new for his father to do. He had never visited Light’s office for more than a couple of seconds, and that was just to say the obligatory ‘good morning’ to him.

Light offered a seat opposite of his own to his father and watched him, as the chief reluctantly took it. His father’s shoulders were tense, his posture stiff. Light was an expert in recognizing body language, and his father’s told him that something was definitely wrong.

“Light…” The man started but softer this time, more gentle. “…We know the identity of the killer.”

No way.

Light stared in disbelief. His eyes were glossy from sleeplessness and his heartbeat jittery from the amount of coffee he had consumed. Did he hear that right, or was his tiredness acting up?

“..Ho..how?” Light stumbled upon his words. He never did that. He wasn’t one to stutter, but hearing something of such importance when you were least expecting it, did strange things to him.

Light’s father said nothing. He opened gingerly the envelope he held, with such a care, and placed a set of pictures on Light’s desk, right in front of him. Light eyed them curiously.

“Those are the pictures of the crime scenes.” He noted, staring at the evidence. He knew them well enough by now to paint them by hand. The grotesque content of them repulsed Light. Every picture had a date written in tiny characters on the upper left corner of it.

“Look at the first one.” His father commanded with an eerily chill voice. Light did as he was told.

He hadn’t seen this picture before, where was it taken? It was depicting a dead man, a guard, Light had noticed the uniform, strangled with white bed sheets. The dead body wasn’t what shook Light the most. No, he was well used to seeing them by now.

The walls. The plastered walls of the room were scraped heavily, some of them leaving bloody marks behind on the wall, writing only the letter L multiple times. Light eyed his father questioningly.

“The date, Light.” He looked at the date on the picture. It was the day he had visited the club for the second time.

“Does this have to do with the murderer?” Light inquired, already the cogs in his head turning, trying to fit the puzzle pieces together.

“Do you remember the disturbance in the west wing of the prison I had mentioned to you that morning Light?” His father added, trying to help Light figure this on his own. And he did. Light’s mouth went slightly agape, his eyes remained unblinking for a few seconds.

“You told me everything was under control!” He raised his voice, frustrated that his father chose to lie to him.

“It was! We thought that it was!” The chief hurried to correct Light’s assumptions. Light merely stared, probing his father to elaborate further on the subject. “This corpse wasn’t found until yesterday. The prisoner’s room was tightly sealed, not only locked, but also the door was jammed. The guard was supposed to be on vacation from the day after his escape. No one questioned his absence.”

His father went silent, averting his gaze on the floor, embarrassed that another life was gone from their inexcusable incompetence. “He created the perfect opportunity for his escape by starting a fight between the other prisoners. And that’s as far as we know.” That bastard had thought of everything, Light found himself scowling in anger.

“And what makes you believe that the rest of the crimes were committed by the same person?” Light knew the answer to that, but he had wanted to make sure his deductions were correct.

“Several reasons, really. First of all, perfect timing; the first murders, of the convenience store, occurred the day after this incident. Second, the convict was labeled with a high level of danger. His former associations with the mafia can be directly correlated to the choice of this killer to target people of that group. And third, as you may have noticed, the killer is obsessed with the letter L, and we might now know the reason.”

“And that is…?” Light impatiently asked, seeing the reluctance plastered on his father’s worried face.

“If our assumptions are correct…” he took a shaky breath in “...the killer is after L. He is moving his way up through corpses in order to get to L. And that is why L’s cooperation in our effort to capture this deranged man is crucial. The operation is already on the move. I need you to understand this Light.”

“But what about the second person?” Light instantly said, as his father had not once mentioned or implied the existence of an assistant to the murders.

Light had come to the same conclusion; that the killer was after L. But there were still many stray and weird evidence that didn’t quite fit. What about the message on the store’s counter? The seemingly spontaneous deactivation of the cameras? The disappearance of L and Shinji?

Wasn’t any of this bothering the rest of the force? He had surely written in his report the theory of a second person’s involvement in the case. Had no one noticed, or mentioned this?

“Light, there is no one else. At this moment we have our main suspect and L’s assistance, under conditions.” His father’s demeanor was strictly professional, his voice steady and rational. Light hated him for that. How could they be so blind?

“What are L’s conditions?” He wanted to know.

He was ready to throw himself in the hunt of the serial killer. No matter what it took, the scum was going behind bars again, and this time, if Light had any say in it, it was going to be final. How dare he take the lives of so many people in a petty hunt after L? 

Light was going to make him pay. Not only for the lives he had taken, but also for ruining his fucking life. He had lost Shinji amidst this mess, and that was something that Light couldn’t forgive easily.

“Just one.” His father’s voice suddenly got quieter. Softer.

“What is it?” He felt his blood boiling, anger coursing through him.

“Light….” They locked eyes. “You are off the case.”

_WHAT?_

What the fuck was up with L?

Light got up in a furious manner, glaring daggers at his idiot of a father who thought they could throw Light off the case. Like they could figure this out on their own. Bullshit.

“And you accepted?!!? What is wrong with you?” Light nearly screamed at the startled man sitting in front of him. Never in his career as a police officer had he raised his voice at someone, let alone his father. Never in his life had Light lost control of his temper.

“Light, please listen…”

“What more is there to listen to? The killer is out there, god knows, he might be killing another person _right now_ , and you tell me to understand? You can’t do this without me.”

Light was furious, absolutely mad. At L, at his father, at Shinji, at everyone!

“I know how you feel Light, but we know who the killer is and we are planning to capture him.” his father made a futile attempt to calm Light’s nerves. But Light was a raging fire, no amount of reassurance could sate at the moment.

“But father there are at least two people involved in this. You have to believe me!” Light cried. His throat felt scratchy and painful after all the yelling, but it didn’t matter because his father wouldn’t listen.

“Light!” The chief raised his voice sternly, not leaving room for Light to oppose him. “You are off the case and that is final. Move your stuff to department 2. You should be safe there.” Light scoffed.

“I don’t want to be safe, I want to help. That’s my job.” He informed his father, as if it wasn’t painfully obvious.

“Light, you don’t understand…”

Light slammed his hands on the desk harshly.

“No father, it’s you who doesn’t understand.” His eyes were aflame with rage, his soul screaming for justice. “I don’t remember you raising me this way.” Light knew his words hurt deep as he saw pain flashing momentarily behind his father’s eyes. Light was ready for the response. But the chief merely sighed, knitting his eyebrows together, troubled.

“That’s enough Light. You are suspended from the force until this case is closed.” His father’s voice sounded alien in Light’s ears. He gave up his raging demeanor and tried to calm down, not for the Chief’s sake, but for his father’s.

“Why are you so adamant on keeping me off the case?” he asked quietly.

“L refuses to cooperate until you’re off the case. He said no negotiations were allowed on that term.”

Light wanted to throw up. If L didn’t cooperate, there was no guarantee about Shinji’s safety. His Shinji might end up being another corpse on the pile of the killer’s way of getting to L. Everything about this situation felt wrong and unjust. He was completely useless against L’s wishes.

Light just stood there, defeated. He watched his father rub the bridge of his nose, already regretting yelling at Light. The room fell silent.

His father got up. “Pack your things officer Yagami.” Great, it was back to the fucking ‘officer Yagami’ title. “You’ll be notified when your position will be available.”

Light's world felt empty. He felt weak and disappointed. Disappointed, that even now, when Light’s skills were needed the most, somehow, the universe managed to throw him off the most important case of his career, leaving him useless and incapable of resisting.

Light slumped back on his chair, dead inside and utterly defeated. First he loses Shinji, then a fucking murderer appears out of nowhere, and now his job was gone. Great. The universe really wanted to fuck him up.

There was only one thing Light wished to know now. The name of the man that had ruined his life.

“…name…” He muttered. His father stopped to look at him.

“At least tell me his name. And I’ll resign.” He was sure the way his eyes were wide and clouded with anger was frightening, but he didn’t care.

“It’s Beyond Birthday.” were his father’s final words to him, before leaving the office and Light behind in a sour mood.

* * *

An hour later, Light had gone through every single one of the cans of coffee he had bought earlier, but it didn’t help tame his nerves. In fact, it had probably made everything much worse.

Light had found an old cardboard box somewhere in his now ‘old’ office. It used to carry new uniforms when the old ones were redesigned, and Light hadn’t opened his yet, so now he was using the box to place his items before he would leave the building for an indeterminate amount of time.

He wasn’t exactly ‘placing’ the items. Throwing them inside was a way more accurate description. He held up his badge, the one that his father, the Chief, had placed on his chest the day he had joined the force.

Fuck you.

Fuck you and the force.

And fuck L.

Anger began rising again, dangerously fast. Light was ready to punch a hole through the wall, when suddenly his phone buzzed on his desk. That stopped him from executing his violent rampage against the building and made him turn his head towards the sound.

It was Shinji’s number.

Light grabbed the phone with such force and speed, he nearly dropped it. He hurriedly opened the message.

_Shinji 14:08_

I want to tell you something. Meet me tonight, at the place we visited when the taxis were gone. I’ll explain everything.

_Shinji 14:09_

I’ll be waiting.

Light stared intensely at his phone. It had to be Shinji, for he had set a place only he and Light knew. Light was deeply troubled by this message that seemingly came out of nowhere. Why hadn’t Shinji contacted him before? Why hadn’t he answer Light’s numerous phone calls and text?

Light could only wonder. The only person who knew the answers to that was Shinji himself. And so Light had made his mind up, quite easily. He was going to see Shinji again. Perhaps even L.

Light kept his punch, maybe he would need it for tonight. He grabbed his handgun and put it in his pocket. It was always a good idea to carry it, especially when dealing with people of the mafia.

A small, traitorous part of himself hoped and begged that Shinji would be okay.

* * *

Ten minutes had passed since Light’s arrival to the club. He had gone behind it, easily finding the alley they had clashed their bodies and lips together that perfect night, probed by Shinji’s impatience. Light wished to go back to that night, when everything was right and it was only Shinji and him in the picture. No L, no Beyond. No one, except them.

But Light could only dream of experiencing something like that again. The universe made it abundantly clear that he wasn’t meant to be happy. Light sighed quietly.

What was happiness, really? A good job? Light already had a job he was good at and his monthly pay was enough to offer him a decent lifestyle.

Having a family? Light loved his family, but sometimes he just wished that they didn’t feel like strangers to him.

Was it love? Light had never considered himself to be a hopeless romantic. He didn’t believe that through a relationship he would find happiness. Those things happened only in fairytales.

The closest he got to tasting happiness was when he was with Shinji.

Not necessarily in their countless furious kisses or when they slept together, but in the quiet moments, when everything was absolutely still except their beating hearts. That’s where Light felt closest to happiness, for his heart was used to beating alone, for so long now. That’s all Light ever knew. Loneliness.

That was why it felt so difficult to let go of Shinji. Light didn’t want to go back to that ice cold feeling. He was tired of freezing his heart when Shinji offered him his warmth so very kindly.

But it was all in the past now, for Light had no idea what to expect tonight. He leaned on the brick wall, right next to a metal pipe that ran all the way to the top of the building.

All he could do was wait.

And about fifteen minutes later, Light’s patience was rewarded, when he heard the sound of a motorcycle coming to a halt, right on the entrance of the alley. Light figured that someone had arrived. He straightened his back and cracked his neck in jittery anticipation.

He heard footsteps. They were light, like a woman’s.

And Light saw _her_ approaching in a calm manner towards him.

The woman had bleached blonde hair and a dark scarlet shade of lipstick covered her lips. Light couldn’t clearly see her eyes, for the woman had on dark sunglasses, even though it was pitch black dark at that time of the day. She wore a dark leathery outfit paired with knee-high boots and similarly leather gloves that covered her hands.

She probably was an assistant of L, watching over Shinji, Light figured.

The woman got closer, now standing in right in front of him. And Light noticed that she was slightly shorter than him, even with the height the heels of her boots added.

He went to speak, to ask her who she was and where was Shinji. But the woman kneed Light’s stomach with such a force, Light’s body folded in half and a groan of intense pain left his lips. Before we could recover and react, the woman had skillfully tied his wrists around the metal pipe, forbidding Light’s movements. She kicked Light’s gun out of his pockets and watched it slide on the ground, just far away from his reach. He had tried to kick her, but the woman, as of instinctually, caught his leg and twisted it until a loud crack was heard. Great, now his arms couldn’t move and his ankle was sprained. Light’s body ached.

“Who are you??” Light growled, trying to free his hands from their bonds by pulling them harshly away from the pipe. All it did was to cause Light even more pain, as the movement burned his skin due to the friction between his wrists and the rough texture of the rope.

The woman did not speak. Far too casually, she pulled from her pockets a pack of cigarettes and a metal lighter. Light saw the reflection of the moon on it. She lit on a cigarette as she slowly made her way back to the bike, siting on it carelessly while placing a foot on the seat.

“Answer me!” Light screamed. The woman ignored him completely, exhaling a thin cloud of smoke from her red lips. “Who are you, and where is Shinji?” Light tried again, but his ribs were hurting from the hit. He was out of breath.

“Shinji?” Who’s Shinji?” A deep, scratchy voice asked from the darkness. Light couldn’t recognize its owner.

And from the depths of the alley a dark form began to show itself, walking to him in slow, firm steps. It was a man. A slender, tall figure creeped out of the darkness.

The man wore a plain white top paired with dark baggy jeans. His dark hair looked thick and messy. Something about him reminded him of Shinji, but in a distant way. The only significant difference between them were the man’s eyes.

Even though it was dark, Light could make out the man’s eye color. Deep chestnut, almost red eyes were staring at him, glittering of insanity. Light had seen them before but he couldn’t exactly tell when and where.

The man’s breath was ratchet, his eyes never blinking, piercing Light’s hurt figure, slumped against the wall.

This man looked absolutely insane. Bad shit crazy.

“Who the fuck are you?” Light locked eyes with the weird stranger that was staring him down.

“Don’t you remember _Yagami_?” He spat the name “The one who dragged your drunk ass home last night.”

Light felt his lungs stop working, his breath cutting short at the man’s claims. So that was what the dangerous red he remembered from the night before was. His intense glare.

“Do I know you?”

The man huffed.

“No, but I know you.” he watched Light, his right eye twitching and his breath falling heavy. Light said nothing.

“Well, I’ll give you a clue…” the man placed a finger on his chapped lips, as if he was considering to tell Light the truth straightaway.

“Moon of death.” He stated. Light’s eyes widened at the wicked realization. “What a silly name for someone to adopt. Especially a killer. Not everyone knows the double meaning of the kanji, you know.” The man grinned maniacally.

“Beyond…” Light whispered, not believing his fucking luck and the absolute mess of a situation he found himself into.

“Oh great! You do know me. Well, I’ll skip the greetings then.” The man, Beyond, waved a hand nonchalantly at Light.

“Where is he?” Light growled in anger.

“I am afraid I’m not following” the man scratched his head, in a manner Light had only seen Shinji do before. They were the acting so similarly. As if this man had wanted to copy, impersonate Shinji on purpose.

“Shinji”

“Shinji, huh?” He tested the name, thinking. “Is that what he is called now? Fucking pitiful.”

Light watched him with a questioning look.

The man let a murderous smile form on his lips.

“Oh darling, didn’t he tell you? He’s L.”

"Why should I believe you?" Light snarled.

"Do me a favor and use that tiny brain you carry in that pretty head of yours. I know it's at least functional. L wouldn't have been so smitten otherwise."

Light’s eyed widened impossibly, his heart skipping a beat.

It made sense.

He didn’t want to believe it, but it fucking made sense!

‘Shinji’s’ influence over L, the power he had held over his decisions. The way he had joked about the fake name, the fucking cologne. The phone. The phone he had lost…was in the hands of Beyond… and Light completely overlooked it, rushing to see him again. Not even questioning the message. The eyes he had felt watching him back then…Oh God… Why _L_ wanted him off the case _._ What a fucking idiot he had been. Lovesick fool.

It didn’t matter now anyway.

He fucked up. And he was going to be dead soon, if the insane glint and murderous intent of this man were genuine.

“Are you his brother?” Light had remembered the way Shinji’s, no, L’s eyes were impossibly frightened at the mention of his brother. Light could clearly see the resemblance of their mannerisms. Maybe this man, who wanted to be L so badly but wasn’t, maybe this was him.

Light didn’t blame L for drifting apart from him. This guy was a lunatic.

“He calls me ‘brother’?” The man let a dry, sarcastic laughter out. “I don’t know if I should feel honored or fucking barf.” He seemed repulsed by the thought.

“Why are you doing this?” Light figured that if he was going to die, he might as well know why.

“Simple.” Beyond, way too casually started.

Then insanity swallowed him, his red eyes wide and foggy with rage.

“I won’t let him be happy. The bastard doesn’t deserve it.”

Light stared, scared and disgusted by this freak of nature.

“He’s everything I was supposed to be. He fucking took everything from me and left me to rot in prison. No way in hell I’ll give him his happily ever after. He’s not worth it” His eyes shined, he reeked of murder.

“Even when Watari laid dead in my arms, I couldn’t fucking care, do you know why?”

Light supposed he shouldn’t answer to a deranged man’s villainous monologue.

“Because it made him suffer. Just like he made A suffer. Just like I’ve suffered because of him.” Light couldn’t understand a single word that came out from the murderer’s mouth. He didn’t know who those people were. What was this?

“My goal is simple. I want to see him perish, suffering twice the pain he put me through.” He smiled, wicked satisfaction coursing through him.

“Then why are you after me?” Light’s initial question wasn’t answered, so he asked again.

“Because you are a weakness.” That sounded awfully familiar. “ _His weakness.”_

Realization hit Light like a truck.

“So you were the one that left the note?” he asked quietly.

“No. She did.” He nodded towards the woman on the bike, who was lighting up a second cigarette and texting something on her phone, not even looking at the hideous play of the two of them in front of her.

So, as far as Light could tell the people in front of him were the duo behind the murders. He had been correct all along. But he wished that he wasn’t, because right now, being correct meant being dead.

“It seems “Shinji’s”” he mocked again.”…agents turned their backs on him when he fell in love, like an idiot.” he looked disgusted.

Light couldn’t see much in the darkness but he noticed the woman’s lips twitch over her cigarette. It was barely noticeable, but Light saw it.

“Taking away what he loves most, you, will be the cherry on top of my revenge on him.” He cackled triumphantly, taking a slow, careful step towards Light.

“Why didn’t you kill me last night then?” Light tried to understand what was going on in the other’s head.

“Not. Good. Enough.” Beyond spat each word, growling. “He wasn't here. I wanted him to see you dying.”

“But he’s not here now either.” Light stated the obvious.

Beyond leaned down, coming face to face with Light’s distressed face. The killer smiled wickedly

“LIGHT!!!” Someone suddenly shouted from behind.

“Look who’s here.” He whispered to Light, blowing a gust of wind slightly on his sweaty forehead. Light shivered.

He straightened up, his back cracking horribly and turned to look towards the new arrival of L. L was standing there, face blank, posture stiff and his gaze shifting erratically between Beyond and Light.

Light had wanted to scream, to warn him to go away, to run from this crazy man who had promised him suffering. But it wasn’t the wise thing to do right now. Light had already acted stupid enough. He kept his mouth shut.

“Brother!” He exclaimed, opening his arms wide open in a mocking manner, like he was offering a hug to his relative.

L scoffed at Beyond.

“Beyond, you told me it was going to be you and me.” He said with a low, dangerous voice. “He has nothing to do with this. I told you to keep him out of it.” L glanced at Light, who was struggling in his bounds, trying to wake up from this nightmare in vain.

“Yes I do recall telling that.” He contemplated innocently. “But I don’t give a fuck.”

The killer had carefully grabbed Light’s gun when he had knelt in front of him. Light noticed the gun in his hand right away. He went to scream, warn L, but with a swift movement, Beyond reached in the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a sharp knife, it’s blade glistening and ready to cut, pointing it to Light’s face, just a width of a hair away from Light’s nose. Light swallowed hard.

“Beyond…Don’t do anything crazy. It’s me that you want. Let him go.” L warned, his voice raspy and strained.

“Yes, that’s true. But I’ve changed my mind. Now I want him.” And with a sharp thrust Beyond lodged the knife right in Light’s left bicep. Light groaned in pain, feeling the warmth of his liquid blood running down his confined arm.

L twitched. Beyond raised the gun towards him.

“If you make a move, I’ll shoot you and him.” He was watching L intensely, observing like a hawk his every movement.

Light hissed when he felt his arm pulsing painfully.

L made a move to run at Light.

Beyond pulled the trigger sharply, shooting the the gun.

The woman, who was, until now, a mere spectator of the scene from her motorcycle, dove in front of L, the bullet hitting her right arm. She fell on the ground with a hard thud.

“Wedy!” L cried, but before Beyond could realize his mistake and shoot again, L kicked the gun out of his hand with a smooth back kick. He took it in his hands and pointed it at Beyond, leaving the murderer stunned in his position.

Light felt weak, his vision was getting blurry. Police sirens were heard in the distance. They were approaching.

“You called the fucking cops? Are you back to your old habits ‘brother’?” Beyond growled through his teeth, still unmoving from where he stood. He glanced at the fallen woman.

“Look at her. She took a bullet for you.” He scoffed. “Fucking idiots. That useless bitch doesn’t realize that you don’t give a fuck about her and only care about ‘pretty boy’ here.”

L grit his teeth.

“Put your arms behind your back. They’ll be here soon enough” he referred to the police sirens “…and you’ll go back right where you belong. It’s fucking over Beyond.”

“Oh, I don’t think it is.” And then Beyond, in a rush, dragged the knife out of Light's arm, blood gushing out in rivers of red from his newly formed wound and stabbed him violently, right on the chest.

“LIGHT!” L had dropped his gun and ran towards Light immediately, kneeleing next to him.

“Fucking sucker. You get what you deserve.” Were Beyond’s last words before made a run for the motorcycle. He knew he had to flee immediately or police would be here soon. He couldn’t afford being caught again. The keys were still on it, so he managed to start the bike instantly. And then he was gone in the night, swallowed by darkness, cackling maniacally.

L undid quickly Light’s bonds and wrapped his arms around him gently, cradling him carefully. Light’s eyes were foggy, his arm and chest bloody.

He was so fucking tired and everything hurt.

“No. no, no... Light!” L wailed and cried, softly stroking Light’s sweat matted hair.

Light heard many different voices filling the alley, the sirens had stopped.

He saw people lifting the woman off the ground where she laid, and placed her in, was that an ambulance? Light couldn’t really tell. His consciousness was fading. He couldn’t move.

“Light, stay with me. I can’t lose you.” L’s voice sounded small, scared. Nothing like it had sounded before.

“Please. Light?” L choked. Were those tears?

The last thing Light remembers was beautiful dark eyes, glossy with tears, looking down at him, so very full with pain.

_No_

_Don’t be in pain my dear, please._

_I’ll be alright_

And then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know many things don't make sense, but I'll try to explain everything better later.  
> In short, Wedy was acting as a double agent, not informing L because she needed to act fast. L and the force tried to corner Beyond but no one expected Light to be there too. 
> 
> I'm sorry if it wasn't as good as the other ones, I get sad writing about stuff like this. Hope you guys liked it though! 
> 
> Thank you, as always <3


	7. Leaves of dirty green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light recovers in the infirmary plagued by nighmares, and convices Aiber to let him see L again.

It was quiet. Extremely quiet, wherever Light was.

He looked around him in hopes of recognizing where he was. There was only darkness.

He was nowhere. 

He began walking, not knowing exactly where he was going, but still. He wanted to get out of there. He heard liquid footsteps following his every step, but he couldn’t see anything.

And then, a speck of light showed up in the sky. The moon. A full, rusty moon shined on something not so far away from him. Light got closer. He could finally see something.

He froze.

Blood.

Light could see dark red blood glistening everywhere. Thick and fresh covering the entire floor, the moon reflected perfectly on its wet surface. Light was extremely repulsed by this, for he felt that the blood he saw was the blood that ran through the veins of the people who were wrongfully dead. Light never wanted to see any more of it in his life.

“Light!” He heard a voice. A deep, scared voice called for him in the distance.

Light turned sharply towards it and tried to move, but he was stuck. His feet were submerged in the liquid floor, the fluid swallowing him inch by inch.

No, no, let me go.

The blood was climbing slowly onto his clothes, reminding him of its presence and the lives he had failed to save. Light panicked.

“Help!” he screamed.

“Light!” The voice called again, closer this time. Light saw a person approaching fast. It was L.

“L, I’m scared.” Light said quietly when L was close enough to hear him. His legs were sinking faster now.

“I know. Everything will be okay.” L answered soothingly and offered a hand.

Light desperately reached for it, wanting and yearning to hold him close and everything would be alright. Just like L had said.

But those dark eyes turned red in a flash of a moment. Those familiar lips curled up in a menacing grin. And just like that his L was gone and a demon took his place, a bloodthirsty beast with red eyes that cackled evilly.

His extended hand now held something. A blade sparkling in the darkness, dripping and dripping with red. It terrified Light.

The blade was shoved in Light’s chest, his own blood trickling down his body and mixing with the rest that surrounded him.

The man laughed, his silhouette shined in front of the scarlet moon, leaving Light to drown in the sea of blood, never to be seen again.

* * *

Light opened his eyes forcefully, and a sat up on his bed in a rush, trying to understand what the fuck had just happened. His breathing was faster than normal and his erratic heartbeat was ringing loudly in his head.

It was another nightmare.

It’s been the same thing for over a week now.

The nightmares didn’t show Light any mercy, never letting him rest since he had awaken.

Light felt the sharp pain driving through his ribs instantly when he tried to exhale shakily and hissed. His arm throbbed too.

The medicine did jack shit. All those morphine sulfate injections he got daily injected in his body merely sated Light enough to sleep for an hour or two. The first few days Light had been awake, he needed a breathing mask to breathe properly, because each breath he took felt like he was going to die. But it was getting better.

The doctors had said that he was extremely lucky, though Light failed to see any amount of luck in his situation. The knife had penetrated his diaphragm and grazed the top left lobe of his liver. He was lucky that his pericardium was left untouched and his heart was beating normally. It hurt like hell though when he was breathing.

He stared down at himself, his chest and arm were still wrapped with multiple bandages that reeked of iodine solution. It restricted the movements of his arm slightly, but Light could move it to a reasonable degree. He looked like something that would walk out of an ancient sarcophagus in Egypt. Knife wounds, especially near the abdomen and chest, were really not a laughing matter.

The good news were that he was free to go home tonight, of course visiting the hospital every day to change his bandages and clean his wounds until they were sufficiently healed. His foot, thankfully, was off the cast and he could at least walk, not perfectly, but at this point Light couldn’t really have any complains about his physical integrity. Everything was shitty.

The woman who was shot on the scene, Wedy, was apparently one of their own agents. An agent of L. She was on the infirmary room just opposite of his, though she was free to go after a week, for the bullet merely grazed her arm and her wound had healed enough. Thankfully Beyond didn’t fuck up everybody as horribly as he had done to him.

Even though they didn’t have the greatest first meeting, as kicks in the stomach and attempted murder weren’t exactly what was usually considered a stellar first impression, Light held respect for Wedy. Dealing with a psychopath surely must be, not only extremely difficult, but also very nerve-wracking.

The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was his father sitting on an old hospital chair next to his bed, looking positively wrecked. Dark eye bags from sleeplessness formed under his eyes, his usually combed back greying hair looked messy and untamed. Light swore that his father was in a newfound state of desperation, for as soon as Light had opened his eyes, his father jumped from his seat and held Light’s hand so tightly, it nearly hurt.

“Thank God you’re alright.” was the only thing the Chief said to him.

It was enough for Light though, because, for once, he had felt that his father cared about his son, Light, and not ‘officer Yagami’. Light had managed to barely blink back at him once, acknowledging his concern for him, but Light was so very much in pain.

Light wasn’t exactly awake and well that first week; he couldn’t see that well, his vision was foggy and dull. He also couldn’t really talk through the breathing mask with the constant throbbing pain he felt attacking his chest every time he inhaled.

He doesn’t remember it, but one of the nurses had told him that a thin, dark haired man hadn’t left his side in the ambulance nor the first three days Light was out of it. It was L.

Light’s L.

One would expect Light to be mad at L for hiding his true identity from him. But he wasn’t. He did the exact same thing after all, that first night they had met on the dancefloor. Shinji, L, whoever he was, even if he told him that he was secretly Santa, it didn’t matter at all for Light. It wasn’t the name that he fell for, but the amazing, beautiful and intelligent person behind it.

Somehow, Shinji being L made more sense than anything. It fit the puzzle pieces together perfectly. Even if it would make their lives a living hell, Light could bear it all. Many others told Light, multiple times, how stubborn and headstrong he was, always chasing the impossible for his own benefit. They weren’t exactly wrong.

Light knew, with crystal clarity, what he wanted and he would do anything, even fight against fate, to get it. Only this time, it was different. Even though Light wanted nothing more than to have L by his side, finally getting out of his overbearingly repetitive routine that was his awful life with the perfect half of his that was missing, his priority was for L to be happy.

But Light understood very well that L’s happiness wasn’t something he was going to choose for him and do what he thought was right for it. No, only L knew what would give him happiness and whatever it was, be it with or without Light, Light would make sure to do exactly that.

Even if that meant L leaving his life forever.

What wouldn’t he give for L to be the person Light awoke next to after everything that had happened.

But the nurse had informed him that eventually L was nearly ready to collapse from starvation and tiredness, and some other handsome blonde man dragged him out of his infirmary chamber. Light wished to be awake then, even for a few minutes, just to assure L that he was going to be fine. To not let his beautiful eyes fill with worry and his lips not smiling like they should.

Light hadn’t seen L since that murderous day.

He had wanted to see him so badly. Just be close to him again.

So there he was, sitting utterly alone on his hospital bed, staring at his badly injured body and contemplating ways to deal with this mess when he was finally out of there.

The door knocked rhythmically three times.

“L?” Light immediately brightened, springing on his bed expectedly and hurting himself in the process. Ow…

“Easy there, Light-chan.” The blonde man with the clear blue eyes said just after he had closed the door. He held a bouquet of dusty pink tulips.

“Oh God, not you again!” He exclaimed severely disappointed by the lack of L at his door.

“Nice to see you too.” The man smiled easily, letting himself get comfortable on the chair next to Light and placing the flowers carefully on his bedside table. Light’s eyes followed his movements boringly.

He should have known that L was reasonable enough not to visit again, remembering vividly that less than sane brother of his who was currently on a bloody hunt for both their heads. He understood that, even though it killed him inside not to be close to him. It had been far too long.

“I’ll assume my performance as L wasn’t convincing enough.” The man jokingly said.

“You must be Aiber then.” Light had guessed easily.

“The one and only.” He arrogantly grinned, winking at Light playfully _. Just stop_.

“I’m glad to see you are doing…” Aiber eyed him up and down “…well?” his questioning intonation clearly conveyed his doubt about Light’s wellbeing.

“Never been healthier.” He answered with a flat voice, dripping of sarcasm.

“At least you’re doing better than the last time I saw you. I was trying my best to declaw L’s fingers off your bedsheets and force him back to the apartment, so my first visit to you was really short. I’m sorry about that.” He paused dramatically. “That man has the heart of a kitten and the claws of a tiger. You’re a lucky man Light.” Light nearly rolled his eyes, but he didn’t bother to do so.

“For how long was I out?” Light wasn’t exactly sure himself.

“I don’t know. Your father has informed me that you were awake, so I brought you this...” he nodded towards the dozen of rose colored tulips. “…From myself and L.” 

L…

“How is he?” Light tried his best to hide that note of desperation from his question but he failed miserably. Just hearing the letter ‘L’ made him a jittery, anxious mess.

“Light, he wants you to be well. That’s what it matters to him now.” Aiber looked around Light’s room uncomfortably, clearly avoiding giving him a straight answer. Light stared intensely at him, never letting his own gaze wonder.

“Aiber.” Light commandingly called. The man snapped his head back to Light’s intense stare. “Tell me how he is doing.” The blonde man sighed painfully.

“To be honest Light, he’s doing shit. He barely eats, doesn’t even sleep, he’s a mess.” Aiber informed Light with great deal of hesitation. “He wanted to come here with me today. He even tried to play the ‘I’m the boss’ card on me to convince me. I managed to leave without him noticing. We both know how dangerous it is right now. Beyond is still out there, hiding and waiting for God knows what…”

Light’s throat suddenly felt dry, dread creeping up his spine hearing that the person dearest to him wasn’t okay. For a dark brief moment, the pain those words was even greater than the one his physical wounds caused to Light. Why must L always bear the greatest load of sadness and hurt? Why was life so unfair to him?

“Is Wedy alright?” Light tried to stir the conversation somewhere else, as it hurt both him and Aiber. Watching the people you love suffer and not being able to take that away from them, leaves you feeling useless.

“Yeah. She’ll be totally fine in a few days.”Aiber responded, carding a hand through his hair. “What about you? Are you feeling any better?” Light snorted.

“The knife penetrated my diaphragm and just a tad of my liver. I was lucky my thoracic cavity was left untouched. Hurts like hell though when I’m breathing.” He ran a palm gently over the bandaged wounds, providing a visual representation of his words to Aiber. The other man made an apologetic face, evidently feeling sorry for him. “At least I’m still alive. Does Beyond know that?” He asked.

“I’m not sure what to tell you, but to anyone outside the scene you were left for dead, so that is probably what he also believes to be true.”

Light hummed, thinking.

“What has even happened between them?” He meant L and Beyond. Aiber understood that and shook his head slightly.

“It’s probably a long story. I don’t know much about L’s life before we met, but what I do know is how Beyond ended up in prison the first time.” He paused, looking at Light as if he was asking permission to tell him.

“Tell me.” He wanted to understand this peculiar and deadly relationship between the two men who had flipped his entire life upside down. One for the better and the other for the worst.

“It must have been two or three years ago….” Aiber pondered “…when L, Wedy and I landed in Japan. L had entrusted to us the mission to capture Beyond. He had always been a power hungry bastard. Beyond had been the one who had established the name ‘L’ in the mafia as a boss. You see, he had taken over as the head of the mafia family impersonating L, even though he wasn’t.” 

Light had been listening carefully with great interest. Beyond acted as if being ‘L’ was a title only he had deserved, even if it belonged to someone else. His L. He was just being the cheap wannabe copy of the original, using someone’s name to achieve what he could never do on his own. It was sick. 

“Beyond had never been in his right mind Light, so when he had gained the position of power that he had truly desired, that L had snatched away from him before, he started acting bizarrely. I’m sure if you go back to old police records, you’ll find ‘L’ sending death threats to anyone threatening to strip him off that power. The police force, politicians, even Interpol. Everyone was a danger to his authority in Beyond’s eyes.”

Indeed, Light remembered hearing rumors about that, but they had stopped as soon as they had started spreading. It was brushed off by the force by as a mere ‘change of tactics’ from L. L had always been a mysterious figure and no one could truly predict his next actions. That much was true from the very beginning. But the rest Light had never heard.

“Long story short, we managed to fool Beyond into believing L was going to give up his own place to him in exchange for the ‘mafia don’ title and L successfully put him behind bars. I won’t bore you with the details of that first operation and also I’m not exactly allowed to share them.” He huffed a tiny laughter.

“Then L, in a move that surprised everyone, decided to actually take over Beyond’s position and use it to do what he couldn’t do back home. And apparently, me pretending to be L was an integral part of his plan, in order to cover his identity and operate in secret. I couldn’t say no to him. He’s cute when he’s demanding. ”Aiber smirked bitterly.

“Beyond came from the same place our L did. No wonder the scumbag has a mind as sharp as a knife, skills that can rival all of us combined.” He sighed. Aiber tried to play his nonchalant, careless persona, forcing a toothy smile at Light. But Light could see that the man was tired, worn out and worried to death.

Beyond’s sudden reappearance certainly did a number on them all.

“So, none of you were in the mafia before Beyond’s arrest?” Light observed.

“No, not exactly. We were, obviously, helping L, as he was on his way to become the greatest detective of Britain, and maybe the world’s if Beyond would let him.” Aiber leaned back and got as comfortable as he could on that tiny chair.

L as a detective. It would have been perfect, he had everything it took and even more to dominate that profession. Slyness and intelligence were L’s absolute best attributes, after his smile in Light’s eyes. Light could only wonder what might have been if L had become a detective.

“As I said, I don’t know why L chose to stay in Japan as a mob boss and abandon his post back in England. I can only assume. What I do know though, is that after Watari’s death, L had never been the same. He turned ice cold and calculative, always seeking perfection in every part of his plans and refusing to let emotion meddle with his business. I didn’t appreciate the change, but I respected him enough and grew to love him as a brother after all our years together, so I didn’t say anything.” Aiber let a smile, a genuine one this time, grace his lips, and turned to look at Light with soft eyes.

“And then he met you, and he fell right back into being an adorable mess. Just like the first time I met him. He threw a chocolate covered strawberry at me, demanding from me to catch it with my teeth and not waste the ‘delightful culinary masterpiece’ of his as he had called it.” He recalled fondly. Light chuckled softly, it definitely sounded like the L he knew.

“Thank you Light, for allowing him to be himself again. I owe you one for that, short as it lasted.” Aiber finished what he had to say, drawling his last words and looking even more tired than before.

A comfortable silence engulfed the two of them, allowing Light’s mind to wonder, a thousand what ifs coursing through his head about alternate universes, where he and L met in a different way. Would they be lovers again? Could they grow to hate eachother as rivals? Light could only wonder.

Then Aiber made a move, reaching inside his breast pocket and taking out an envelope. A fat, sizable envelope, and set it right next to Light’s pillow. Light looked at him questioningly.

“Before I go, L told me to give you this.”

Light snatched the envelope immediately and nearly tore its top off, in his rush to receive whatever message L had sent to him.

It was all green. Multiple thin leaves of dirty green. Light stared.

“What the fuck is this?” He said annoyed, grasping a couple of bills in his uninjured hand and staring at them in repulsion.

“That…” Aiber pointed at his fist. “…. is a shitload of money Light.” He said nonchalantly.

“I can see that, I’m not an idiot.” Light’s brow twitched in newly risen anger when he realized a couple of things. “Why are you giving me this?”

Aiber sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day and looked as if he was preparing himself for reasoning with an enraged Light. Like he had anticipated this happening.

“Light, Beyond won’t rest until you’re dead. Get out of the country and we’ll protect you from him. We still have some power over the mafia before we lose it all to Beyond. We’ll cover your identity and he won’t follow you if L stays here.” He tried to explain to Light, faking calmness, like one would do to pacify a whining baby. Light wasn’t a fucking baby. Light, right now, was mad.

“I’m not running away and leaving him behind Aiber. Have you lost your mind? Like hell I’m taking it.” Light shot at the man, completely convinced that fumes were coming out of his ears.

“Light, Believe me I was the first one that protested against it, but it’s what L wishes and we have no other choice. We are losing allies by the minute.”

“What do you mean?” Light asked, confused.

“People in our world don’t operate on trust and respect. They blindly follow power. Power rules everything in the underworld. How many Mafia Dons do you think would offer their men’s lives chasing after a serial killer that isn’t their problem? Beyond has clearly the upper hand here. And if he chooses to let out that I’m a fake L, there goes whatever trust is left of our remaining allies.”

Light remained silent, just for a moment, to recollect his thoughts and figure something else out. There had to be something. Anything.

“But the police force is still on your side. Beyond must be put behind bars again. Surely there is a solution to this.” Light knew that there wasn’t. At least not a simple one. Hell doesn’t have an easy way out.

“Do you really believe that we can outwit Beyond for a second time?”Aiber’s words sounded distressed, forced. He was clearly frustrated as well with everything. Light could relate. “We gave it our all the first time trying to capture him. The time he spent in prison, I’m sure the bastard studied every possible outcome of his actions quietly. He must know the police’s tactics better than the back of his hand by now.”

Light and Aiber stared at each other desperately, as if the solution would present itself in front of them if they continued to do so for long enough.

“How many people know? That _he_ is L?” Light asked in a quiet whisper, cutting through the thick tension that hovered in the air of his small room.

“You, me, Wedy and Beyond.” Light should have known.

“So to the world you’re still L. That’s unfortunate.” He repeated, trying to comprehend how such a clever maneuver, to hide L’s true identity, turned the tables on them.

“Yes.” was Aiber’s painfully simple response.

“What about Beyond?” Was the creep celebrating his victory already? Was he planning to continue his killing spree just for the heck of it? They had chosen to play a dangerous game with Beyond, but it was too late now. He had already won before the game had even started and he knew it.

“He’s been strangely quiet. L doesn’t tell us anything we don’t already know.” Aiber unhelpfully informed, placing his elbows on top of his thighs and leaning slightly forward in a disappointed manner.

“Light, I’m afraid L is going to do something crazy.” He rubbed his face a bit, frustrated. “He hasn’t told me anything, but I know him. He won’t stop until it’s done.”

No, please no, Light begged and pleaded to anyone who might hear him.

L was willing to throw himself under the bus in order to protect Light from Beyond’s fury. He was definitely going to act quickly, fueled by his protectiveness over Light, and Light was terrified that it wasn’t going to end up well.

L’s plan was to be born from terror and fear about Light’s life. And part of that plan was to send Light away. Somewhere far, far away where Beyond’s claws couldn’t reach him. Light couldn’t allow that to happen.

‘What is he going to do Aiber? Fuck.” Light swore, his body and heart aching in tandem.

“I have no idea Light. And I’m terrified to find out.”Aiber said silently. His voice was drained from every ounce of the confidence he usually had, now replaced by immense worry.

Light felt the world around him come to a halt. He felt time freeze in those few painful seconds, when Light was overwhelmed with the, new to him, emotion of fear. Light wasn’t a person who would bow down to fear, he never let himself be controlled by it. Until now when L’s life was on the line.

_It took me so long to find you, please don’t go._

His heart clenched painfully behind his ribs, and it had nothing to do with the knife wound that existed there. And suddenly, out of nowhere it came to Light.

“I need to talk to him.” He muttered mostly to himself, but Aiber had also heard him, giving him an absurd look.

“Light that’s not…”

“Possible?” Light hurried to snatch the word out of Aiber’s mouth. “It is, if you help me.”

“I’m not leaving him. I don’t care if you think it’s unwise or foolish. I know that better than anyone. But please, let me see him. Just once is enough.” Light understood how immature he sounded. He knew how ridiculous and dangerous his request was, but still. Love does strange things to you.

Aiber stared at the white wall on the opposite side of the room looking utterly divided. Light just needed to push a tad more. Just a bit, and he would get to see L again.

“Aiber! Please help me!” he whined, his tone demanding. Then with a tiny, pained voice “I don’t want to lose him…”

“Funny thing, it’s exactly the same thing he said to me when he gave me that envelope for you.” Aiber responded bitterly.

Light fell quiet. He lowered his eyes, trying to compose himself.

“I’m not taking the money by the way. It’s insulting.” He said, after he regained his composure.

“Let me see him.” His eyes now bore a hole on Aiber’s skull, unyielding and resolute. He had made his decision.

“Fuck, don’t look at me like that, you know I have low self-control when it comes to beautiful people Light!” Light thought that he was joking, but the blonde man seemed serious.

“I don’t know what to do. Nothing seems right anymore.” Aiber paused. “I’m not bringing him back the money, he’ll gauche my eyes out. You do it.” Aiber finally gave up and scratched his head.

“He’s going to hate me for this but…”

Light widened his eyes in hopeful anticipation, waiting for Aiber to yield to his will. The man looked so worn-out.

“I understand how you feel Light, I truly do.” Light nearly wept out of joy. “I’ll call him to meet me here tonight...” He took a pen from one of his pockets and wrote the address carefully on the back of the paper envelope.

“Try to convince him not to do anything crazy.”

“I will.” He said with iron certainty and reached for his jacket, which was neatly folded next to the bed with the rest of his other clothes, to put away the envelope.

“I don’t know Light. No one has managed to change his mind ever, yet.” And Aiber actually smiled, after all that sighing and frowning. The smile was a small one for sure, but Light appreciated it.

He fidgeted for a while in the pockets of his jacket noticing something missing.

“Wait, where’s my gun?” He searched around a bit and pulled out what he found there. Just a pair of silvery handcuffs.

“Hey, no gun until you’re fully healed princess. Wise choice.”Aiber had the audacity to wink at him.

Light couldn’t believe it.

They had taken his gun, probably thought it was a good idea, taking the recent events in consideration. Now he was just left with the handcuffs. Like they would help, when a psychopath was after him.

“Well, my time is up. I should go.” Aiber stood and stretched his arms, cracking his spine in the process. “I need a cigarette and I’ve seen the words ‘no smoking’ written about a million times on the walls in here.” He made to go for the door.

“Aiber...” Light gently stopped him. There was one more thing to be said.

The man in question turned.

“Promise me you’ll look after him. No matter what happens with him and me.” He meant every word. Aiber smiled knowingly.

“I’ll try my best Light. He’s a stubborn piece of shit.” He let out a tiny laughter.

“Good” Light smiled genuinely.”…Thank you.”

* * *

Light unlocked the door all jittery, nearly dropping the key on the carpeted floor of the hotel.

Thankfully a coworker of his offered to drive him there, so he had left the infirmary without anyone noticing. There was no time for him to go home, so he had grabbed the clothes next to his bed, put them on and came straight to the hotel of the address.

He didn’t know what exactly he was going to say to L in order to shift his perspective. Should he beg, command, crawl to his feet? Do all three? He needed to make L see how much he meant to Light. To understand that losing him wasn’t an option in Light’s book.

Receiving that envelope from Aiber had been one of the most offensive thing anyone has ever done to Light. Like hell he would leave L, his L, behind. 

He was angry, mad even, that L had given him the easy option out of this, taking again the whole burden on himself. Yes, Light understood that L was very used to be in control of everything given his history with authority, always, always taking the hard tasks upon himself.

But if there was one thing that Light had learned all his years alive, was no matter how talented, intelligent or strong you were you could never relief all the pain from the world. And L had only been relying on his own strength, always. It was all he’d ever known.

Light was going to change that, for he had something else to propose. And he wished with all his soul that L would give up control, just this one time.

He entered the room with a shaky breath. L wasn't there yet. He looked at his watch, he had arrived a few minutes early. Light fidgeted with his fingers, observing the modern furniture around the room while prepping himself mentally for what was about to follow.

Suddenly, the door flung open with a loud thud, banging on the side wall harshly and a furious L stormed inside the room like the wind.

“…Aiber I swear to God, if you forced me to come here and it’s not important, I’ll…” He stopped, just now realizing who the person was in the room, waiting for him. His eyes widened and his breath stuck in his lungs. “Light…” he exhaled shakily, stilling on the floor where he stood.

Light took him in. L had always been thin, but it seemed as if he had lost weight. His beautiful dark eyes were now nearly popping out of his thin delicate face, intense dark circles framing his tired gaze. His clothes reminiscent of the ones Beyond had worn that day, a faded white long sleeved shirt and a pair of black jeans. His poor L looked devastated.

All anger had left Light the moment he came eye to eye with L’s hopeless face.

He walked slowly towards him, his own eyes watering, and never leaving L's stunned expression. He reached L and stood there, searching his midnight black eyes. He watched as L’s dark irises expanded, his expression not even twitching, as he disbelievingly stared at Light, like he was a ghost of the past.

“My L, what have you done?” Light whispered, reaching to stroke L’s hollowed cheek. L shuddered, not opening his mouth to respond.

“L talk to me. What’s wrong?” Light probed gently.

“Light…” L repeated softly, not believing that Light was right there with him, alive.

“Yes, I’m here my dear.” Light confirmed as reached his arms around L’s skinny frame, trying to hug him close as much as his injuries allowed him to. It hurt, his ribs clenching cruelly and his wrapped arm throbbed. But Light had L in his arms again. He didn’t care.

L remained still in his arms, quiet. It would have been dead silent in the room if not for L’s raspy breaths and Light’s quickened heartbeat.

Light cradled L’s head with one hand while rubbing his back slowly with the other.

“It will all be alright. I’m fine! Look.” He feigned cheerfulness for L’s sake.

“Light you’re not. Nothing is alright.” L began with a tiny broken voice. “Why are you here? I told Aiber to give you the envelope. He didn’t, didn’t he? I’ll kill him…” L began to talk fast, clearly panicking about Light’s sudden presence.

“Shhh…” Light ran his fingers through L’s tangled hair. “I needed to see you. That’s why I came here.” He brushed a lock of L’s hair away from his forehead.

L shoved Light away.

“You should be away from here. Leave Japan immediately.” L had found his authoritative voice again, his glassy eyes making him look like he would break apart any moment.

“I won’t do that.” Light informed him firmly. His own irritation, fueled by frustration, sadness and regret, had started rising steadily.

“GO LIGHT NOW.” L growled like a wounded animal. Like Light had wanted to hurt him intentionally by staying here. Like Light was a hindrance to him. So it was going to be the hard way.

And the anger came back flooding, like water rushing in a dam. 

Light grabbed the envelope from his breast pocket, where he had previously placed it, and threw it in the air. Light’s glare turned sharp pinning L’s own while money rained down all over the two of them. L watched the change in Light’s expression terrified.

“What the fuck L? Are you serious? Go? Go where?” Light nearly screamed. He felt his chest vibrating from the sheer volume of his voice.

“Light, please...” L fell weak again, his huge eyes begging Light to understand. “You have to get out of the country.”

“No, I won’t. I’m not leaving you behind L. Beyond is still out there and he’ll come after you. I know he will. I’m not going anywhere when I know you’re in danger.” _I can’t live on without you_. Light desperately tried to explain.

“We have the entire police force on the hunt for him and you can still influence a part of the Mafia. We also have Aiber and Wedy. We can do this together L!” Light reached and clasped his hands on L’s frail shoulders, shaking him slightly.

They couldn’t really take on Beyond. Light was fooling himself, feeding L sweet lies so that they would not have to part ways. Light refused to leave without a fight.

“No, Light…” L made an attempt to correct Light. But he realized that it was futile. They both knew it was game over for both of them. Beyond had already won. L closed his eyes and sighed deeply, as if he was forcing his lungs to keep him alive.

“What do I have to do to convince you to go?” L asked with a careful tone and stared miserably at all the money scattered messily on the floor. _Yes_ , Light thought _. This is my chance._

“Come with me.” He sternly said, not leaving room for compromises.

“That’s not possible…” L’s words left his lips as a barely audible whisper. The torture behind his lovely eyes pained Light deeply.

Light cupped L’s small face in his hands, careful, as if he were made of crystal.

“Come with me.” He repeated, softer this time, pressing their foreheads together. Locking eyes and breathing each other’s shallow breaths.

“Let’s leave this place together. Me and you. He won’t find us if we go missing.” Light dared to hope that L would agree and they could go somewhere far away from this tormenting reality of theirs.

“You don’t know him as well as I do. He would follow me to the pits of hell if that meant he could watch me suffer” L answered. He looked like a scared child, his innocent nature taking over. “That’s why you have to go without me.”

“I’m not leaving without you.” Light would repeat it over and over again if it meant that L would consider following him, just for a second.

L frowned, too tired and too hurt by everything. He ran the palm of his hand over Light’s jacket, feeling the bandages that were wrapped around his chest under the clothes and winced. Light heard the faint clinking of the handcuffs in his breast pocket, as L’s palm moved gently over them.

“Light, I want you to be safe.” _Not this nonsense again_.

“And I want you to cut the bullshit already and get the hell out of here with me.” he reasoned, stubborn, as always.

“…Okay…” L seemingly gave up, utterly crushed under Light’s pressure.

“Really?” Light questioned doubtfully, pulling away to search L’s eyes.

“Hmm…” L hummed in affirmation, closing the gap between them.

It couldn’t be that easy. L wouldn’t simply give up.

But before Light’s brain could kick in full force and fill him with even more doubt, L had placed his soft lips upon his own, stopping that particular train of thought. It was soft, gentle. Light had missed the way L kissed him deeply.

It had been _so long,_ _fuck_.

Light closed his eyes and sighed into the kiss. Their lips were barely touching, but even then, innocent as the kiss was, Light had felt his heart skip a beat. His dearest person was in his arms again.

L broke the soft kiss, far too early for Light’s liking, and he felt himself chase after L’s sweet lips. But L gently wrapped his thin fingers around Light’s uninjured arm and with great care led him towards the bed. Light couldn’t find the strength to protest to his lover’s wishes. So he followed obediently. Not uttering a single word.

L pushed Light to sit gently on the bed, near the bed frame and trailed after him, seating himself between Light’s thighs. What a lovely sight that was, Light affectionately stared at the man between his legs. He reached for L, needing to wrap his arms around his bony body, but L stopped him, clasping a hand over Light’s and setting it on the bed slowly.

He leant in for a new kiss, effectively dragging Light into oblivion with it, while his other hand stroked gently Light’s chest under his jacket. He started removing his jacket, both his hands meeting at Light’s wrists. The handcuffs softly crinkled again, moving against fabric.

Everything was lovely until the moment Light heard sobbing and felt wetness dripping on his cheeks. He pulled back confused, watched as L’s shoulders shook and his striking black eyes overflowing with tears that were streaming down his pale cheeks. Light’s soul wrenched horribly.

“Why are you crying my love?” He gently asked.

“I’m so sorry Light.” L hiccupped, still weeping. 

“For what?” Light was confused.

He went to brush away the shiny beads of tears that hung from L’s ink black lashes. His right wrist wasn’t moving. He tried again but something cold and metallic held it back.

His eyed widened in realization.

_The handcuffs._

_No, not again._

L shot out of Light’s lap the instant Light realized what had happened.

“No, L don’t do this! Don’t run away from me again!” Light cried after L had already reached the door. His chest hurt horribly, his injuries ached from the strain of his lungs yelling.

“L!! Come back!! Don’t leave me alone again!! L!!”

The last thing he heard was L’s heart-wrenching sob and the door slamming shut.

L left.

Just like that night. L had left him.

He fucking left again, leaving Light behind, chained to the bed frame and screaming his name, begging L to come back.

But no one could hear him, for L was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life lesson for Light: never bring extra stuff with you, it'll end up horribly wrong.  
> So what do you think? Have they suffered enough yet? 
> 
> Btw I needed to ask you guys, there is a scene next chapter that is going to be either from L's or B's POV. Which one sounds more interesting to you? (I'm leaning towards B, but I wanted to know your opinions.)


	8. Sweet Scent of Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light is taken back to the infirmary by his father, then a sudden new case disrupts their conversation, leaving the entire force fired up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I apologize, this is a bit late, but since university has started my free time has dropped to zero. Thankfully the story is nearing the end (It's not done yet!). It might take time, but I'll finish what I started! 
> 
> Ready for the climax of all that pain?  
> B's P.O.V. Is marked with stars *.

Light’s head fell back until it hit the chipped dry wall of the hotel.

He felt miserable.

L wasn’t responding to him.

He wasn’t responding and Light felt sorrow pierce his heart just remembering the devastated look on L’s beautiful face. If he could, Light would take every single tear from L’s eyes and shed it himself. He had wanted to drown L’s sobs with a kiss and soothe his pain with a gentle caress.

If only L had said yes, they would go away together, leaving everything and everyone behind, just the two of them. Light had wanted to start a new life. He needed that chance from the universe, so that they could be together, finally, for neither would meet a person equal to them ever again.

It was all hopeless words and promises that Light had used to fool himself into believing he deserved happiness. L had ran away from him, yet again, and Light couldn’t stop him.

_He didn’t even look back._

And that’s when he felt the cold trail of wetness dripping from his jawline to his neck. His vison was turning watery and his brain was shutting off. He didn’t want to be here anymore. He didn’t care about catching Beyond. Not anymore.

Beyond had already managed to snatch away what was most important to him.

What was the point? Everything felt empty when L was gone.

He couldn’t do anything. He was hopeless and alone. L had left and Light couldn’t hold him back. He promised to himself that he was going to do it. He had promised that he was going to hold him back and change his mind.

Light had never believed in fate. But if anything, fate had made it abundantly clear; they just weren’t meant to be together.

Light didn’t care if they found him choking through tears and handcuffed to an old bed. Let them talk. Like they would understand how it feel to have your heart smashed to pieces.

 _That’s why you’re such a fool,_ his brain reminded him.

“Light!”

The door of the hotel room flung open and Light turned his teary gaze towards the person that had entered. Soichiro Yagami entered the room, a gun in his clenched first, pointing the barrel at thin air and frantically looking for his son. Light recognized his figure through teary eyes and swallowed hard. It was the last person who Light had wanted to find him.

Not that he felt ashamed of crying in front of his father, not really. It was because it would also hurt his father. It was true, they didn’t have the best relationship, but Light was still his son. Enough people were hurt already during this chaotic mess.

His father’s lips twitched in agony and his eyes widened in pain when his eyes finally found Light’s form chained to the bed. He paused for a moment, stunned, and took in the sobbing form of Light.

His son, Light, was crying quietly in the vastness of the otherwise empty hotel room. He lowered his gun.

They were alone.

Only then his father noticed the money splayed on the floor like confetti. He didn’t say anything about that. Instead he ignored its existence completely and rushed to Light, fiddling inside his pockets for the handcuff key.

As he got closer, Light could see shiny beads of sweat were falling steadily from his father’s forehead, his breaths were shaky.

 _He was running_ , Light noticed. _Running to find me._

It wasn’t the time, really, to be happy about that, but he felt his soul lightening just a tad. Someone cared about him. And it was something he needed at that lonely, quiet moment. Of course he could blame his vulnerability for this unusual reaction later, but for now, Light was thankful.

“What is the matter with you?” Soichiro scolded as he undid Light"s left wrist. “What were you thinking Light?” He undid the right wrist.

Light didn’t have the strength to move. He felt his forearms fall limp against his torso, his eyes not focusing enough. It felt cold in here. That’s the only thing Light felt. Coldness, rushing and turning each cell in Light’s body to sharp horrible ice.

“Shinji-san called saying he chained you to a bed because you were acting impulsively. He sounded shaken. Care to explain why?” His father inquired firmly.

Upon hearing the name ‘Shinji’ something broke inside Light. He brought his arms to his knees and let the tears fall freely as a violent sob erupted from the depths of his chest. His father stood stunned, for his son had never showed weakness in the past. Even as a child Light had always been strong and decisive, standing out from the rest of the kids his age. Something terrible must have happened to reduce Light into this weeping, fragile mess.

After a particularly intense sob, Light felt something wetting his shirt. He opened his eyes just to come face to face with a watery red splash, oozing slowly from the center of his chest. Great, the stiches of his wound were now broken. Could this day go any worse?

“Let’s go Light.” His father’s tone softened upon seeing Light’s blood covered chest. “You’ll feel better when we get to the infirmary” His father wrapped a protective arm around his son’s quacking shoulders and Light couldn’t find the strength to fight back. He meekly leant in his father’s half embrace and with slow, torturous steps his father dragged him to the police car.

Faded red and blue lights filled his hazy vision making his eyes hurt. The police lights were still on.

The Chief assisted Light to sit on the passenger seat, careful not to go near the blood. Light fell on the seat like a lifeless ragdoll, his eyelids falling heavy.

“Here, have some water.” Soichiro brought a small bottle of water to Light’s lips. Light wasn’t reacting. The Chief gave up after spilling some of the water and Light was still unresponsive.

“Dear God…” His father exclaimed, observably disappointed and started the car. “Hold on son, we’ll be there in a few minutes.” But Light couldn’t hear him. He felt so sick and tired of everything, he just wanted an out from it all.

His consciousness was slowly fading with every bump of the road the car hit on their way back. He closed his eyes for a moment, seeking peace and quiet.

He fell asleep.

* * *

Light awoke when a nurse was in the middle of changing his bandages. His head was still pounding with pain and the wound still burned. He laid still on the, now much too familiar to him, infirmary bed and waited patiently for the nurse to finish her task. Light noticed that the stiches were in all in place and the blood was merely dripping from around them. Not uncommon when stitched wounds were disturbed during the process of healing.

After the nurse had scolded him about not being immobile until his wound was healed, Light had thanked her and promised to be more careful, just to shut her up. She was now finally gone, leaving Light again alone in his room.

Light smirked sarcastically. The room now felt completely his, for he had spent nearly a month of his life in it. If they allowed Light to cook, he might as well move in there already, just to make his life and theirs easier.

His thought were disrupted by a slight knock on the door. Light hummed affirmatively in response. His father, tired and completely worn out, entered apprehensively. Light was glad to see him for once.

“Light, I’m really happy to see you well.” His father offered in a professional tone _. Some things just never change_ , Light huffed knowingly.

“Yes, I’m feeling better. Thank you Sir.” He responded accordingly.

“Good.” was his father’s firm acknowledgment of his situation. Light waited for the Chief to depart from his room and go to his office, as the work of the Chief was never done. But the Chief wasn’t moving from where he stood. He wasn’t leaving. He just stood there staring carefully at Light, as if memorizing him. That definitely felt odd.

“Is there anything else you need from me Sir?” Light hurried to find an excuse to the Chief’s unsettling response.

His father blinked and focused again on Light, his expression not faltering but his hands twitching slightly. And then he approached Light in slow, measured steps never letting him out of his sight. Light watched the scene unfolding in front of him entirely too confused, wondering if he was in for another firm scolding.

But then Soichiro Yagami rose from behind the Chief’s eyes, Light’s father, and reached forwards to crush Light in a tight embrace. Light couldn’t say a word, couldn’t react, as father and son shared a long awaited and much needed hug.

“Thank God Light.” His father started with an unsteady voice. “It’s the second time I’ve thought I lost you.” He whispered softly into Light’s messy hair, stroking his shoulders affectionately, just like he used to do when Light was a child.

Light remained speechless for a long amount of time, relishing his father’s sudden and unexpected gentleness. Soichiro Yagami was a man rough around the edges, severe and strict, perfectly fulfilling his role as the Chief of the department. But Light knew that, no matter what, Soichiro Yagami loved his family above all others, even if he never actually showed it.

“I’m sorry…” Was his simple response. Light felt sorry about a lot of things, it was impossible to list them all in this brief fragile moment of peace, so he settled with a simple ‘sorry’. He hoped dearly that it conveyed correctly his regrets and doubts he had about his father.

His father then pulled back carefully, trying to avoid touching Light’s wounds. He cleared his throat, trying to revert back to his professional façade and crossed his arms across his chest. Light smiled a bit at the overly familiar sight.

“Actually officer, there is something I must talk to you about.”

 _Well, that came out of nowhere,_ Light thought, startled.

“What is it?” He tried to tilt his head upwards so that he could meet his father’s intense glare, but it really hurt, so he settled at staring on his chest. Close enough.

“Well…” The chief started, seeming unsure. “…Considering recent events, for your safety, Interpol has intervened to offer you a position as an investigator in whichever country you chose to go.”

Light’s eyes widened, why did Interpol come forward to offer him a job, his dream job, all of a sudden? Was this L’s doing? He seemed so insistent on getting him out of Japan. Light began feeling angry again, remembering the unfortunate outcome of their conversation in the hotel room.

“Many countries like England, France, Greece, Sweden, and Germany are on the list. Some of the best police units across Europe have offered you a position. You do have an impressive resume so it’s no surprise.” The chief continued announcing countries with excitement, like they were trip destinations, to Light, hoping to erase the boiling frustration from his son’s expression.

“It’s the promotion you’ve always wanted Light.” he made one last attempt to change Light’s attitude towards the offer. But his son’s mood remained sour, disappointment written all over his face.

“Why now?” Light questioned accusingly. He was nearly entirely convinced that L was the one behind this.

“Interpol has always been following Beyond’s movements. They heard about what happened between him and you and wanted to offer you protection, for they deem you as a valuable member of the police force.”

It didn’t sound impossible but Interpol never showed any interest in him whatsoever. He noticed that the Chief didn’t mention any involvement of Interpol in the hunt for Beyond.

So they just offered to ‘protect’ Light by moving him countries and didn’t want to be involved in Beyond’s case. Was Light supposed to believe that?

“So how did you know about this offer? Why didn’t they contact me?” Light was getting tired of this useless banter.

“They tried, but I informed them of your injuries and so they told me to convey the offer as the Chief of the department.” His father stated firmly.

“I’m not sure this is right. I’m not going.” Light answered definitively.

“You must! Even L suggested for you to get the position.” _There it was. Clear as a crystal_. Light smiled bitterly, trying desperately not to fall again into fits of tears. He didn’t say anything back.

“Consider this not only an order, but advice from your father. Go spread your wings in Europe, you have a lot to offer there, inspector Yagami.”

Light’s chest fell hollow, sorrow creeping up his spine as he watched his father’s pained eyes urging him to get out of this place. To leave Beyond behind to have his childish rampage. To take as many lives as he had wanted seeking petty revenge. L wouldn’t be safe like that.

“At least promise me you’ll think about it.” _I won’t_.

“I’ll think about it.” Light answered with a low voice, just to appease his father.

“Good.” The Chief offered a soft smile back.

“Chief!!” An officer suddenly stormed inside the room, panting and holding himself up on the doorframe.

“What is it?” His father snapped his head towards the man.

“There is a raging fire going on in a warehouse 30 minutes east from here. We suspect arson. We have security footage that indicates people were inside. The perpetrator must be close by. Do we have permission to infiltrate the establishment?” The man managed to say out loud. Each sentence was accompanied by a short erratic breath.

“What are you waiting for? Call the fire department and let’s go.” The Chief shot out from his place and marched furiously towards the door.

Light watched in silent surprise. It wasn’t as if sudden warnings like this were rare. Occurrences like this one were regularly a part of the police department’s job. It was surprising actually, how often arsonists were a part of their everyday routines.

So Light wasn’t particularly worried. He just hoped everything would go smoothly on the operation and they would manage to rescue the people inside.

What seemed strange to Light was that the words ‘security footage’ were in the same sentence with the word ‘warehouse’. Who puts security cameras in a warehouse? Don’t they usually use password protected locks for those? It seemed odd, but not anything strikingly out of the ordinary.

Still it bugged Light and he had a newfound curiosity to discover just what on earth had happened in that warehouse and why did they need the Chief’s approval for infiltration. Something just didn’t feel right.

After a few minutes of nothingness, Light slowly crawled out of his bed, standing with difficulty and hissing when he had finally found his balance. The wounds sent a fiery, sharp pain through his chest, but Light was determined to investigate. He needed to do something to get his mind off of the suffocating silence of the room and how it left him alone with his torturing thoughts.

Not many people were left in the building. Apparently everyone had indeed rushed out in a hurry to the location of the fire. He got in the main investigation room with heavy slow steps, finding there only one person who could have intervened with his goal.

Thankfully it was Matsuda. He was an idiot, so Light inwardly cheered. Getting rid of him was going to be a piece of cake. The other officer in the room turned his head towards Light’s limping form entering when he heard footsteps.

“Light! You shouldn’t be here.” The man jumped out of his chair and rushed to him, offering a steadying arm around his shoulders. Light appreciated it but Matsuda needed to be gone.

“I’m sorry if I’m imposing Matsuda-san” he said ever so politely “…But my father requested my view of the footage from the scene, may I take a look? I’ll go back to my room after it’s over and inform my father about my opinions on it. I have my badge on me if anyone asks.” He feigned innocence and pulled the badge out of his pocket, trying to fool Matsuda. The man’s eyes widened and shined with understanding. Light resisted the urge to facepalm.

“Sure thing!” Matsuda exclaimed way too excited. “Just lock the door after you’re done. I’m going to grab a coffee from the lobby.” He helped Light reach the console where the main screens were and set him down on one of the office chairs.

“I appreciate it Matsuda-san.” Honestly, Light had no idea how Matsuda had gotten into the force. This man would exchange classified information for a cup of decaf espresso.

“Do you need anything? I can bring you orange juice.” Matsuda said on his way out, pausing just to receive Light’s answer.

“No thank you.” he curtly responded. Matsuda shrugged in a childish manner and finally left the room.

Light rolled his eyes at the sheer idiocy of the other officer and turned to look towards the screen. A fully black background covered it. On it was a tiny white window on the top left corner with the cursor blinking on and off the screen.

All early information on a new case was password protected because the force was constantly updating the evidence until the case was closed. Not a problem, really, Light had them all memorized. He knew everyone’s password around the office for he had been the one to encrypt and distribute them to other officers.

Light located quickly the most recent folder, he swiftly entered the correct password and was faced with the welcoming message ‘Interference number 2’. That meant that he was the second person accessing this folder. Each case had an Interference number counter, just to keep things neat and help them identify intruding, unwanted clicks from outsiders. Nothing new here.

He scrolled down for few seconds and found the file he was looking for.

‘MOV_Wer_fire.mp4 (update pending)’

He pressed play.

The video lasted for only a few minutes. It was black and white, awfully grainy and there was no sound.

But Light instantly recognized the two of them. He saw them standing there face to face.

He felt dread swallowing him whole.

* * *

*

Beyond was standing still in this abandoned warehouse, waiting. He was admiring his collection of sharp knives, all splayed on top of the old, nearly rotting, wooden table in front of him. Some were still unused, pristine, clean and shiny. Others were decorated all over with small droplets of dark reddish-brown and held that metallic scent of blood Beyond had grown to love.

Blood gave him comfort. It reminded him that people were meant to stay mortal and not trying to play God like some pitiful existences he had encountered in his life. There was nothing as euphoric as the feeling of the pulsing, warm liquid running down his fingers.

‘The red river of life’ that was what A said to him when he was younger and fell off the bed scraping his knee badly and blood was rushing down his leg. He never questioned why, but his A told him it was important, so it had to be. Beyond had grown appreciating this magic ‘red river’ that kept him alive, just because A had said so.

It was only when A’s own blood stopped coursing through his veins that the monster had awoken inside Beyond, commanding him to take the blood away of people unworthy of their gift of life.

If his A wasn’t good enough to be alive, then those worthless worms that were seeking for power were just asking for it.

 _He_ had taken A away from him.

_He must pay the price._

_It shouldn’t be long now._

_He must be close._

The smell of gasoline was insufferable, but _it must be done._ Beyond had finally reached the end of the road. This was the grand finale he had been waiting for his entire miserable life. So for the very last time Beyond checked to see if everything was in order.

_Cameras are on._

_Matches are in my left pocket. Lighter is in the right._

_Jerry can is within reach._

_Perfect._

Way too many plans formed inside Beyond’s head once he was out of prison. What absolute morons they all were in there. Petty and useless criminals doing what he told them just to be in his favor. He was sick of them all, manipulators and greed hungry pigs. It was easy enough to spark a fire, _heh_ , between those fools and get out of there.

Each and every night he had imagined ways to take L’s worthless life away from him. To erase that smug smile off his stupid face and maybe carve a new one there.

He had wondered if a slit throat was the way to go.

_No, too much of his blood. I don’t even want to touch his fucking filthy body after he’s dead. Let the maggots have him._

And then, he too would cease to exist from this world. He would spent the entire afterlife wondering through hell, he knew, but he wished that maybe he could catch a glimpse of his A’s smile in paradise. Just for a moment to remind himself everything he did was worth it.

Dreaming of his angel’s smile, Beyond heard light footsteps approaching him from behind.

_He is here._

He grabbed his favorite knife by the blade, not caring if it cut the flesh oh his hands, and turned to look at the person standing opposite of him.

“You look like shit.” He took in the absolute mess of L’s frail body standing there. His eyes were puffy and wet. He must have been crying on his way there. _Good_.

“I can say the same thing for you.” L spat back roughly, his voice raspy. Beyond scoffed.

“It doesn’t matter anyway. So I guess you’re here alone this time? Like I asked you to?” A flame of rage coursed through Beyond’s body when he remembered the last time they were supposed to meet alone. “I should have known you would side with the police. You’re always hiding behind your pawns, oh great L.” He sarcastically said.

“You didn’t exactly hold your promise either.” A shaky exhale left L’s nose. “Light shouldn’t have been there.” Beyond definitely noticed the difficulty in articulating Light’s name from L. “We are completely alone this time, I can assure you.” L added carefully.

L glanced around the warehouse swiftly, immediately noticing the cameras and commenting on their existence.

“Why are you filming this? Who’s going to watch it when we’re gone?” L pointed out, frustrated.

“I just want to give your Light a show before we go.” He smirked at a baffled L.

“Light is dead Beyond. You stabbed him.” L screamed angrily at him pretending to be mad, but Beyond knew Light was alive. L didn’t know that though.

_As if I’d forgive him, even if Light was dead._

“You love him don’t you? _Light Yagami_.” He smirked crookedly, knowing how much it hurt.

L merely swallowed, watching his feet in an attempt to avoid Beyond’s painful reminder of his lover’s name.

“How precious.” He hummed, watching as L pitifully ignored him.

“I loved him too you know. A.” He saw L’s sharp gaze flick directly into his eyes upon hearing A’s name. How dare he react like that? He was the reason the person he had held dearest was dead.

“I know that expression well enough. I loved him just like you love your Yagami.” He made a face of disgust but then he remembered. He remembered the sweet memories of his loved one and the priceless time he had spent next to him. “He held my hand during thunderstorms. I fucking hated them.” Beyond recalled fondly the countless nights A had spent holding him and placating him in the darkness of the orphanage.

“He didn’t find my smile creepy. He wasn’t afraid of me. He was the only one that cared about me.” And now he was gone. “Isn’t it nice L? To find someone that understands you and accepts you the way you are?” He asked rhetorically.

But then his red eyes shined dangerously, his mood darkening instantly when he remembered that day. That dark, rainy horrible day. The worst day of his life.

“A thunderstorm was going on when I found him that day.” Beyond grasped his knife tightly, the sharp blade digging into his fingers harshly. Drops of dark red blood started sipping on the dusty floor of the warehouse. He turned to pin L with a murderous gaze.

“You took the one I loved away. I can’t let you go on with your life frolicking by the riverside with your lover. I can’t allow that. You’re not worth it.”

“It wasn’t my choice.” L hurried to respond. Fucking excuses.

“I know that. It was Watari’s. You should have refused. You knew how much the title meant to him.”

“Watari…” The name tasted bitter in L’s mouth, sorrow filling those dark eyes and rage consuming him remembering the fate of his beloved old man. “How could you? He loved us as a father. He raised us as his own children.” L screamed at the top of his lungs at Beyond, his weak legs trembling and his chest heaving.

“I guess A wasn’t a parent’s favorite then.” Beyond snarled back. “I could see him suffering. I begged you to drop him out of the program. You said it wasn’t your choice to make.”

“The pressure was too much for A to handle. It’s not my fault he chose to take his life!” L hurried to defend.

“You fucking tied the noose around his neck. Don’t play dumb with me. You could have refused the title.” insanity flashed behind Beyond’s red eyes. “I won’t forgive you for that.”

“And how is killing people going to avenge A? He’s already dead.” L tried to reason.

_That won’t work with me. I know what I am. I chose to be a monster._

“The dead don’t come back, huh?” Beyond questioned, as if he was just making the realization.

Like hell he would let L guilt trip him. He’s done worse.

“Then, how is that different to all those _you_ have killed as L? You’re no innocent _Lawliet_.” Beyond growled menacingly. “We’re cut from the same cloth me and you.”

“Tell yourself what you want. That won’t justify your actions. I did what I had to do for the sake of justice. We’re not the same.”

Beyond scoffed.

“And that boy. Light.” He saw L’s pupils dilate dangerously. “Pretty thing isn’t he? But I saw that in him too.” He remembered the menacing look in those hazel eyes clearly. “The way he was looking at me when I shot at you. Imagining a thousand ways to kill me if his hands weren’t tied. You’re the ones fooling yourselves L.”

Beyond paused for a moment, admiring the fresh blood dripping steadily form his hand and sighed.

 _Enough with this nonsense_ , he thought and threw the bloody knife on the floor.

“He’s alive isn’t he? Light?” he asked even though he had already known the answer.

“How do you know that he’s alive?” L asked him weakly, already too tired.

“You’re here.” Beyond simply stated. “Were he dead you would alert everyone on the planet to come and get me but you came here alone.” He saw L realizing his mistake, regret forming on his thin face. “You want to protect him. I can respect that.” Beyond nearly barfed seeing the sentiment written all over L’s expression.

“Dead or alive, it’s no use. I’m here now. Do what you must.”

“Oh, what a noble sacrifice!” He exclaimed with a fake gasp. “What will the media say about you bravery? ‘ L sacrifices himself for the sake of the citizens’. What a fucking joke. No one knows you’re offering to die for a pretty police officer.” Beyond laughed maniacally, bringing his blood stained palm to his chest and leaving a mark there, as he shook from the intensity of his laughter.

“My fingers have been itching.” Beyond began talking to himself. “Watching their meaningless lives leave their eyes. I’ll miss that sweet scent of death. But I’ll get something better now.” Beyond smiled and fixed his eyes on his last victim.

“How are you going to do it?” L asked in a bored voice, as if his own death meant nothing to him.

“We both know why you’re here. Don’t be afraid. The world is full of people like us. It’s not like we’ll be missed anyway.” He had wanted to make it hurt, to rub it to his face how he was responsible for this and no one else. They weren’t needed in this world.

He saw L holding back tears. And he knew why. He knew the reason why L wasn’t as dead inside as him. Fucking Light Yagami had given meaning to his worthless life, dared to make L believe there was a place in the world for him.

 _Lies, all lies_. Love doesn’t last. Empty promises and hollow words. That’s all they were. _A_ said he would never leave his side. That they could face the world together. But he had left him behind alone and it was all L’s fault.

Beyond wanted to end it all

He grabbed the Jerry can with a jerky movement and doused himself all over with gasoline. The horrid smell instantly hit his nostrils, his dark hair, now wet, was sticking to his forehead.

_It was time._

“What are you doing?” L didn’t make a move to run. He did nothing as he just stood there limply, waiting for the end to come.

Beyond, in an unexpected movement, tackled L to the ground holding with one hand his wrists above his head and with the other the lighter above his own head. L didn’t struggle.

“I’m taking you to hell with me. Where we both belong, _brother_.” Beyond cackled maniacally.

“Smile for the camera.”

He dropped the lighter.

*

* * *

Flames.

Fucking flames everywhere. Light tried to make anything through the thick cloud of dark smoke that covered the entire screen. Flames were licking the ground and menacing heat haves filled the rest of the picture, effectively blurring the remaining of Light’s view of the scene.

The video cut there.

_No, it can’t be possible._

_Not like this._

“Interference number 4” popped suddenly on the screen. Someone from the force had updates about the case! Never in his life had Light clicked on something so goddamn fast.

Light hurried to open it. He frantically searched through the document, until he read it.

‘ _Report no 3_ : No survivors were found.’

Light dropped his badge on the floor. The echo of it hitting the floor was deafening.

That one sentence had broken Light’s entire world into shards.

He fell to his knees unconsciously. The thud of him hitting the floor was earsplitting. He tried to read the report again, but only blackness filled his vision.

The realization hit him hard.

_L was gone._

_His L was gone forever._

_He would never see him again._

They say the first thing you do when someone dear to you dies, is to cry your eyes out.

Light didn’t feel like crying.

  
Light felt like he was drowning.

Light refused to believe it. What was this darkness? This eternal emptiness that had consumed his soul?

His heart had ripped itself in two, mourning already for its missing half.

Light didn’t notice he was crying. He felt the wetness trail down his face, but he felt numb. There was no visible reaction from his part, but his entire world fell crumbling in his feet, ashes of the past scattering around him and swirling violently around his head, consuming him and threatening to kill him.

He couldn’t stay here.

No, it would swallow him whole, leaving what remained of his heart to die.

He mustn’t stay.

There was no place for him here now.

Light couldn’t hear a thing. Everything was buzzing in his head.

And then Light screamed.

He violently screamed, like his heart was ripping out of his chest. He was left there on the floor, crying and wailing after the inerasable memory of his L getting swallowed by fire.

And Light knew it that moment, more clearly than ever.

He had loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously there's still more to the story. You know what that means.  
> I'm not saying anything! I'm heavily implying it.  
> I promise the pain is nearly over.  
> I'm sorry if you guys expected L's P.O.V.(maybe in a future oneshot? I'm not sure yet). I just felt like B's would make more sense, given that his motives weren't clear enough. 
> 
> I hope I managed to make you feel just a tad bad about a serial killer and hopefully understand his motives a bit better.  
> Please let me know if it felt weird. :) Love you all, and thank you for being patient with me.


	9. City of lights and thoughts of darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light runs off to France grief stricken and meets someone new, though he can't forget L. He recognizes a familiar female figure there when he least expects it and learns something that turns his world upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was supposed to be the last chapter, but much longer, so I snapped it in two, because Pharmacology *sobs* is crippling me and I'm not sure when the other half is going to get done and I wanted to give you guys at least something. At least, I managed to write this half, line by line, each day. Students, really have zero free time, and I'm incredibly sorry about all this mess and this extremely belated update.

Paris was just as beautiful as Light had imagined it to be.

The city of lights, the city of love and so many other names that had been given to this capital couldn’t really do it justice. But, as with everything in life, beauty was accompanied with a subtle scent of melancholy, and lonely souls like Light sought comfort from it. That’s why he was here after all.

The decision was made on a whim, a quick thought, born from pain and misery. He didn’t even hesitate that morning, when he slammed the door open to his father’s office, teary eyed, and demanded to take the promotion in France. It was impulsive, wild, like nothing Light had ever done in his life, but he needed to leave Japan, for grief and sorrow chased his every waking minute there.

He had chosen Paris because it was what _he_ had wanted.

He tried to move on, but his heart refused to let go and sought after its lost happiness. Light desperately wanted to put the shattered pieces of his heart back together, to move on with his life, but really, what does it take for a broken heart to fully heal? Can broken glass ever be the same again, even if the pieces were forcibly glued back together?

It always felt like that, lonely and bitter and cold. That hollow feeling in his chest made it clear to him that it was never going away. It was going to follow him like a parasite, attached to his very soul, and reminding him why he didn’t deserve happiness.

Light wanted to forget everything and start over, but every day he woke up with visions of dark eyes and black hair that, in reality, were never next to him. He swore he could feel his presence, as if he were still alive, and that killed Light inside.

So he did what he knew he was the best at. He threw himself at work to, just for a little while, escape the dreadful ghost of his past lover chasing him. It had been three months already, and Light barely even noticed time flying by. He became a hollow vessel of his former self, simply existing and forgetting everything about living.

Life as an inspector was honestly, quite disappointing. He loved the cases, he adored acting in the name of justice. It was everything Light had ever dreamed of being. But, again, all ended when his shift was over. That’s when he needed to go back home. He was left in his apartment, so painfully alone, drinking red old wine, the most expensive he could find, and sipping it quietly, while glancing at the lit Eiffel tower in the distance, standing tall and alone in the vast sky of Paris. Just like him.

And during the days when he had no job to do, Light visited all kinds of bakeries and candy shops around Paris. The show cases of the stores were so full of delicious scents and sweet confectioneries, colorful treats, works of art as they were. He had tried the famous Macarons, Eclairs and all kind of sweets, but he intentionally stayed away from the Crème Brule. The first time a woman, in one of the stores, had asked him to try it, Light politely refused in his impeccable French and turned away. He rushed to enclose himself in the nearest phone booth and broke down in tears.

The city of lights seemed so dark and lonely.

Light, occasionally, called only his father to see if his family was doing well. Case 56 was never mentioned by neither of them. He missed Japan. He missed Sayu, and his mother.

He missed _L_.

At least Light couldn’t say he was completely alone. In an unexpected stroke of luck, Light had met Misa Amane, a Japanese model aspiring to conquer Paris, on his third week in France. They lived in the same apartment complex, Light had discovered that day, when a girl with ashy blonde hair, clearly of Asian origin spoke to him in the elevator. She wore a short black dress, lace decorating the fluffy skirt and dark pearls adorning the neckline of it. She also wore a vibrant scarlet lipstick and smiled at Light with pearly white teeth. She was pretty, but that was to be expected from her profession.

She worked as a fashion model, she said, ready to make her grand debut on a high fashion French runway. She had always dreamed of becoming a model so she, just like Light, had left everything behind in Japan just to test her luck in a foreign country. Light could respect that.

Light had taken a liking to this happy go lucky girl, who acted flamboyantly and silly, for it helped him forget. They met almost every morning in the elevator on their way to the lobby. They always greeted each other, Misa was always eager and ready to make him smile, and Light was grateful for that.

One day, out of nowhere, Light asked her out for a cup of coffee. His thoughts were tormenting him greatly that day and he needed something to occupy his barbaric brain and refrain it from torturing him even more.

It wasn’t with the intention of dating her, really. He genuinely enjoyed her company and she was so very happy by this, Light couldn’t take it away from her. She hugged him tightly and wrapped her thin fingers around his hand, already completely infatuated with her new ‘boyfriend’. Such a childish mind, Light admired the simpleness of her ways.

They dated for a while. Well, in Misa’s definition of dating anyway. Misa was effectively dragging him all around the city to fancy restaurants and cafés. All of Paris must have known when they arrived somewhere, because the girl squeaked and commented loudly at everything she deemed cute enough, including Light. But it was all that prevented Light from driving himself insane.

She spent an entire evening nagging at Light about her upcoming fashion show, how it was going to be her turning point and how she was going to be famous all around the globe. Light sipped his mocha flavored coffee silently, listening carefully to her hopeful, cheery voice, but not really caring.

He just couldn’t bring himself to care enough because the truth, although bitter and cruel, was simple. No matter what Misa said or tried to do, Light just couldn’t fall in love with her.

Because she wasn’t him.

 _She’s not you._ He found himself thinking while staring at the girl sitting in front of him.

Each time Misa kissed him, Light wanted to turn away repulsed. Her lips were soft yes, but they didn’t feel the same. They weren’t silky and smooth and so very perfect like the ones he used to caress with his own. They didn’t taste of the sweet sugary madness that drove Light crazy. Each time Misa tried to approach him and touch him, Light always found a reason to turn her down. Her touch felt invasive, distant, like it never belonged there.

She inevitably wanted more. Light couldn’t give it to her, for every time he stared into her eyes, big black ones took their place and haunted him. Images of pale marble white skin, flooded his mind and the writhing beautiful form of his past lover, unforgivingly reminded Light what was gone and would be forever.

Light was lonely. Not alone. On the contrary, Light was constantly surrounded by people of different kinds. He had a decent amount of friends at work and he was highly regarded as one of the best inspectors of his division. Misa was always with him, on him, wherever he was really, but Light felt so incredibly alone with everyone.

He found himself wishing she was him, wanting and needing him horribly.

But he couldn’t have him.

One day, while he was walking down the streets of Paris with Misa, Light could swear that he could feel _him_ there. His presence lingered insistently in Light’s mind, as he frantically looked around to find him. But he wasn’t there.

He had never been.

Then, there was that huge fight he had with Misa for missing her runway debut. Light had intended to go, really, he did. But then he found out the show was going to be below the Eiffel tower, and Light avoided the place like it was the plague. He didn’t go to Misa’s catwalk. She was mad, absolutely livid, with him. And she had every right in the world to be.

And so, he found himself in deep thought and doubt. He felt horrible for leading Misa on like that, just to drown his loneliness in the presence of another person. Everything about their relationship felt empty, hollow and fake. He was using her, if he were completely honest with himself. She was merely a consolation prize to Light.

She didn’t deserve that. She, of course, being the sweet girl that she was she forgave him easily, reminding him that there was always going to be the next show and he could come see her then. She pretended everything between them was okay, even if she knew that nothing was. Until Light had enough of this pretending.

She deserved far better than a heart torn apart in two.

It was a sunny that day, the weather pleasant and the wind cool, and Light had woken up with a sole purpose. He waited for Misa on the bridge and watched the peaceful river of Seine flowing gently below his feet while doing so.

She met him, just fifteen minutes later, running towards him and waving happily at him. Little did she know, Light was going to erase that smile from her glossy lips soon.

It was painful but it had to be done. For the sake of both of them. 

And just like that, he had told her. He had told her that they shouldn’t be together and he was so, incredibly sorry he couldn’t love her back, for he loved another.

It was the truth after all.

Misa listened carefully, her mascara already dripping down her rosy cheeks and her lower lip trembling, as she tried to be strong. She failed. She cried and cried, and asked him who the other girl was and how was she better that her. Light smiled bitterly.

_It was always going to be L._

She slapped him and fled the place wailing, her heels clacking angrily on the pavement. Light watched with dead eyes as she walked away, placing his hands in the pockets of his wool jacket, exhaling shakily.

The river still flowed by. The world, utterly unchanged surrounded him, reminding him that his personal torment meant nothing to the rest of the world. The universe was greater than Light’s insignificant, selfish pain.

Light felt tired, he needed a good dose of sleep in order to celebrate and accept his solitude once more. He turned away, making a step to leave, but then, he saw a figure. A feminine figure was sitting, not so far away from where he stood, in one of the old wooden benches on the bridge, not quite fitting in and never taking her eyes off him.

Was she always there watching him?

Light had this intense urge of talking to her, to question her presence right here, right now. Something about her felt awfully suspicious and familiar.

“Hello?” He tried carefully in french. The woman didn’t respond.

He began walking towards her in slow, calculated steps, but the woman noticed the attention and instantly got up, starting to walk away fast. Light didn’t stop though, he followed her doubling the speed of his walking, trying to catch up to her.

“Excuse me, I need to ask you something.” He tried again.

She started running off the bridge and Light ran after her impulsively. He wasn’t sure why, but he intended to find out.

She was fast, but he managed to effectively follow after her, finally catching up and reaching forwards. He grabbed her, as gently as he could, by the arm and spun her around swiftly. He came face to face with dark red lips and blue eyes, shiny black hair that used to be ashy blonde. He stared wide eyed at the woman, immediately knowing who she was.

“Wedy…” he whispered inaudibly.

The woman stared right back at him for a few seconds, but she sighed defeated when Light called her by her name.

“Hello Light. What a coincidence to meet you here.” She laughed awkwardly. Light was finding it difficult to believe this was a coincidence.

“Why are you here?” was the first question that popped into Light’s head. He had so many questions torturing his mind constantly, it was getting so very exhausting.

“You know, I’m still an agent.” Light stared questioningly. “I still work for the Japanese force. I'm on a mission.” She clarified once she saw the confusion written in Light’s eyes.

“Oh...” he felt defeated, old, painful memories resurfacing again. “And Aiber?”

“He too works for the force. As L.” Her voice got suddenly quiet, as if not meaning to utter her last two words.

Light desperately tried to pretend that hearing his name didn’t hurt. But, fuck, it did. You’d think after all this time it would be easier dealing with the pain. It wasn’t. It still shot a pain, so strong, within his broken heart, just like that first time he found out L was dead. Light felt like fainting.

“That’s it.” The woman broke free from Light’s weakened grasp of her arms. “I can’t take it anymore. You look miserable.” She stated like Light’s misery was common knowledge.

“What are you talking about?” Light watched intently, as the woman’s face molded into regret and remorse.

“Light, the truth is its not the first time I’ve been in Paris this month” She started slowly, testing the waters.

“Why?” Was Light’s simple question. You can’t pop out of nowhere and throw something like that to him. Wedy remained silent for a few torturous seconds, simply clearing her throat and looking all around the both of them, far away from Light’s intense glare.

“Wedy.” Light said with a commanding tone, reaching towards her and shaking her shoulders gently.

“I’ve been here time and time again to assure you are doing fine. It’s just for a few hours each time. To confirm your well-being.” She finally managed to say. Light stared with an empty glare at her.

Surveillance? Why would Light need surveillance? He was an adult. A very capable adult. Light immediately assumed that it was his father, it must have been, for the man always had strange ways of showing his concern.

“Why is my father doing that?” Light huffed a confused laughter. “It’s not like we’re not talking on the phone every now and then.” It was ridiculous, it really was a petty and childish thing to do, so Light forgave him.

While Light was still laughing, his shoulders shaking slightly and his eyes crinkling a bit, Wedy looked at him expressionless and thoroughly confused. Light noticed and paused his amusing rouse to stare back at the conflicted looking woman.

“Light. It’s not your father.” Wedy said with a steady voice. “It’s L.”

Now that was confusing as all hell and this tiring conversation began forming a headache on the back of Light’s head.

“L?” He asked quietly, obviously troubled. “Why would Aiber send you here, I don’t understand.” Light assumed, yet again, that Aiber adopted the title of L, if Wedy was to be believed. It would be disrespectful not to carry on his name.

“No Light...” Wedy sighed and lowered her eyes, bracing herself for something. She raised her gaze and shot a piercing look into Light’s eyes. “ _L_. He’s alive.”

And then Light’s brain was fried in an instant. He remained wordless, silent and very, very still, as if he made a single move those fragile words would break him apart.

“H..how..?” he began mumbling, his lips trembling and his breath catching in his throat. “I saw him…in the flames…Beyond…”Light’s confusing monologue would have gone for decades if Wedy didn’t press a gentle finger in front of his talking mouth to stop him from doing that.

“I’m not quite sure myself how it all played out that day, but Aiber was there and managed to drag them both out the flaming building.”

“Beyond?” Light’s guts wrenched in fear, just the thought of Beyond being still alive.

“He’s dead. We couldn’t save him after he doused himself with gasoline. Fire is brutal, Light. L barely made it out alive.”

Everything was too much for Light’s weak heart. His L was alive. And Beyond was dead. What was he going to do? He started panicking silently, when Wedy offered him the only correct solution to his inner turmoil.

“My flight back is in a few hours…” She smiled knowingly. “I hope it’s enough time to pack your things.”

* * *

Light stared at the, now so very familiar, door of the nightclub. It was dark and filthy, just as he remembered it to be. The memories came flooding back, just as his fingers traced the wooden pattern of it with care. So many memories were made within those dirty doors, in that cheap looking building. Its nagging presence had been ingrained into Light’s brain, refusing to let him move on. Feelings and thoughts about himself and L were overwhelming him tonight.

Why would he come back here? Simple. That’s where Wedy said L was. And where L was, Light would follow after, no questions asked.

He liked going there, she said to Light on the flight back. He frequently went missing from his office and found in there by Aiber or her. They never had to ask him why, for everyone knew the reason. And Light nearly cried when he heard about it. L had been trying to keep a part of him, of _them_ , alive by visiting the club, just like Light tried to keep L’s memory by running off to Paris.

He had no idea how to feel. Anger, pain, happiness, relief, were all mixed in a confusing blend of anticipation and fear. Yes, one part of him loathed L for daring to let him suffer all alone grieving for his lost lover. But every other part of him wanted to see L. To touch him, and feel him close. To drown in those dark eyes and come back to life with a gentle kiss from his soft lips.

Light sighed. There goes nothing. He entered the club in a hurry, his feelings suffocating him, and looked around frantically to find the ghost of his past.

Nothing had changed. The club still reeked of smoke and the music was somehow even more awful than he remembered it to be. Everything was the same; same skimpy people grinding on each other, same broken dance floor, same blinding lights. But it felt different to Light. More melancholic. More _lonely_.

 _I’m alone_ , Light reminded himself painfully, _I’ve always been alone_. _Only he could make me forget. What if he isn’t here tonight?_

Just as loneliness was threatening to drown Light again, he saw someone he recognized. His heart sped up and Light could swear he could hear its frantic rhythm over the bassy music.

A hunched over figure with jet black hair turned away from him. He couldn’t see his face, but it was unmistakably L. His L, just the way he remembered his body to be.

Light furiously started pushing his way through people. He definitely got some ugly looks for his improper manners, but Light’s couldn’t see them nor care. He had eyes for only one person and, dear god, he was turning towards him, as if their connection was irrefutable, magnetic. He was nearly there.

His soul sang when he saw L’s beautiful face once more. His hair was a bit shorter, but still remained the glossy mess Light remembered. His dark onyx eyes shone, still not finding Light, but it was a matter of time, really. Light felt his very soul shake and scream, his hands felt numb and his breathing was unstable.

His L was alive. After all this time that he believed he was dead, but his chest still rose with every precious breath he took, his dark lashes still blinked to cover his beautiful eyes. Light was jealous of the air he breathed, the rain that fell on him, the light that bathed L in its luminescence, everything that got to be close to him when he couldn’t. Oh, how he longed for him.

He was so close now, and L, finally, looked at him. Time froze for a couple of seconds while they exchanged stares. L’s eyes widened, moistened in a fraction of a second, and his body ceased any move he was about to make. He saw his Adam’s apple bob slightly as he swallowed hard. 

Light rushed to him running, vision blurry and forgetting anything that wasn’t L.

His L was here, and he needed him more than ever. There were no anger, no cruel malice and cold loneliness anymore, for L was here and everything else turned to dust.

He didn’t even think about it when he reached L. He threw his arms around his small frame, wanting to reassure himself that he wasn’t hallucinating. That this wasn’t a dream. So Light hugged him tightly, nearly crushing his ribs in his rush to feel him. He ran his hands up and down L’s back gently, not daring to move, for he believed the vision would shatter. What wouldn’t he give for time to stop, right at that fragile moment. No words were exchanged, there was no need to.

Light knew he was shaking from the overwhelming surge of emotions that coursed through his veins, but he felt it when the dear person in his arms started shaking too. And that’s what startled Light back to the bitter reality and their tragic fate. He pulled back slowly, hesitantly, just to see L crying, and that’s when Light noticed the pattern of shiny scars running down the right side of his face, covering his delicate neck and disappearing behind his clothes.

Light felt the sharp pain stabbing him through the stomach when flashes of the flames came right back to him. _My love, how much did you have to suffer?_

Instinctively, Light reached out with his left hand to wipe the glittering tears that ran down the scarred skin of his face, his fingertips running gently over the glossy skin. L continued to cry silently, refusing to look anywhere else but Light.

“Stop crying, I want to be mad at you!” Light finally said with a lighthearted tone. It was so easy when it came to L. He could feel his eyes tearing up also. 

L huffed a tiny, sad laughter through his rainfall of tears, and Light’s heart leapt out of his chest, a soft smile formed on his lips. L’s trembling hand found Light’s own, resting just above his palm that still held L’s face gently. He sniffed adorably and looked away from Light. Light’s smile diminishing immediately.

“L?” He whispered.

“I’m not much of a spectacle, I am sorry.” L apologized with a broken voice, his fingers twitching over Light’s as he stroked the burned skin that covered his face.

“You’re even more beautiful than I remember.” Light said with zero hesitation, because it was the simple truth. Nothing would ever be more beautiful than L, not just the way he looked, but his mannerisms, his clever tongue, his intelligent mind. Everything. Absolutely everything about him Light loved.

L’s eyes snapped back at him and Light felt weak in the knees as he stared into his deep, expressive eyes, wishing to become one with them. A beautiful, genuine smile graced L’s lips and Light was falling all over again.

“Wow, that’s definitely an overstatement. I've nearly forgotten how much of a sweet talker you are.” L teased with ease. Like time had never passed between the two of them, as if they had never left each other’s side.

“Only when my partner inspires me to be.” Light quoted himself from all those nights ago, the very first one that spiraled his life into this sweet nightmare. They shared a much needed, quiet laughter and laid silent in their seemingly never ending embrace.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” L sighed painfully, closing his eyes and avoiding Light’s burning gaze.

“Okay?” Light knew he had risen his voice slightly, the frustration he held in for so long was threatening to spill over, like an overboiling kettle. Everything came back to him, all the loneliness and agony he felt. “You idiot. I hated every day you were not with me. I wished to hold you every single night of my life.” L said nothing in return. The tears now fell freely on Light’s heated skin. “Why didn’t you tell me L?” There it was, the million dollar question. “You knew where I was. Why didn’t I know you were alive?”

“I wanted to tell you but….” L’s voice went quiet, he looked unsure. Light stroked his cheekbone lovingly, urging him to continue. L shivered.

“I did come to France, to see you, once my health allowed me to, but…” L averted his eyes from Light’s, staring a hole in the ground. And Light knew instantly the reason why. He felt a sharp pang of guilt piercing his stomach. “You were with another girl.” L shared with a shaky, low voice. “…and I thought you had moved on without me.” L’s eyes, full of sadness, sought to find comfort in Light’s expression. “You didn’t know I was alive, so it was perfectly reasonable. I only wished for your happiness.” L hurried to reassure Light when he saw the remorseful expression the other had on.

A knot tightened in Light’s insides, as he grunted bitterly and grabbed L’s frail shoulders tightly with his strong hands.

“My happiness is with you, you absolute moron.” He firmly said without any regret or hesitation. “How could you ever believe otherwise?”

L’s dark eyes, unblinking, watched Light’s desperate movements. He seemed shaken from Light’s intense honesty, so Light tried to bring him back to earth.

“What are you doing in here? In the club, I mean? Why here of all places?” Light was fairly sure he knew a big chunk of the answer, but he needed to hear it from L’s lips.

“I don’t know…” L blinked, slowly reclaiming his reasoning abilities “…it’s just... I mean look at me.” He gestured vaguely to his burned face. “This is where I am accepted, no one is questioning why I look the way I do. Everyone looks weird in here.” He snorted softly, bitterly. “ ..It reminds me of you.” L said, mostly talking to himself. “It’s the only thing I had left of you.”

“Maybe it where you’re accepted but it’s not where you belong.” Light reasoned, determined.

“And where do I belong inspector Yagami?” L reached forwards to wrap his thin arms around Light’s waist. Light was drunk on the sweet smirk that L offered to him, knowing, just knowing that the cheeky bastard knew the answer very well.

“With me. Just as I belong with you.”, was their irrefutable truth that had gotten the both of them in trouble, so many times in the past.

“I’m sorry… for everything.” L lowered his head, suddenly ashamed but Light was having none of that. He grabbed his chin gently and lifted L’s small face to come face to face with him. Light felt adventurous. So, he placed a gentle, feathery light kiss on L’s sweet lips and, god, it tasted just like everything that had been missing from Light's life.

“There.” He pulled back before L could react. “All forgiven.” He assured him with a soft smile.

“I've missed you so much” L whispered inaudibly. But Light had heard him.

“You have no clue L…” _how much I've missed you too_ , he wanted to say, but the words were stuck in his throat. He brushed softly through L’s raven hair, now slightly shorter and more tangled but still silky smooth.

“There must be so much you want to know.” L said, fully expecting a rainstorm of questions from Light. Indeed, Light had many questions pending. But right now, his L was alive in his arms breathing and his eyes glittered with life.

“Yes, but first,I want you.” He saw the sinister smile forming on L’s lips. “I meant I wanted to dance with you.” The smile twitched slightly. Teasing L was immeasurably fun. “So, what do you say?” He hugged L’s thin hips, pulling him towards his own.

L let out the brightest, most stunning smile Light had ever seen on a person and dragged him to the dance floor. And among all the other guest L and Light danced their hearts out, never letting go of the other, holding each other tightly. They were laughing, crying and smiling at the same time, swinging and moving their bodies to the music, just like that first fated meeting of theirs. Where their bodies touched Light felt fiery tingles spread all over his body, and finally he gave in to the unbelievable amount of passion and affection he held for L.

“Let’s get out of here.” He whispered in L’s ear after a complicated turn move in Light’s arms. “Right now.” Light urged, just holding L impossibly close to his hot body, needing to convey the rushing feeling and hoping that it would be mutual.

“But….” L started to feel self-conscious, hiding his face in Light’s shoulder.

“No, don’t do that.” Light maneuvered his head in a way to face L’s sad eyes. “Please, I need you and I miss you so much. Come with me.” He nearly begged.

L’s beautiful eyes sparkled, his lovely lips curled up and Light’s heart was pounding so hard.

“How can I say no to you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, L is alive! I'm not sure how many of you are still interested in the story after all this time, but wholeheartedly thank you for your patience and overwhelming kindness. The last chapter is going to be a fluffy (and smutty) climax to the story, when I manage to write it that is. I'll see you guys then, unless I die from over-exhaustion. :) I hope you liked the small half-chapter.  
> Shout-out to @Some_body for letting me add the magnificent line of: " light that bathed L in its luminescence". Thank you for letting me use it, I love it so much!


	10. As long as you’ll have me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light spent the night together and promise to each other to stay. Also, L tries to cook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my beautiful people! This is it. We have reached the end of the story.  
> I'm really Sorry I made you wait so long, I truly thank you for your patience. But it is finally all set and done!  
> I hope you like the ending! It's a happy one, just like I promised, and I may have gone a bit overboard with the fluff. <3

Everything felt like a dream, time passing slowly and the real world disappearing completely for Light.

Nothing else existed. Nothing was more important than this very moment, when Light, after months of desperate longing, finally had L close. The person dearest to him and the formerly missing half of his lonely soul. He sounded like the protagonist of an overly cheesy romantic film, but God help him, he felt alive, joy and happiness igniting him all over again.

When they reached his old apartment, after a long, quiet ride back, Light took L’s hands, ever so gently in his own, and walked slowly inside, dragging L softy behind him. It felt like home again now, when L was here. Every movement was gentle, feathery. Like L and Light weren’t a part of this reality, but existing only in their own, magical world where they could both feel understood, accepted, _loved_.

Light needed this. He needed to feel something, anything, in order to finally realize that L, his very own L, was alive. Neither of them talked, they didn’t have to. After all this time they still understood each other in a way no one else ever could. They merely stared into each other’s eyes briefly, instantly understanding everything. Why are words needed, really?

He stroked L’s marred cheek once and felt him nuzzle into the touch, like a touch starved kitten, and Light couldn’t help but feel his heart flutter wildly against his chest.

Light begged to whomever could hear him for time to remain still. For L to never be away from him again. Light did not believe in happy endings. But maybe, just maybe, fate could be good to him, only this one time. He didn’t need anything else.

L was set gently on top of the bed, his frail arms never letting go of Light’s shoulders. Light was shaking, he knew, and L offered him a soft smirk, barely a smile, but it soothed Light immensely. L’s mere presence was enough to reassure Light that everything would be okay. He wanted so badly to believe that.

“Are you okay?” L broke the fragile silence, muttering the question softly against Light’s ear. 

“Yeah.” _Better than I have ever been_ , he doesn’t add. He reached to brush away L’s feathery dark hair, so that he could stare at those black eyes he had so dearly missed. L shuddered visibly and closed his eyes, throwing his head back and exposing his milky white neck to Light.

Light began peppering kissed along L’s sharp jawline, the sweet curve of his neck until he reached, much to his dismay, the unwanted fabric of L’s button up shirt. He paused for a bit, looking up and searching L’s face for permission.

L huffed out a soft cloud of air and silently gave him permission through clouded eyes, but Light needed to hear it. He needed to know that L felt comfortable enough with this.

“We can leave it on if you want to.” He promised gently, laying a single kiss on top of his covered chest, knowing that L felt uncomfortable showing his scarred skin. His words of self-hatred at the club were a sharp knife in Light’s heart. L was beautiful to him, no matter what, but he would respect L’s wishes if he chose to not show himself to Light.

L stared, searching for the truth in Light’s intense gaze, and reached forwards with the palm of his hand and stroked Light’s soft cheek. Light sighed shakily and relished the touch. But L took his hand away, far too quickly for Light’s liking, and with mechanical precision he began unbuttoning his own shirt, eyes never leaving Light’s face.

And Light could see it clearly written all over L’s expression.

_I want you more than anything_

While L was working on his shirt Light nearly tore his own off his body, the heat around him becoming unbearable. And Light knew that he wanted to touch, to taste, to worship everything L would offer to him. So he began pressing slow, feather light kisses along L’s, now exposed clavicles. Light froze when his lips reached the shiny part of L’s skin, opening his eyes to look.

It had consumed half of L’s body. The scars. It went all the way from the side of his neck to the hem of his pants. Waves of smooth scar tissue were decorating L’s chest and Light nearly collapsed when L turned his head away, ashamed.

No, Light wouldn’t let him do that. He grasped L’s chin and turned him just enough so that their eyes could meet. L’s black eyes were wide and frightened, as if he expected Light to reject him any time now.

“You are so beautiful, my L.” Light voiced the truth as he leant down to press a peck on L’s blushing cheek. He felt L’s chest from beneath him rise trembling, as he took in a shaky breath.

“You are lying.” L said with a raspy voice.

“Are you calling me a liar L?” Light brushed his fingers through L’s messy bangs. L’s face softened and he offered Light a small smile.

“You are a lot of things Light Yagami, but not a liar.” He played with the soft strands of Light’s hair. “Now can you please fuck me into oblivion?” L rocked his hips on Light’s clothed erection but all Light could do was laugh softly. He had other plans for tonight.

“No rush, my dear.” He hushed L, as he began trailing kisses again down his body. Light wanted to relish absolutely everything.

Light kissed along the scarred tissue that covered L’s torso, feeling L shiver and writhe below him, nearly in a desperate state of begging Light to get on with it. Light smirked evilly, knowing what would come, he grabbed L’s narrow hips and flipped them over so that L could be on top of him. L’s eyes became feral, as he ground himself on Light, a wanton expression painting his face.

“What, you want me to ride you again?” He crooned softly, staring at Light through lust filled eyes.

“No.” He saw L’s face fall instantly. He smiled. “I want you to fuck me.”

L’s eyes widened, his breath hitched in his throat and his hands slipped gracefully off of Light’s arms. He fell straight down on Light’s toned chest. Light laughed and reached forward to place a small kiss on L’s tight lips to soothe him.

“Aa..Are you sure?” L stumbled adorably.

“Never been more sure in my life. I’m in your capable hands, oh great L.” Light teased easily.

“Stop that.” L smacked Light’s pectoral playfully. Light took in the absolutely amazing vision of L and how his adoring eyes swallowed Light entirely.

“So, will you fuck me, or do I have to beg?” Light wrapped his long arms around L, feeling around the soft hair on the nape of his neck.

“I didn’t think that Light Yagami could beg anyone.” L began drawing gentle patterns over Light’s toned body.

“You’re not anyone.” He smiled sincerely “Pretty please L. I need you. I’m begging you to have me.” He said half-jokingly trying, but failing, to act submissive.

“Okay, I regret witnessing that. It’s so creepy.” L laughed and wore an expression of great discomfort.

“Way to woo your partner by calling them creepy.” Light deadpanned.

“I never said I didn’t like it.” L pressed forward and placed a solid kiss on top of Light’s heart in a silent request of ownership. Light couldn’t offer it twice for it had been already his. “You’re so perfect Light.” He whispered. “I….” _oh shut up already_. Light grabbed, almost violently, the back of L’s head and dragged him down for a maddening deep kiss.

Tracing L’s soft lips with his skillful tongue, Light began undoing L’s belt suggestively, already feeling more needy than he had ever felt in his life. He felt cherished as L’s thin fingers worshipped faithfully the entirety of Light’s body, dancing softly around the hems of his clothing and finally removing them with a dexterity only L possessed. 

Their tongues met in a futile battle, full of lust and dominance, each wanting to mark the other and possess him completely. Light whimpered pitifully when L pulled back after a while, for his heart was beating frantically, his limbs were trembling visibly from the sheer amount of emotion that coursed like lava through his body. He didn’t want this to end. He didn’t want L to leave.

L, mouth red and swollen, eyes blown open wide, was startled by Light suddenly voicing his reluctance to get away from him. He let a soft smirk form, and a gentle blush dusted his pale cheekbones, and Light could swear that L’s angelic face right now in this very moment, was, by far, the most beautiful thing he had ever witnessed.

L understood what Light felt. He always did. He pushed Light’s caramel bangs out of his face gently, one last time and then finally, finally lowered himself to stroke softly Light’s naked thighs, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from the man beneath him.

He reached the base of Light’s half-hard erection and began stroking the velvety skin until Light was hard as a rock in his hand. Light’s eyes began watering as pleasure and want increased with each one of L’s teasing movements. When L felt that Light was sufficiently aroused, he pressed a slow, wet kiss on the flushed tip of Light’s erect penis, and Light shivered all over again.

L began circling the tip of his index finger around Light’s perineum while reaching for the lube and the condoms next to them on the bedside table. He began playing around Light’s sensitive skin and just smeared the lube around, biting his tongue in deep concentration, like he was a child finger painting. Light smiled, remembering how L probably had no idea what he was doing.

“You don’t know what to do, do you?” Light teased, moving his hips around, slightly impatient to get things going.

“I do have some general knowledge, but I am afraid I lack the experience to execute this procedure of homosexual arousal.” Light snorted loudly, remembering how much he had missed L and L’s weird way of talking.

“I can’t say that your laughter is encouraging me to try.” L mumbled pouting, but was clearly amused.

“I’m sorry.” He wasn’t. “It’s okay, I’ll help you.” Light, still laughing breathily, reached down to wrap his hand gently around L’s. “Try pressing one finger in. Slowly. And with a lot of lube.”

L swallowed hard and did just as Light told him. Light hissed slightly at the invasive felling, but it wasn’t painful. It had been really long time since Light had done this.

L froze the instant he heard Light, being the gentle soul that he was, but Light looked at him through lidded eyes and nodded, giving him the permission to continue.

So one finger became two, and then three, and Light needed more.

“L…. please.” Light begged genuinely, bucking his hips upwards to let L know how much he needed him.

L, in an instant, removed his fingers and placed himself over Light, his own arousal driving him crazy. Just for a brief moment L searched Light’s eyes, as if he was silently asking Light if he was okay with this. Light was so okay. Great, in fact. And he would get better if L started fucking him already.

Light, being an absolute tease, pressed himself down on L and felt the pale man lurch forwards, instantly seeking pleasure in the velvety heat that surrounded him. Light moaned, as L’s length sheathed itself fully inside of him, the stretch of it being delightfully sinful.

L grunted sexily and slowly wrapped Light’s twitching thighs around his narrow waist. He never looked away from Light, always checking any signs of discomfort or pain. His pale chest was heaving and his dark fringe sticking to his sweaty forehead.

“M…more.” Light managed whispering. And it was all L needed to hear.

He slammed himself into Light, making the man beneath him shake like a leaf and moan wildly. This wasn’t just sex, no. Light knew it then more ever. How much he felt about his beautiful lover.

A magnificent dance began between their bodies, full of undeniable lust and overwhelming passion reminding them both how fragile the human heart truly is. For the moment you trust someone with your body you must be prepared to bare your heart and soul to them, hoping they won’t shatter them to pieces.

Light felt vulnerable, weak, completely at the mercy of L, right here in L’s arms and, dear God, nothing ever felt so good. So goddamn perfect.

Like it was meant to be.

Light locked his arms around L’s frail shoulders while L drove into him repeatedly, slowly setting a rhythm that felt pleasurable for both of them. He panted and whined while loving Light and caressing his body, as if committing everything to memory.

 _You don’t have to, I’ll always be here_ , was the stray thought that appeared in Light’s head.

Light was close, he knew. And the sinful sound their snapping hips made, skin on skin, was only driving him more crazy. He couldn’t hold it back anymore. Light let himself drown in pleasure, his hips lifting off the bed and twitching wildly as he reached his orgasm, ropes of his semen covering his and L’s chests.

“Ah…Light…” L, clearly on the verge of orgasm, tried to pull out from Light, probably thinking that Light would feel uncomfortable, but Light, blasé, tightened the grip he had of L’s torso with his legs and dragged him all the way in again. L let out a trembling, long moan and Light felt intense satisfaction watching his lover fall apart above him.

L collapsed right on Light’s sweaty chest, eyes closed and arms hugging Light close, as if they were one.

 _Truly now, I belong to you_ , was the only thing Light could think, before letting himself relax, closing his own eyes and burying his fingers in his lover’s damp, soft hair. Silence engulfed them, letting them both simply exist in this perfect moment.

“I think I love you.” L broke the fragile silence, whispering the words of adoration against the soft skin of Light’s throat.

“I’ve never stopped loving you.” Light informs him carefully, tightening the grip he had on L’s hair, just a tad, to assure him he felt the same for a long time now. L hummed sweetly in acknowledgment. No more words were needed. But Light felt he had to say it.

“Don’t leave me alone again.” L didn’t miss the slight pain that came through Light’s words.

“I have no intention to.”

“Stay with me forever then.” Light smiled softly.

“I will.” L turned his head with his delicate hand.

They sealed the promise with a gentle kiss.

* * *

Next morning Light wakes up expecting to see the angelic form of L splayed across his pristine white sheets. But L isn’t there, oh fuck he isn’t there, and Light nearly screams.

He was ready to throw himself in doubt, that the previous night had ever happened and all was a weirdly perfect dream, when he heard a weird sound coming from downstairs and smelled something burning.

He shot right out of bed, grabbed the nearest article of clothing he could find, a plain blue robe, and ran down the stairs to find L poking the frying pan with a wooden spatula.

He sighed in immense relief and ran a shaking hand through his morning, uncombed hair. He felt like he had gone through a mini stroke, but wasn’t he a bit young for that? L’s presence really made strange things happen to him.

When he calmed down enough he approached L, walking quietly as for not to startle the aspiring chef.

“Good morning.” he said with a groggy voice, hugging L from behind gently.

“Morning!” L exclaimed, way too excited to be cooking whatever he was cooking, and after the briefest kiss from Light, he continued stabbing the inside of the pan. Light propped his chin upon L’s shoulder to take a look.

“You’re making scrambled eggs?” Light noticed the messy, yellow lumps of egg that covered the pan that emitted a strong scent of burnt protein. He watched with great amusement, as L’s face scrunched up and he tried to flatten the lumps, failing spectacularly.

“To my defence, it was supposed to be an omelet, like you taught me how to do, but those eggs are dysfunctional.” L stated in all seriousness.

“How can eggs be dysfunctional?” Light indulged him.

“I don’t know Light! Differently folded proteins, a mutation coming from the hen. You’re smart, you tell me! I followed the recipe perfectly!” He was being way to passionate about eggs, which Light found adorable.

“The eggs are fine L.” He heard L scoff. He laughed. “It’s not always the ingredients, it’s the technique you’re using.”

“You put eggs in a frying pan, what technique are you talking about?” L sounded confused.

“You don’t stir the eggs if you’re making an omelet.” Light informed him through a soft smirk of amusement.

“Ohh….” L instantly froze and stopped attacking the eggs with his spatula. “But I wanted to make an omelet for you!” he nearly whined adorably. Light smiled and kissed the side of his pale throat.

“I know how to make one. I’m kinda craving scrambled eggs right now.” He said, voice sweet as honey.

“I know you’re bullshitting me, but literally we have no other choice that this mess.” He gestured towards the slightly burned eggs. Light laughed softly.

Everything felt tranquil, perfect. Like nothing had happened and they were always together like this. But it wasn’t the truth. Light suddenly remembered last night, and no matter how gloriously perfect it was, Light was left with unanswered questions and it was eating him up inside.

“L?” He started carefully. L merely hummed in affirmation.

“What happened that day?” was Light’s carefully worded question but L could understand clearly what he truly meant. _How did you get out alive?_

L sighed defeated, already expecting the question, for he had never provided any answers and Light was unintentionally left in the dark until now.

“I’m alive thanks to Aiber.” L smiled bitterly, “He had been following me around that day and stormed inside the building to drag me out soon after the fire started.” He turned to lock eyes with Light. “He told me he had made a promise to someone to keep me safe.”

Never in his life had Light wanted to kiss someone’s feet and worship their entire existence but now. He couldn’t believe that this day would come, when he would be thankful of Aiber’s existence but it seemed life was full of surprises for him.

“How…?” _How did the police not know you were alive? How did you escape the surveillance system I saw change in front of me?_ Was what Light wanted to say but was unable to do so. L rubbed his forearm soothingly with his free hand.

“Wedy hacked the system, after Aiber’s orders, and interfered, altering the log to make me appear dead and she gave me a choice.” He explained softly, hoping and praying that Light would understand. “When I found out I couldn’t be with you…” he choked slightly on his words, tightening the grip he had on Light’s wrist.

“…I was devastated. But I wanted to offer what I had left, my reasoning skills, for the sake of justice. So, I continued working with them from behind the scenes and Aiber officially claimed the title of L, giving me the chance to work anonymously.” Light searched for L’s hand, intertwining their fingers gently together and squeezing his hand reassuringly. He did understand, and as much as he had cursed his fate in the past, he couldn’t help but silently thank it for sending L into his Llife.

“Beyond?” Light asked quietly, wanting to relieve L of the burden of his brother’s death, even if it were just a little bit, by sharing it with him.

“He doused himself with gasoline, head to toe. There was nothing we could do Light.” Was L’s truthful, almost mechanical answer.

“I’m sorry you lost your brother.”

“I’m also sorry for him. He was brilliant Light, if only madness hadn’t consumed him.” L sighed painfully and leaned back, seeking comfort in Light’s warm embrace. Light only held him closer.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you.” Light gave the only apology he felt L needed to hear. He couldn’t change the past, he couldn’t erase history, but his soul never stopped wanting and longing to be next to L, and Light needed him to know that. L smiled.

“You’re here now. I’m really the one to blame here, I could have told you. I’m still not sure if you’ve forgiven me.” He said bitterly, sadness creeping onto his dark stormy grey eyes.

“There’s nothing to forgive.” Light pressed a brief kiss on L’s scalp. “It wasn’t easy for you L. I understand that.”

“Thank you Light.” L hummed in appreciation placing his own version of a kiss on their connected hands.

So they were both quiet for a brief, calm moment and Light found himself daydreaming about the many more mornings he could spent with L like this, holding him, kissing him, and have him close. He could only hope L wanted the same.

“I should really take this off the stove.” L suddenly remembered the disastrous dish he had been making “It’ll turn into coal of I leave it on more.” Light laughed genuinely and helped L turn off the stove and placed the, now dark brown, eggs in a plate.

Wanting to test his luck, Light grabbed a fork from a nearby drawer, stabbed a few pieces of crisp egg and reluctantly ate a small piece of it. _This is what ash tastes like_ , was Light’s first thought when the egg touched his taste buds, but he didn’t want to sadden L, for he was watching him carefully through wide, excited dark eyes.

“How is it? Is it good?” L’s eyes shone with anticipation and pride. “You didn’t spit it out immediately, like I thought you would, so it can’t be that bad, right?” _It was._

“It’s perfect.” He struggled to get the words out, his face was probably scrunched up, so he raised a thump up for extra affirmative effect. L did not buy it.

“Yeah, remember when I said you’re not a liar? I changed my mind.” He deadpanned, but then smiled at Light so very softly. “You are the sweetest liar I’ve met. And I love sweet things Light, you know me.”

Light hugs him the instant L finished his sentence, burying his nose in L’s soft hair and couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to know this would last. He couldn’t imagine his life without L in it. Because only L could see him, truly see him. Not the empty walking shell of inspector Yagami, but just Light.

“I want to spend more time with you.” he whispered softly in L’s dark hair, ready to promise him the world if he asked him to.

“I’m sticking around as long as you’ll have me.” L said back quietly, reaching his arms around Light and burying his thin fingers in the soft material of his robe.

“Does forever sound good to you?” Light half-teased. L chuckled.

“I’ll have to check my schedule.” He pulled back so that he could face Light, his entire face sparkling of joy. “Oh look! It says I’m reserved for Yagami Light for the rest of my life. You don’t mind, do you?” It was Light’s turn to laugh softly.

“Not at all.” He pressed one firm kiss on L’s forehead, overwhelmed by the strong feelings of affection and love that coursed through him whenever he was near L. He never wanted to be apart from him, not again.

He belonged with L. It was the irrefutable truth.

_Finally_ , Light thought _, I have found somewhere I belong._

* * *

-Two years later-

_To my dearest Lawliet,_

_I know you said you don't want anything big for your birthday and you wanted it to be an “ordinary” day but there is no such word in my vocabulary._

_Did you find the cake? I assume you did because probably you're not answering my calls._

_Yes I know you just checked your phone, it’s okay, I'll be home soon anyway._

_By now you're probably stuffing yourself with strawberry shortcake. Please don't get carried away and leave a piece for me too. I've gone all the way to eastern London for that cake, and let me tell you, those strawberries might as well be made out of pure gold. But I don't care. I would have bought the entire bakery for you if I could, but you know I'm saving money for the wedding._

_Remember yesterday when you decided it was a good idea to suck my fingers out of nowhere? Yeah, I found my ring this morning in the cookie jar. You could have told me, you sugar devouring creature._

_I mean, it wasn’t worse than the time you “accidentally” dropped yours in my coffee because you wanted us to take the cat for a walk. He's a cat L. We don't have to take him walks. But since it’s your birthday, I generously forgive you._

_Since you'll most definitely throw this away if I start wishing you Happy Birthday and all that jazz, I'll just write you a list, just like you love doing, about why I love, not only your birthdays, but every single day I spent with you._

_Okay, let me start._

_1) I love the way your eyes shine in the morning when I tell you good morning, they remind me of the London sky, since it's apparently always fucking raining in this county (It was meant to be a compliment)._

_Your eyes are still the most beautiful and captivating thing I have ever seen in my life._

_2) I love how you jump on me when I arrive home after a long case and you won't get off me unless we go to sleep together so that I can rest. You're such a child sometimes._

_3) I love stroking your hair every night, and I can't stress enough how much that haircut suits you._

_4) How adorable your tiny snores are when you drink chamomile tea before bed with a million sugar cubes in it, which is almost every day nowadays._

_5) How you bought me a chocolate fountain for a birthday gift and you consider it “cooking” whenever you're using it to dip marshmallows in it._

_6) How you changed all of our shampoos and soaps to strawberry scented stuff. Now I have to get used to you nibbling my fingers constantly when we are watching a movie. Don't get me wrong, I like it, but my father nearly fainted that night, when we visited them in Tokyo last month._

_7) How I received multiple calls from the pharmacy asking why my fiancé wanted to buy every flavor of condoms available and asked for the company’s number to suggest more “intricate” flavors. Just why L? You are so ridiculous sometimes my love._

_Is 7 enough? It is widely considered to be a lucky number, so I’ll just stop here for now._

_I'm not really good at making lists and I have way too many things to say._

_Oh well, I’ll just have to save some things for the rest of our years together. You're stuck with me detective and I can’t imagine my life without you in it._

_If you ask for your gift just come and find me. I'll be sure to deliver it to you personally._

_And finally, there is no list big enough for me to say all the things I love about you, because simply I love all of you._

_You have no clue how much you mean to me, my Lawliet._

_Thank you for everything._

_Forever yours, Light._

_p.s. I hope you actually burn this because I'm sure this is the cheesiest thing I've ever written._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. The end.  
> Now, I wish to express my sincerest thank you to everybody who read, bookmarked, and liked this story.  
> To the dear people who have commented, just know, you have a special place in my heart and I can't stop smiling when I'm going through your comments again and again. You make my day each and every time. :)  
> I hope I made your day just a bit better by sharing this story!  
> Fun Fact: Can you guys believe that this was going to be a one-shot originally? I did not intend to write ten chapters of this but I'm kind of glad I did. That last line describes me completely. :D  
> Again, thank you for everything. I adore you all! Take care of yourselves! <3


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